Do the regulars size up the newbies?

[saranmark]

Okay, folks, be patient with me please. I am sure that this has been asked before, but I am going to ask again. (Sorry...)

Mark and I have been considering going to a club. I have seen the different types (on premise and off) being discussed here, but that really isn't my question.

My question is: The folks that frequent these clubs are probably regulars, correct? So when we show up, it will be like being the new folks walking into a small church. Everyone is going to be sizing us up, watching us, etc. What will be expected of us? What should we wear? I don't even know what to WEAR!

We don't even know if we will want to participate when we get there, we only know for sure that we will enjoy the sex charged atmosphere. I don't know the proper etiquette for a club, etc.

Can someone help us out? Thank you in advance!

Best,
SARA

[Brit_Pair]

A very similar question to yours was asked quite recently:

Club Scene

[sexypairca]

I would agree that the majority of clubs have a regular group that attend. There are also many people that go once in a while or just to check it out. I would get in touch with the club of your choice ahead of time and inquire what type of "services" they offer to first timers. Some clubs will have host couples that will introduce you around, others have mixer games that encourage mingling amonst the crowd. In my opinion mixer games can be a great ice breaker to just walk up and introduce yourself to someone that catches your eye .

Most clubs also tend to have a theme for the night. Dressing in theme is always safe but not necessary. If the club has a website look for a theme that might interest you and that could be a starting point for deciding what to wear. Always wear something that you feel comfortable in, if you feel sexy others will notice.

Participation with others is optional. There is nothing wrong with spending the evening with your S/O flirting and dancing the night way. The #1 rules is NO means No, and it applies to everyone.

Smile, be friendly and enjoy the evening.

Annette

[saranmark]

Thank you Annette, for your advice. I know it must take patience to keep advising "newbies" like us on things like this!

Brit_Pair, thank you for the link to the similar thread. They did ask almost the same thing I did. I thought I had come across it awhile back, but I couldn't remember where.

Thank you again, and enjoy your weekend!
SARA

[Elusive BiFem]

It never hurts to have same/similar questions asked again, I don't think. With new people joining all the time, there are always new and different views, experiences, and opinions to be shared. And with the thousands of posts here, you might grow old (like me ) ) reading through all of them. That's what makes this a great Board. -EBF

[JMR]

Nothing is expected of you when you go to a club. Everyone was a "first timer" at some point. No one has ever stared or given me looks at a club. The first club we went to was in lansing, and me and the wife decided to go on Holloween. It was great alot of people were dressed up and she won a prize for her HO costume. (i was a pimp) so it was alot of fun and weve been hooked ever since. And one other little note we are still "newbies" and weve been around the scene for two years now. So dont feel pressured that u have to do anything or that anyone expects anything from you.

[JustAskJulie]

Wear what you feel most comfortable in. If you are comfortable then you will feel more confident and better able to deal with being "the new kids".

People will treat you one of two ways:

1. As Fresh Meat - you are new and many will want to get to know you for that very reason.

2. As Newbies - they worry that not only are you new to this club but you are new to swinging and therefore don't want to pressure you... that thought in mind they go the opposite direction and avoid you altogether.

The best thing you can do is to go and just be comfortable being together. Talk to those that interest you (whether they approach you first or not). Have your boundaries set in advance and stick to them. If it's an off-premise club and you decide ahead of time that when the party is over you are going home (no questions) then go home when the party's over (not to someone's room for an after-party).