Got to the club but couldn't go in

[Spoomonkey]

I have to say - the fact that you know Lucy's last name is incredible... Kinda wonderfully geeky, but incredible...

I can do about half of the dances from the dancing scene in "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown." That keeps folks entertained at work. But pulling out the "Lucy Van Pelt" trumps even my best "Franklin Dance."

Spoomonkey

[GirlieZ]

Originally posted by Spoomonkey
I have to say - the fact that you know Lucy's last name is incredible... Kinda wonderfully geeky, but incredible...

I can do about half of the dances from the dancing scene in "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown." That keeps folks entertained at work. But pulling out the "Lucy Van Pelt" trumps even my best "Franklin Dance."

Spoomonkey

Thank you! I love the Peanuts! It is what came to mind as I was reading his posts. I am well known for my "off the wall" sense of humor. I also happen to love being known as a wonderfully geeky girl...thank you for that compliment!

I love that dance scene...where they are all dancin in one room around Schroeder's piano. I hardly believe that you being able to dance that dance is trumpable by a Lucy VanPelt. Doin that dance is a loner hand!

You rock!

[bear_n_bunny]

Originally posted by meowkittyhascla
We have never been to a club and now I know why. We were invited to a "party" with a couple and accepted the invitation. When we got there, it was us, the other couple and five other guys. We were not told it was a gang bang. We were under the impression there would be other couples. Hubby was very uncomfortable with the idea of sharing a woman with five other guys. He prefers one on one. We left quickly and talked about it on the way home. We both decided we would rather have more private encounters. We don't want to be totally involved with a couple, however, we are more comfortable with couples and more privacy.
I on the other hand am more adventuresome, but I respect his limits and am totally supportive of his needs. I think couples really need to discuss these things and know each others comfort zones. This is just my opinion.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but whoever invited you to that "party" should be taken out and shot (although what this has to do with whether or not you go to a club escapes me, as it looks like apples and oranges in this case).

Sure, "gang bangs" happen, and there are some women who really get off on such scenes. But you NEVER invite someone to ANY swinger party, let alone a damned gang bang, without telling them first. That is inexcusable.

-- Bear

[bear_n_bunny]

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty
Posted by Bear:



Sorry to hear that. I have not found that to be the case but everyone is different.

Count your blessings, because if you keep it up, you WILL get bit on the ass one of these days...

-- Bear

[bear_n_bunny]

Originally posted by De and Ci
GirlieZ,

Sorry for berating you and I'm glad your hubby was understanding and not a "selfish dickweed" like I'm supposed to be. But its really easy to give warm and fuzzy advice. I was just expressing how I would have felt in that situation-whether I'm right or wrong.
Years ago, I had a girlfriend who was married-she and a guy who was also married, agreed to go a motel for some booty, They made it to the bed and he backed out at last moment-got scared and said they shouldn't do this. She was pissed-said he led her on, etc.. Yes he had every right to say no and what they were doing wasn't right. But he shouldn't have led her on like that. To be honest, I was single at the time and ended up banging her-that was wrong, But it would also be wrong for me If I had misled her

Say what you mean and mean what you say

In another post, you complained about being "taken out of context", yet that is exactly what you are doing here. When I used the "selfish dickweed" term, at no point were you mentioned anywhere in the post. My point was and remains that if ANY guy rags on his S.O., who is just starting out in swinging (a major life state change in and of itself) he's being an insensitive jerk, period.

On the other hand, if the shoe fits...

When someone is moving into "unknown territory", regardless of the circumstances, it is not unusual for him/her to have second thoughts at some point, especially early on. That's human nature, and to "vent" on someone for having a normal human reaction is, in my not-so-humble opinion, rude and insensitive. Deal with it.

But that goes for ANYBODY, and you are not being singled out.

-- Bear

[De and Ci]

Originally posted by bear_n_bunny
My point was and remains that if ANY guy rags on his S.O., who is just starting out in swinging (a major life state change in and of itself) he's being an insensitive jerk, period.

-- Bear

Gosh, I thought you had me in mind about the dickweed stuff. I feel so much better. I was just ragging on Girlie because I thought she was being a total wuss. I get your your point and I apologized to Girlie for being so mean to her. I assume they were just going to check out a couple's club-I'm sure her husband was just curious and wanted to check out the place had no plans for any swappin'. That's a far cry from "getting started in swinging"

As far as that poor couple who was invited to that "couple's" party that turned out to be a gang bang attempt-that was totally uncool and they should have a good "talking-to" to the shithead/s who invited them.

GirlieZ, I thought I made myself clear in my earlier ramblings. A couple's club (off premise), Is just like a regular club-people dancing, sitting around the tables-shootin' the shit, you will see some women taking their tops off, and a little smooching, discrete petting, no open sex, no depraved lunatics. Probably a big variety of music since the club is not catering to a specific musical taste, and so on. If you go-you will have fun and will wonder why you were making such a fuss before. I hope I made myself clear.

[GirlieZ]

Originally posted by De and Ci
Gosh, I thought you had me in mind about the dickweed stuff. I feel so much better. I was just ragging on Girlie because I thought she was being a total wuss. I get your your point and I apologized to Girlie for being so mean to her. I assume they were just going to check out a couple's club-I'm sure her husband was just curious and wanted to check out the place had no plans for any swappin'. That's a far cry from "getting started in swinging"

As far as that poor couple who was invited to that "couple's" party that turned out to be a gang bang attempt-that was totally uncool and they should have a good "talking-to" to the shithead/s who invited them.

GirlieZ, I thought I made myself clear in my earlier ramblings. A couple's club (off premise), Is just like a regular club-people dancing, sitting around the tables-shootin' the shit, you will see some women taking their tops off, and a little smooching, discrete petting, no open sex, no depraved lunatics. Probably a big variety of music since the club is not catering to a specific musical taste, and so on. If you go-you will have fun and will wonder why you were making such a fuss before. I hope I made myself clear.

<sigh>head bang

Have you ever "wussed out" over anything?

And when you did, did you appreciate someone making you feel less than important and stupid for feeling a bit "wussy"?

You have no idea what my husband's intentions were...for all you know he was planning on going in hoping to "bang" every woman in the place.

Actually De and Ci it wasn't your "ramblings" that explained anything at all about what "swing clubs" are all about. I believe that Bear N Bunny explained all that. Now the club that we were planning to attend was an On Premise club~~a tad bit different than the club you describe above.

What are your experiences at swing clubs, De and Ce? Enlighten me...I'm intrigued about what you would have to say.

Zgirl

[yawanna]

Aside from the fact that GirlieZ stated it was an on premise club,which btw only adds to her understandable feelings of consternation, this

A couple's club (off premise), Is just like a regular club-people dancing, sitting around the tables-shootin' the shit, you will see some women taking their tops off, and a little smooching, discrete petting, no open sex, no depraved lunatics. Probably a big variety of music since the club is not catering to a specific musical taste, and so on. If you go-you will have fun and will wonder why you were making such a fuss before.

helps no one. Many have posted about their first time at a swinger club, on or off premise, and many have sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes and then driven off. Only to try again another time. Once they get in, yes, usually the fears dissipate. You can't tell someone that a total unknown will be safe and fun. Nor should they be expected to walk in to the club regardless of their feelings.

Many of us say 'trust your gut instinct' and if your gut says 'I'm REALLY uncomfortable and don't want to go through with this'
... then ya gotta listen to that. No one has a right to fault you for doing what is best for you at the time.

Once again.. this isn't Fear Factor.

[De and Ci]

GirlieZ,

Yes, Im sure I've wussed out of something.

Go to First Swing and Other Couples Issues That was a post documenting our first ever swing type experience.

I stand by what I said about your husband unless there is some heavy shit your not tellin' us. Even if your husband wants to bang every woman in the place-it ain't gonna happen. Best analogy is a hoppin' night club, lots of guys and girls are there wanting to get laid-but you gotta talk to them, be charming, then ask if she/he wants to go to your place. A swing club is similiar. You got there, a couple or group may introduce themselves, you talk to them, joke around, share drinks, dance, and so on. If one couple thinks the other is interested-They say something like "you want to come to our house and party", I've learned that "party" is euphemism for "group sex". You say yeah-lets go or "we're tired and just going to go home and sleep but thanks" . Lots of couples don't intend to swing, they just go and make out with each other, play under the table and so on. Experienced couples will spot a nervous newbie a mile away and most likely they won't be approached.

We go to off-premise regularly. We went to on-premise once, It was similiar but they had private rooms in the back and they also didn't have dance floor, we thought it was lame. We didnt see any open sex but that probably varies by club.

Hope this helps

[Sonja&Brett]

We've only been to two on premise swing clubs and loved both. Freedom Acres is the club we attend the most. Both Sonja and I agree that the people at FA are very respectful of your space. Of course we can't speak for every club, but our experience has been wonderful.