Difference between reality and expectations at first club visit

[Titon]

Hello all, been quite a while since i posted here.

I just have a simple question for all you club veterans, .

In your first club appearence what were you looking for and what actually happened? I'm not actually looking for stories just a look into how your first time in a club worked it's way out.

If you were looking for soft swing, basically just wanting to watch and play with your spouse or did you end up getting more than you expected?

Just curious. My wife and i are thinking about attending Trapeze in Ft. Lauderdale next month but we have never been to a club before. Just looking for some feedback on everyone's adventures in there first club experience.

[passion8]

Well we really remember the butterflies we had in our stomachs during the day of our first club visit. All we hoped for was:
That we wouldn't find the club to be a "seedy joint", which it definitely wasn't.
That the people wouldn't be pushy, they wern't.
That we'd enjoy the disco part - better than any vanilla club, but then this club had over 300 people in it, almost everyone under 40, we couldn't believe it.
We wanted to see if we could have sex with people watching, we could

[Titon]

Thanks passion8 for your reply.

So in that first club experience did you initiate conversation with others or did alot of people approach you?

Plus where did you guys first go? Did it happen to be Trapeze?

Thanks again.

[passion8]

No it wasn't Trapeze, it was in Belgium! That made conversation a little more difficult, but the first thing we did when we got there was to sit down to dinner and we were joined by probably the oldest couple there! They said they didn't swing and we enjoyed their company as they explained what the club was like and what we should do/expect.

[lookin_forfun65]

Our first time in a club was the Red Rooster in Vegas. We went on a slow night, everyone was nice. We were a little unnerved by the attention of the single males. When we told them no, they respected our decision though. We went back later in the week, and stayed in the couples area. We didn't hook up that night either, we were still a little nervous.

So, what I consider our first real time was at Trapeze in Atlanta. We of course had the butterflies, but soon felt comfortable. There was a lady there who wanted to get everyone in a partying mood. She was coming out and taking people out onto the dance floor. We gradually made our way back to the "no clothing allowed" section, and felt comfortable. In the lockerroom, we met 3 other couples who were there for their first time, so we kind of stuck together and ended up in the group room for a little bit of fun. We clicked with one couple and went back to their motel room with them and partied for a few more hours.

The club met/exceeded our expectations. Not seedy at all, the buffet was nice, the staff very nice and accomodating, great music, small but adequate dance floor. We'll most definitely be back.

Enjoy your first time!

[Rob]

My first time at a club was in Dayton, Ohio in I think 1999 or 2000. I was very nervous but the people there made me feel very welcome. I met a nice couple, we chatted for about an hour, but nothing more happened. I was then invited into a private room to watch another couple. Later in the evening, I met two girls who were there together and had a FMF 3some with them. It was a wonderful experience. I found out the best thing to do when going to a club for the first time is just be yourself.

[Titon]

Thanks guys for all your responses. It's really appreciated.



So for the most part i guess the first time everyone is mainly an abserver. I guess that's the category that we'll be in unless something or someone just has that certain appeal. Is this the case with most of you? Or did you go in with a basic open mind that what happens will happen?

[ny newbie]

This is a timely thread for us! We are visiting our first club next month, Club Colette in New Orleans. We are hoping for some mfm playing our first visit, not to just observe. Can anyone give suggestions on how to let a gentleman know we are interested? Also, if anyone has been to this club and can give input, that would be great too! Thanks!

[Rob]

Hey NY
Colette is the classiest club Ive ever been to. I dare say it has to be one of the nicest ones in the country. It attracts a fairly upscale group of clients.
I met a couple there that was very nice. The approached me as I sat on one of the couches having a drink. If you see a guy you think you'd like, go up and talk to him. After all, we all know what we're there for, right?
Good luck and have fun.
Rob

[Titon]

Question for you club veterans, do you see alot of single bi women approaching couples? Or are there more single males within these clubs.

[fun_pairTX]

Originally posted by Titon
Question for you club veterans, do you see alot of single bi women approaching couples? Or are there more single males within these clubs.

Now ya are REALLY fishing. There will always be a ratio of 20+ single males to every single female attempting to try out the lifestyle. If there is a single bi female in a club expect to find her at the center of what appears to be a Busby Berkley hollywood production number from the 30's. We play with a couple of different SBF's, the only way to find one is the old fashioned way, time and patience. There is no quick route.

[remox]

Ah yes, the quest for the ever so popular Bi-Sexual Single Female......

Here are some of the reasons why you are going to have difficulty finding one.....

1) Guys are looking for single girls.

2) Couples are looking for single girls.

3) Girls are looking for single girls.

So, they are "snapped up" very quickly.

4) Most single girls don't frequent sex clubs, because they might be unsafe.

5) Most single girls don't frequent sex clubs, because of the social stigmata of being considered a "slut".

6) Most single girls don't frequent sex clubs, because they can get laid anywhere.

So there aren't many to begin with.

7) You may not be attracted to the single girl you find.

8) Your partner may not be attracted to the single girl you find.

9) The girl may not find you attractive.

10) The girl may not find your partner attractive.

11) She might be STRAIGHT.

12) She might be a LESBIAN.

Provided you find a single girl, personal chemistry and how you all present yourselves will have a lot to do with it.

This doesn't mean you cannot or will not find one ...EVENTUALLY. But you are unlikely to just walk in and there she is, HOT, READY, AND WAITING JUST FOR THE 2 OF YOU!

With all of that being said, there are Single Bi-Sexual Women in this lifestyle, most of whom are fabulous people. Best of luck to you and enjoy yourselves and each other no matter what you find or where you are.

[WA_Cple]

Our first club experience was... hmmm... unexpected?! We were in Australia on holiday (hubby is Aussie) and we decided to check out a club that was listed on this site. We were prepared in every way... excited... happy... ready to go. Then we walked in the door and the gentleman at the door said - here is the key to your locker and here is your towel. I said, "towel?" and he said - yes everyone in the club wears only a towel. I immediately freaked out - I mean... gosh... it just seemed too fast for me (silly I know but...) if he had told me - here is the key to your locker and dress down to your undies or change into your lingerie - that would have been OK - but a towel?! So we thanked him and left.

Is this normal for clubs in the US? We are going to New Orleans next week and we were thinking of checking out Club Collette but now I'm a bit nervous about the TOWELS! hehe

So my first club experience didn't get past the door... *sigh* oh well!

[remox]

On-pre-mise clubs come in 2 varieties (and I am not talking about the building type) European style and American style.

The "towel" is part of the American Style club culture. Meaning that the rules of the club dictate that to enter the areas where intimacy are allowed you must disrobe, and the towel is the maximum amount of clothing allowed. In some clubs the towel is also used as a surface/barrier on which you can be intimate without the staff having to then come and change linens. Many clubs feel that the mandate to disrobe is an equalizing factor, and many clubgoers like it because you can more effectively "window shop". (From personal experience I will say that, parties in which the attendees start with less clothing do become sexually active quicker.) There are variations on the american style club that do things such as allowing clothing until as certain time and then you must disrobe. Contact the club in advance to find out what there rules/expectations are.


European style clubs allow you to remain clothed wherever you would like for as long as you like. A European style club is often less intimidating to newcomers.

It sounds like you went to an American style club that happened to be located in Australia. Most likely there is a european style club closer to home.

[good times]

Say what? I've been to a few American clubs but I've never heard of the towel thing.

R