How do you know when it's ok to watch?

4HavNfunHung · 07-14-2004, 03:06 AM

I haven't been to a swinger's club but plan to at some point when I know more. Perhaps if I had been to one the answer to this question would be obvious so please forgive me if this question sounds silly.

I am curious how a person or a couple know's when it is okay to watch other people/couples engaged in play? Or, would you only watch people that you had been talking to or know prior to them getting started?

07-14-2004, 09:32 AM

I would assume that if the couple is having sex out in the open in a club then it is OK to watch. As long as you are not watching in a Ted Bundy sorta way.

If you go into a closed room it probably would not be Ok.

HotCoupleGnS · 07-14-2004, 10:05 AM

I think I would agree with what Mr&Mrs-naughty said. Although we have never een to a club yet. I would assume that if a couple is having sex out in the open in front of everyone, that it is ok to watch.

**good times** · 07-14-2004, 02:25 PM

If the couple is having sex out in the open I would think it would be ok to watch, any other time it is considered good manners to ask first.

WesternSwing · 07-14-2004, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

I would assume that if the couple is having sex out in the open in a club then it is OK to watch. As long as you are not watching in a Ted Bundy sorta way.

If you go into a closed room it probably would not be Ok.

I agree. One time the Mrs. was playing with another woman at a house party in a bedroom and they asked me to get my camera from the car. When I returned there were three uninvited single guys in the room watching them. The other husband not being very assertive said nothing, but I said "Hi, I'm her husband. You are? Great, now get out." It was not cool with me or the ladies. Both his wife and mine thanked me afterward.

Mr. WS

Spoomonkey · 07-14-2004, 04:17 PM

Having covered the issue of "out in the open" sex...

Some singles will walk around the party floor at our club trying to find an unlocked door. Completely rude. A closed door is a closed door - and it sucks that I have to think that some creep will walk in on our party without being invited. Needless to say, we lock our door whenever we are playing.

I've watched some guys open the door just a crack and others just walk in like they belong. It's a shame, because some couples do like to be watched and leave the door open, but you have jerks who think an open door is an invitation to a gang bang. They kind of ruin it for the good guys...

You should get a posse together and kick their asses...

Spoomonkey

LikeMinds321 · 07-14-2004, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

. . . The other husband not being very assertive said nothing, but I said "Hi, I'm her husband. You are? Great, now get out." It was not cool with me or the ladies. Both his wife and mine thanked me afterward.

Mr. WS

Glad you were assertive WesternSwing. Just because we swingers engage in sexual activities with others doesn't mean we can lose sight of consideration. Good manners should prevail at a club.

Glad to know you want to do the right thing 4HavNfunHung.

LM

Spoomonkey · 07-14-2004, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

I said "Hi, I'm her husband. You are? Great, now get out."

You've told this tale before and I love it. It is a classic and I can't wait to steal it from you...

Spoomonkey

4HavNfunHung · 07-14-2004, 10:06 PM

Are their windows to some rooms? If so, is it implied that the occupants wished to be viewed if not disturbed?

It’s hard to imagine how it will be or how I'll know what to do. But, I guess learning what to do is partly what this web community is for.

I have a lot to learn because if I were to be at a club or party right now I would be way too concerned the whole time that I was going to miss some sign, or convention. Perhaps the clubs or parties will turn out to be more open than I'm thinking to the point that things will be intuitive and the activity will not feel so much like it has such its own language. Or, perhaps I am so unaware of things, that I would not be able to melt into the scene at all and stand out like a soar thumb because there are tons of subtle signs and conventions and protocol that make it very clear who belongs and who doesn't.

Hmm, guess I got off topic a bit there - pardon me as my ‘thoughts started thinking.’

Thanks for all of the thoughtful and patient responses so far. It kind of takes me by surprise how genuine and kind the people/posts seem to be on this board. This thread for instance could have inspired some sarcasm or condescending, if any would, because it is such a basic question and also shows how new I am. Anyway, guess I just wanted to say something because I've been enjoying this forum - mainly because of the intelligence and kindness of the participants. Well, I'll stop blowing smoke up everyone's ass now and end this response.

Spoomonkey · 07-14-2004, 10:21 PM

The rooms at our club have chains that couples can use when they want to be watched, but not joined. I haven't seen them used yet. When people go public they go really public at our club. As a single guy, just be respectful and friendly - talk to husbands - and keep your eyes open. You'll be fine.

Spoomonkey

WesternSwing · 07-15-2004, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

You've told this tale before and I love it. It is a classic and I can't wait to steal it from you...

Spoomonkey

The right situation just keeps coming up to tell it again!

I am working with my attorney on licensing agreements at this very moment.

Mr. WS

**TNT** · 07-15-2004, 11:15 AM

Depending on what club you are at and what said club's rules are will determine what is appropriate and what is not.

If a door is closed DO NOT open it. Some rooms may have windows with curtains... if the curtain is open then it is assumed it is okay to watch even if the door is closed (still don't open a closed door).

The on-premise clubs we have been to have had open rooms with no doors and anyone was allowed to watch what was going on....However....NEVER touch or try to get involved unless you have been invited to do so or have asked first.

If people are playing around out in the open then they know that people are going to watch.

When attending an on-premise club always ask what the rules are and follow them.

Teresa

Spoomonkey · 07-15-2004, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TNT

NEVER touch or try to get involved unless you have been invited to do so or have asked first.

Let me add that if you ask - wait until you clearly hear the word YES before jumping in or you may loose something precious... Like a tooth or a limb...

Spoomonkey

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07-14-2004, 03:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
4HavNfunHung Has Left the Building Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 38 Location: AZ Status: S.Male - relationship	How do you know when it's ok to watch? I haven't been to a swinger's club but plan to at some point when I know more. Perhaps if I had been to one the answer to this question would be obvious so please forgive me if this question sounds silly. I am curious how a person or a couple know's when it is okay to watch other people/couples engaged in play? Or, would you only watch people that you had been talking to or know prior to them getting started?

07-14-2004, 09:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mr&Mrs-naughty Guest Posts: n/a	Mr here I would assume that if the couple is having sex out in the open in a club then it is OK to watch. As long as you are not watching in a Ted Bundy sorta way. If you go into a closed room it probably would not be Ok.
Mr&Mrs-naughty Guest Posts: n/a

07-14-2004, 10:05 AM	#3 (permalink)
HotCoupleGnS Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 967 Location: Tulsa, OK Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:HotCoupleGnS	Re: How do you know? I think I would agree with what Mr&Mrs-naughty said. Although we have never een to a club yet. I would assume that if a couple is having sex out in the open in front of everyone, that it is ok to watch.

07-14-2004, 02:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,919 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: How do you know? If the couple is having sex out in the open I would think it would be ok to watch, any other time it is considered good manners to ask first.
	__________________ R (He is R, she is P)

07-14-2004, 04:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: How do you know? Having covered the issue of "out in the open" sex... Some singles will walk around the party floor at our club trying to find an unlocked door. Completely rude. A closed door is a closed door - and it sucks that I have to think that some creep will walk in on our party without being invited. Needless to say, we lock our door whenever we are playing. I've watched some guys open the door just a crack and others just walk in like they belong. It's a shame, because some couples do like to be watched and leave the door open, but you have jerks who think an open door is an invitation to a gang bang. They kind of ruin it for the good guys... You should get a posse together and kick their asses... Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

07-14-2004, 10:06 PM	#9 (permalink)
4HavNfunHung Has Left the Building Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 38 Location: AZ Status: S.Male - relationship	Re: How do you know? Are their windows to some rooms? If so, is it implied that the occupants wished to be viewed if not disturbed? It’s hard to imagine how it will be or how I'll know what to do. But, I guess learning what to do is partly what this web community is for. I have a lot to learn because if I were to be at a club or party right now I would be way too concerned the whole time that I was going to miss some sign, or convention. Perhaps the clubs or parties will turn out to be more open than I'm thinking to the point that things will be intuitive and the activity will not feel so much like it has such its own language. Or, perhaps I am so unaware of things, that I would not be able to melt into the scene at all and stand out like a soar thumb because there are tons of subtle signs and conventions and protocol that make it very clear who belongs and who doesn't. Hmm, guess I got off topic a bit there - pardon me as my ‘thoughts started thinking.’ Thanks for all of the thoughtful and patient responses so far. It kind of takes me by surprise how genuine and kind the people/posts seem to be on this board. This thread for instance could have inspired some sarcasm or condescending, if any would, because it is such a basic question and also shows how new I am. Anyway, guess I just wanted to say something because I've been enjoying this forum - mainly because of the intelligence and kindness of the participants. Well, I'll stop blowing smoke up everyone's ass now and end this response.

07-14-2004, 10:21 PM	#10 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: How do you know? The rooms at our club have chains that couples can use when they want to be watched, but not joined. I haven't seen them used yet. When people go public they go really public at our club. As a single guy, just be respectful and friendly - talk to husbands - and keep your eyes open. You'll be fine. Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

07-15-2004, 11:15 AM	#12 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,003 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:tblonde312	Re: How do you know? Depending on what club you are at and what said club's rules are will determine what is appropriate and what is not. If a door is closed DO NOT open it. Some rooms may have windows with curtains... if the curtain is open then it is assumed it is okay to watch even if the door is closed (still don't open a closed door). The on-premise clubs we have been to have had open rooms with no doors and anyone was allowed to watch what was going on....However....NEVER touch or try to get involved unless you have been invited to do so or have asked first. If people are playing around out in the open then they know that people are going to watch. When attending an on-premise club always ask what the rules are and follow them. Teresa
	__________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

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