Club Cliques

[JustAskJulie]

One thing I notice a lot in posting reviews is that it seems like in many areas there are cliques between the different clubs.

You will see the same person post a good review of one club then immideately post a bad review of a competing club in the area. Granted in some situations it may be that one club is a good bit better than another but when you see this over and over again you tend to see trends. One bad review on a club followed by 10 good reviews to "bury" the bad one and so on.

I think the worst I've seen is one club that actually gave the press info so that they could sneak into a competing club, which resulted in an "undercover" reporting escapade that just about shut down the club, and caused problems for clubs in the surrounding areas.

So for those of you who do regularly visit clubs, what is your take on the club cliques? Do you find that others look down on you if you don't go to "their" club? Do you choose to not swing with people based on what club they belong to? Do you hear rumors about nearby clubs and base your judgements on them? Or do you actually make an effort to visit each club and form your own opinion?

[TNT]

Having clubs/members bad mouthing each other in my opinion is a little childish. The swinging community gets enough bad press just by it being what it is that we don’t need to be fighting amongst ourselves. If anything we need to be supporting each other in what ever way we can.

There are no clubs in our immediate area. We do have two socials that occur on a regular basis. They are not in the same town but are close enough that people in either town could travel to the other. One happens every month, the other every other month, and never on the same nights. We go to both. There are others that also attend both and there are some who will only go to one and state they don’t like the other. When someone makes a bad comment about either social, we usually ask what the problem was and if they talked to the host/hostess about it. We have never had a problem at either place and as far as I know, neither social has a problem with the other. In fact, the one that occurs every other month places flyers out for events that the one that happens every month has.

We are lucky enough that we have been able to attend numerous different clubs in numerous different states and honestly have never come across a bad one. They are all different but no matter where you go you always meet fun and interesting people and it has been our experience that those who complain are usually bringing their bad experiences on themselves. You get out of a club/social experience what you are willing to put into it.

We don’t care what anyone thinks about us based on what club we attend, we don’t base whether or not we play with them on what club they attend and we always make our on judgement on a club based on our experience there.

Teresa

[yawanna]

This is why we stepped out of the 'club scene' for the time being. Interestingly..this shit only happens with 'clubs' that have online interactive sites, for example, chat rooms. I think we all know how cliquey those can become!

Our decision to stick with private meetings and events for the meanwhile was solidified when one teary wife told me of her experience at one of the newer clubs. They offered a Meet and Greet for the chatters and had a sign in board..you could sign in with your online nickname. They were chastised for having an online nickname that was similar to an online ostracized couple. Online world (one dimensional) crossed over in a bad way to Real Time.

We are lucky, I guess, that by living in the largest city in Canada we have several long time clubs that don't offer online services and are stalwarts of the swinging community. Those are the clubs we can attend and have a truly swinger community experience at. No politics, no chat rooms, no competing with other clubs, they just 'are'.

the others? well..... they are presently posting and chatting on their competitors sites with rather deragatory comments. Not something we care to participate in or be a part of, directly or indirectly by association aka attending those clubs.

Comments began to circulate about 'fuglies' and 'beautiful people only' (something I've posted about previously). We much prefer to spend our time and $$ with established swinger communities that haven't been drawn into competition. As someone here's sig line states... it's all fun until someone makes it a competition.

Swinging isn't competitive, or at least, there is no reason for it to be that way. It's all about choice and good times, right? There's enough emotional stuff to wade through and sort out without having the club operators and their clientelle making themselves into another 'issue'.

[good times]

In our area there are three on premise clubs. Two of them are pretty good and we have gone to both. The third has such a poor reputation that we have never atended it. Last weekend we met a couple from out of town at our regular club that had first went to the one with the not so stellar reputation. They said they couldn't get out of there fast enough. As this is pretty typical of what we often here about that club, I think we will pass on going there. As far as the other two clubs go we haven't noticed any cliqueish behaviour. As I said, we have been to both, and while we do like one better than the other we wouldn't hold it against anyone if they didn't feel the same.

[Weezie]

Yawanna is so right in saying that swinging shouldn't be competitive. There should be no competition between clubs that basically have a common interest nor should there be any competition between the people that attend these clubs. We started out going to the only club close enough to us. We no longer attend that club, but now we drive 2 hours away to a monthly social. We are much happier with the environment at the social. They have even worked out a deal with the on premise club right around the corner from the hotel where the social is held so we can go there for an "after party". There is no competition because we are all there to have a good time. None of the women feel like they have to win a contest for the month. The pressure is off and I'm happier, smiling more, meeting more people, making more friends....which leads to more sex.
When we do meet people that go to the club we used to go to, we are honest and tell them why we don't go anymore. That's our opinion and we tell them to go if they enjoy it, but "we won't be able to meet you there".

[De and Ci]

The club we attend, it was bad-mouthed on its forum. No so much because of the quality of patrons. But stuff like parking issues, area of town, seating arrangements, etc.. I spoke to the owner about it-he says he's sure it was from a competing club. Now I suspect a lot of the bad mouthing on chats and such is from competing clubs. That is so chickenshit-but I guess since there is always people who will stoop so low to make a buck-not much you can do about it.

There are 2 big clubs in our area, One of them has a casual dress code-they are considered to have less attractive patrons. The other has stricter dress code-considered to have more attractive patrons. Been to both and would have to agree-but some of the patrons at both clubs were the exception. However, I have never heard anyone say "oooo!-you went to that club-what kind of person are you?" or anything else equally idiotic. As a matter of fact, this one overweight but sexy woman we met at the "better club"-who we thought was fun to be around with and had good time with her at an afterparty said she was going stick with the other club cause she felt uncomfortable about her weight. I guess overweight people can be cliquish too. Or that in swinger environment-couples are only comfortable around other couples who they think they measure up to in terms of attractiveness. sigh! Oh well!