Conversation Starters

[JustAskJulie]

Ok, you are at a club and you just walked up and introduce yourself to a new couple (or vice versa) and now what?

You are sitting across from a new couple and dinner and there is silence.... how do you get things going?

What are some no-fail conversation starters? To get people talking. How do you keep the conversation moving with new people or do you even try?

[SoCalCouple66]

Good question...we could use some advice too...we have never been to a club like that. We are interested in checking one out but wouldn't know where to start.

R&K

[newgentry]

We usually try the real generic, innocuous stuff like "where are you from" "how often do you come here" "great weather we're having, isn't it?" and other pithy questions like that . HA. Seriously, that usually gets at least some semblance of a conversation going and before too long we're usually chatting about jobs, kids, whatever.

[LikeMinds321]

Starting up a conversation can be tough.

I usually choose something from my surroundings to comment on: food, drink, decor, people, music, art... "Isn't this Hallmark card display well lit?" (I only use that when I'm shopping at Target and standing next to an appealing man or woman in the isle.)

Sometimes just saying "Hi" and looking the other person in the eye with a smile on your face can get them to open up.

Mrs. LM

[mrs good times]

After introductions I usually give a compliment on the ladies outfit and ask where she bought it, us girls can talk for hours about clothes and shoes. Other things are, have you been to this club before? Where are you from (we have lots of tourist)?

[biblonde]

i guess i am a lucky one..I love to talk so it is easy. I talk about anything that comes to mind and if it gets quiet i change the subject and just keep talking. We usually meet couple we have talked to online so before we meet i already know what some of their likes and hobbies are so it makes it easyer. I suggest bring up stuff you like or know about. Hobbies are always a good thing because you will find alot of people have the same ones or are interested in learning about yours!
good luck and have lots of fun!!

[tazzie_n_truck]

For us, we don't go to swing clubs, but when we start talking with couples on-line and want to start the conversation, we just mainly start off by saying hi, and introducing ourselves, and just starting conversation to get to know each other, before we talk about sex and swinging, we feel that we want to get to know each other as people first. But mainly talk about where we live, our ages, and other interests like music, and things of that nature.

[SluttyWife]

If I find her attractive in any sort of way...(which in our club, 99.5% of the time I do) I often take a very forward approach and pat the seat next to me. Just about every time she smiles wide and sidles up next to me. Then I put my arm around her or hold her hand and we go from there.

"I'm Isla..."
"Did you just get back from dinner?"

and I go from there...asking questions and asking questions
and trading info, likes and dislikes.

Inevitably we always land on the "What do you do?" question.
And that's where I come out and say..."I'm Slutty Wife on the Internet." Laughs follow and the ice is broken.

I looove meeting new people and often spend my evenings
hopping from lap to lap in this fashion.

Mwah ;-*

[wrnakedru]

The 'experts' say that if you are attempting to strike up a conversation, never ask a question that can be answered 'yes' or 'no', and doesn't provide a broad enough foundation. My ex learned that gem in a management seminar regarding interviewing prospective employees. He created his own version of a springboard question for that purpose, but also enjoyed using it when we encountered a new [to us] couple at a party or in an off-premises club.

His opening line of "So, do you live around here or ride a bicycle?" usually resulted in first the mouth opening to answer, and then - a long pause as his words sunk in. If nothing else, this got a laugh - which always is a tension easer - and it also often got ME a lot of sympathy/empathy since I was married to this rather odd fellow!

He had grown up in a beach town, so summers provided a lucrative assortment of short term sexual adventures with little thought given to establishing common ground. He said that asking "Do you like apples?" [since it invariably got a positive response] brought his reply of "Good, me too - wanna fuck?"

Hubby and I attend a monthly dinner social for 40+ couples which begins with a standup and mingle cocktail hour. I found this to be an extremely difficult venue for conversation - the crowd is so large, and it's not always the same folks over and over again. So many seem to react as if their privacy is being threatened if you ask the standard opening questions you might use in a 'vanilla' situation; [where do you live, what kind of work do you do, do you have kids.] That sort of thing makes the more paranoid feel like you're trying to get enough on them for blackmail.

I've started using my own spin of the ex's "Do you like apples?" question. I follow up with "Well, there's one thing we have in common besides attending this dinner social .... what else do you think we might we find we have in common?" Always with an open, flirty but friendly smile - - and it has allowed me to find out things I will remember the next time I might see these folks. It has brought about some good banter with folks that are quite interesting and think well on their feet!

It's also helped me get curious how well some might think in other positions than that!!

WR

[Roxysbayou]

Outside of the usual where are you from?, etc. We have found that we talk about others from our pay site that we have seen or chatted with from time to time. Kind of a comparison, or a can you believe that they did this, or were with them sort of a thing. Kind of catty I know, but we have some pretty interesting people in our area, to say the least.

Roxy http://mysmilies.ipbfree.com/s/contr...lowerkitty.gif

[RedRobin]

I haven't had the club experience yet, so I can't respond to that specific topic, but as a rule, I've never had any problem talking to anyone in any circumstance so I can't see that I would change in that environment.

I'm one of these that can always find something to talk about and only on the rarest of occasions have I encountered people that don't respond. People like to talk about themselves, their work, their ideas, news features, food likes and dislikes, vacations, pets (oh! yes! pets! dogs, cats, birds, snakes, lizards - doesn't matter), children, phone service, price of groceries (and gas currently) and the list just goes on and on. On the very rare occasions I meet someone I just can't stimulate to conversation, I figure they aren't the type of people for me anyway.

I've only met a few couples for dinner and drinks, but haven't had any bad conversation experiences. Maybe a tad tense initially given the purpose of the meeting, but after about 5 minutes, things just seem to flow along.

This reminded me of something off subject. I used to date a fellow (note the past tense) whose main complaint about me (main? one of many complaints!) was that I "knew" everyone. Checkers in the stores, dry cleaning lady, guy at the gas station. That sort of thing. Yeah. I do. And that's bad?

RedRobin

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by mrs good times

After introductions I usually give a compliment on the ladies outfit and ask where she bought it, us girls can talk for hours about clothes and shoes. Other things are, have you been to this club before? Where are you from (we have lots of tourist)?

This has become one of the top two ways that we manage to introduce ourselves to people at the club. The other thing we try to do is watch for newbies (it's obvious when someone is new to the club and getting the tour). Once they are done with the tour and we see them either settle down at a table or if we see them standing to the side as if looking for a table we will go over and introduce ourselves and just welcome them to the club, and let them know how much we enjoy the club. If they don't seem to act like they wish we'd go away we will then ask them if this is their first club and what their experience is.

At our local social, there are fewer people and since we know a few couples we are more likely to split up. A few times I've grabbed a female half of another couple and left the guys alone while we go around and try to greet the folks we don't know. If that seems to go well enough with any particular couple that I think we (my Pet and I) might actually want to get to know them better I'll drag him back to them and introduce him.