Question about clubs ... What to expect?

[JandCMI]

We are very curious about the lifestyle and from reading on the boards here, general concensus names swinger clubs to be a very good way to meet people.

Our dilemma: We both dance like Jabba the Hut and neither one of us are "partyers" (ie, don't drink) in any sense of the word.
Our question: Generally speaking, given our relaxed attitudes, what can we expect from a swinger club? I know this question has been asked here before but I am curious from the non-drinkers' standpoint.

I guess the other question we have is, do regular clubgoers recognize newbies at clubs and make an effort welcome them/introduce them to others or is this sort of thing reserved for "ice-breaker" games?

[sexypairca]

As newbies ourselves, we wondered the same thing before going to our first club. We have been to two different clubs (both off-premise) and I found them to be a relaxed environment.

The first had ice breaker games and everyone only participated to the extent that they were comfortable with. The second had host couples that would introduce you to other couples if you were interested. Everyone wore name tags but ours had something different on them so that everyone knew that we had not been there before. This was a nice conversation starter.

Don't worry that you don't drink- coffee bottled water etc. was fairly common. As far as the dancing goes, you don't need to be on the dance floor to meet new people.

Personally I found the clubs to be inviting and would go back any time. Good luck and have fun.

"A" the newbie wife.

[sccple29073]

hi,
Well I am a newbie myself, but i think it all depends on what kinda club you go to. There are a few membership clubs that usually have a new-comer orientation before the actual party. Also as far as drinking I have seen a lot of clubs that are either b.y.o.b or do not allow alcholic beverages on premises at all. Those that due allow it, frown on heavy drinking.

Good Luck and have fun

[danc694u]

Originally posted by JandCMI:
<STRONG>Our dilemma: We both dance like Jabba the Hut and neither one of us are "partyers" (ie, don't drink) in any sense of the word. </STRONG>

Welcome to the real world. A world without professional teachers of dance. We're not "great" by any measure of the stick, but we still go. Drinking is optional for us. But, we do tend to have a few while attending. But not always.

<STRONG>
I guess the other question we have is, do regular clubgoers recognize newbies at clubs and make an effort welcome them/introduce them to others...snipped...</STRONG>

I (David) try to meet as many newbies as I can spot. I also try to introduce them around to the other couples we know, with the host & hostess being the first people I introduce them to.

It can be very difficult for long time members to keep up with faces though. We've met people that have attended as long as we have, but never saw before. Maybe they hide in a corner most of the time?? So don't count on people showing you around, unless there is a "newbie" mixer prior to the event. But, don't hide either. Introduce yourselves around..to anyone who will smile and say hi in return.

[JustAskJulie]

The good news is that you are in a good area for clubs and swinging. There are usually 2 or more parties to choose from on any given weekend down that way (and that's just the off-premise social type things).

We just went to the Apple last weekend and had a great time. I was a little worried myself about going mainly for my husbands sake. I love to dance, he doesn't. But the place was great. We went with two other couples that we are good friends with, one of which doesn't drink at all (so he was our DD and drank water all night). My hubby did get up and dance a few times. But there was no pressure to. There were a ton of people and there's no way they would have all fit on the dance floor (which was pretty crowded most of the night). The people overall were quite friendly and as the night wore on outfits got skimpier and skimpier.

The Apple is a little different than most dances in the Detroit area in that they don't advertise at all. Any new couple that comes in has to be sponsored by a current member couple. With that in mind it seemed like it was up to our sponsor couple to try to introduce us to new people. I think that case tho, there were just way too many people there for anyone to have any idea of who is new or not (talking about 200 couples).

Check the different clubs out down there. There are some smaller ones if you don't like the big crowds. There are several listed in our club listings here and 2 or 3 more that don't list (for the same reason as the Apple).

If all else fails, hopefully we'll at least see you at the Swingers Board party this summer

[JandCMI]

Thanks for the replies!

We found a club in the club listings that is local for us and will definately look into it. I guess the main problem on my part is mustering up the gall to go to our first club. After reading lots of posts here, including replies to our original post, I get the impression the atmospheres are relaxed and not very constricting. I hope this is the case.

Also, we were thinking about posting an ad in the ads section of the website to perhaps aid us in locating a newbie couple in the area to explore getting into the lifestyle together. I know from reading lots of posts that the credibility of ads can be questionable, but we figure its worth a try.

BTW, Julie, if the board party is in the Detroit area, we will be there

J (the guy)

[ 03-15-2002: Message edited by: JandCMI ]

[BiloxiCouple]

Bumping this up.

[tittietwister]

No need for concern. Dancing is not required although slow dancing is the least challenging and most can do. People don't know what you're drinking so don't worry about that.

Our favorite club give newbies a red bordered name tag so the hosts and regulars can identify them and offer extra support and help if they see a need. We were so scared our first time that we hung with a very nice host couple most of the evening. They took some heat for spending so much time with us but we were sure to offset that with positive comments regarding their job performance to the owners. We're regulars now.

We also recommend using the clubs as a meeting ground for couples you want to meet from SLS or elsewhere. For you I suggest this:

On SLS look at the events listing for the club you want. Then look at who is attending. Browse the profiles and find a couple or two you would like to meet. Email them and say Hi, we like your profile and we see you will be at the XYZ club on whatever date and we would like to meet you. We've never had an invitation like that refused. Boom, instant social contacts and they will probably have been to the club before and can introduce you to others and tell you about other venues. If you're lucky you will click with them, have some great playtime and meet new people through them.