first-timers at a party - any advice?

[ctshycouple]

Hello everyone we are a married couple him 30 and she 26 we are not even first time swingers yet but that might change on April 16. we are planning on attending our first party. We have been talking sbout trying this lifestyle for a while now, and are finally going to. Any advise for us? We are obviously nervous and excited at the same time. We are looking forward to both the party and your advise. Thank You and we plan on being sround for a while. E& C

[TNT]

Welcome to the board...we sure hope you stick around and join in all the wonderful discussions here.

It would help with giving you advice on your party if we knew what type of party it was. Is it a house party, a social, an on-premise club or an off -premise club ? Each are wonderful but do have different dynamics and knowing which you are attending will determine the advice you get.

One piece of advice that will pertain to all the above is that No means No and never do anything that you are not comfortable with. Make sure that you both have discussed any rules/boundaries that you are comfortable with doing and not doing. Don't hold anything back in this discussion.

Once I know what kind of party it is, I'm sure I will have a bit more to say .


Teresa

[LikeMinds321]

Hello and Welcome

As TNT said, there are different types of parties and if we knew which you will be attending, we could offer better advice.

You might like to look through some of the threads in the Swinging at Cubs/Parties/Resorts forum .

Since you are brand new to all this, and have questions, I'm going to move your post to the New Swingers forum where more members are likely to read your post.

Glad you are here. Please come back and post more about yourselves and your upcoming event!

LM

Welcome to the board!!

I'm sure you will find a LOT of help on this one.

[Play-Nice]

OK - We have been watching this thread for a couple of days now, waiting on a further Tips. Finally I had to break down and create an account (actually we were planning on it anyway ).

Like ctshycouple, we are a married couple (him 30 and she 27) getting ready to take our first steps into this almost overwhelming world of pure pleasure. We have definitely learned a lot in the past few weeks about entering the lifestyle (mostly from this site and its open and friendly members).

We first started to discus the option of "Swinging" a few years back but didn’t really know how to get into it. Well, a few weeks ago we started talking about it again and this time we decided to actually LOOK for information on it. We discovered a site that talked about a lifestyles party in our area (about 20 miles from home). The site was very appealing, it was discrete, clean, and void of everything we were finding before hand. Most of the sites seemed more "Fuck" sex than "Sensual" sex (if that makes any sense). We don’t really want our first time out to be to a stereo-typical orgy. We don’t want the 30 minute cum and go home show, we want the 3 - 4 hour earth shattering orgasm that leaves you quivering in the corner on the floor naked for the rest of the night.

Sorry got a little side-tracked there. So here is the deal, we are scheduled to attend this "Social" on the 23rd. It is in a Hotel. From what we can gather it is drinks and dancing in the ballroom until 12:30ish then the party moves up to their "Party Floors." We are very nervous about our upcoming night out. We do not know what to expect, or what proper etiquette is. We are more worried about how to find what we want. She is Bi and He is Straight, both want pretty much only another woman. She may be willing to allow another man, it’s just that She is not too crazy on the idea. Kind of a REALLY depends on the guy situation. Other than that, our personal rules are wide open. She can do anything with a woman, He can do anything with a woman. She can do what she feels comfortable with with a man, He doesn’t play that game.

Any advice on what to expect, what to do, or better yet what NOT to do, would be GREATLY appreciated.

TIA...

J&S


PS
I would like to add that our sex life just talking, planning and thinking about….. WOW! We have both been at each other every waking moment (even some non-waking moments). Cant wait to see what happens there and after.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Play-Nice

Sorry got a little side-tracked there. So here is the deal, we are scheduled to attend this "Social" on the 23rd. It is in a Hotel. From what we can gather it is drinks and dancing in the ballroom until 12:30ish then the party moves up to their "Party Floors." We are very nervous about our upcoming night out. We do not know what to expect, or what proper etiquette is. We are more worried about how to find what we want. She is Bi and He is Straight, both want pretty much only another woman. She may be willing to allow another man, it’s just that She is not too crazy on the idea. Kind of a REALLY depends on the guy situation. Other than that, our personal rules are wide open. She can do anything with a woman, He can do anything with a woman. She can do what she feels comfortable with with a man, He doesn’t play that game.

First off Welcome to the Board...so glad you finally came out of lurking mode and decided to join, we look forward to getting to know both of you better.

Now on to your questions...

So, your going to a Social...congrats for taking this step. Now, remember don't be nervous yeah, easier said than done.

I would suggest that you go with no expectations of hooking up with anyone. You might or you might not but when the only expectation we have is to have a good time, we are rarely disappointed.

Dress to impress...remember you only get one chance for a first impression. Most socials allow the women to dress as sexy as they want. This can range anywhere from an evening gown to see-through lingerie. If the ladies dress is something that is not appropriate in public take a wrap/coat with you to cover up outside of the social room. The men usually wear dress slacks with a nice shirt or nice jeans with a button up shirt...casual dress is the usual for the men.

If the Social has a new couples orientation that is always a good way to start. It allows you to ask any questions you want and also allows you to meet other new people before the regulars arrive.

You may find that a social seems rather cliquish...this is because socials are usually only held once a month and sometimes it's the only time that the regulars get to see each other so they tend to spend the time with each other without mingling with the new people. Don't worry about this, there will be (or should be) those couples who understand the new couples feelings as well as a host or hostess that will take the time to introduce you around to everyone. If there's not...get up and introduce yourselfs. People are very friendly and don't bite (well, unless you ask them to).

Proper etiquette...act like you want others to treat you. Never touch without asking, always be polite, smile and remember that No means No.

You may find that people get a little wild at a social, but you want (or shouldn't ) see any kind of sex act performed in the social room. Now, when you venture up to the party floor...there's no telling what you will or will not see. Most socials have what they call a Hospitality Room...people will come in, sit, talk, may have a few snacks available and you may even find that people are having sex in one corner of the room while others are conversing in the other. It all depends on the mood of the evening.

As to finding what you want....Like I said go with no expectations. Socials are a meeting place for like minded folks not an all out orgy where you have sex with everyone who attends. Think of it like a big party where people are getting together to mingle and talk, dance and learn about each other's wants and desires where swinging is concerned. If a single woman is what you are looking for chances are you won't find it...not saying that it couldn't happen, but couples are who frequent socials and most couples are play together couples, so if your wanting the wife, you'll have to take the husband as well. You will find those who play separately and/or those couples where only the wife plays and the husband watches...all you can do is ask and discuss what their comfort zones are and explain what your's are.

Remember to have a good time, that No means No and never let anyone talk you into doing something that your not comfortable with.

I'm not sure I answered any of your questions as I feel like I have rambled, but hopefully it's help. If you have a specific question, never hesitate to ask here on the board.

Good luck,

Teresa

[hilltop]

welcome to the board guys!

Given that the party is in a hotel with a social before the upstairs "activity", use the social time to get comfortable. Let people know this is your first swing experience. Look to connect with people on a social level and let the sexual stuff come as it may. Be honest with yourself about expectations and focus on enjoying each other in this new situation. If the dance is stimulating enough and you find yourself unsure about the other activities - make a graceful exit and go home to a hot night with each other.

Communicate deeply with each other on where your limitations are and let them be your guide. Most importantly . . . have a great time!!!!

[Play-Nice]

Actually that really puts our minds at ease with some of the concerns we had. We are so excited about attending. We are going with the idea that if something happens it happens, if not then at least we had a night out without the kids and can always return to our own room and have fun

Thank you for the reply.

J&S

I will have to let you know how it works out

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Play-Nice

We are going with the idea that if something happens it happens, if not then at least we had a night out without the kids and can always return to our own room and have fun

I will have to let you know how it works out

That's the best attitude to have. We look forward to hearing how it goes.


Teresa

[hilltop]

Looking forward to hearing how it went!
Enjoy!!!!

[Play-Nice]

Ok - We are officially bummed out now. With the past couple of weeks building up to the excitement of our first “Event” which was to take place tomorrow night, and all the rest of the preparations taken to ensure we had the best time possible…. Mrs. Nice started her period today. A sadness will surely be in the air at our household this weekend.

Sorry, any good first timer stories will have to wait until who knows when…..

&

[BradAndJanet]

Hey, that's too bad Play-Nice.

You could still go and meet some people anyway. It might be good, as it will take the pressure to play away and believe me, people will understand. It happens all the time.

-B