To Club or not to Club for beginners

[pammyjgcurious]

I'm not sure if we should go to a club or not. It sounds interesting. Anyone have any pros or cons about it? Would appreciate it. Lookin' for fun. Thanks

[windsor4fun2]

While everyone is different, I would recomend trying it out. You should go to a off-site club first. There is no sex and may be less intimidating for the first time. Clubs give you the chance to meet other swingers and get to know them a bit. Don't go with any preconceived expectations such as leaving with someone to play. Before you go decide on what rules and limits you are comfortable with and stick to them.

Just enjoy the eye candy and relax.

Jesse

[remox]

Let me preface this with a disclaimer. I own a club.

However, here are a few reasons why I prefer clubs to some of the alternatives, like ads in magazines etc...

1) You can see who you are dealing with directly. The other party can not hide their appearance. Body language will clue you in to things like, whether or not they might be lying to you. You get a vibe as to whether or not you might be compatible without hours of potentially pointless or fictional written correspondence.

2) In a club, the fact that there is staff and other patrons in attendance makes for a safer environment in which to meet potential playmates. The physical risk is lower because you are going to neutral and supervised ground. No meetings in a hotel/motel or at someone's house (Even your own home isn't safe , do you want this stranger to know where you live?)

3) Similarly, a good club will help you protect your personal information, such as phone/address or e-mail. None of that information needs to be given to another party. You can make arrangements for secondary meetings either at the club or elsewhere once you have gotten to know someone, not before.

[remox]

The rules and staff at any reputable club will insure that your limits are respected!!!!!!!!

[lonely couple]

Thanks for the info!!

[Dan & Christy]

Boy do I feel dumb. Ok what are you all referring to as a "club" do you mean like one of those places I see on HBO's Real Sex? I sounds so naive. If so then how do you locate these places.

Christy

[naughty A]

Christy

Welcome....

Julie very kindly has linked a large number of clubs in club listings... select your area... and that should provide you with a list of the clubs in your area...

clubs come in different varieties.

on premise... you can meet other 'like minded' people and have sex there...

off premise... you can meet other people and dance and flirt and do other stuff ... but you are not supposed to have penetrative sex there...

[Dan & Christy]

Thanks so much for the new and informative info!

Not a pro at this or anything. My boyfriend and I got into the lifestyle this year. I have no doubt it has brought us closer together. I am much more secure than I have ever been in any relationship. Swinging together gives no reason to ever cheat on your partner. Why cheat when you can do it together. Just set the ground rules before you start. 1. full or soft swing 2. both agree on the couple 3. If things aren't going right walk out together with no questions asked. Just remember no means no. Your not a whore. you are doing this for yourself too. You are not there to oblige someone else.

[Dan & Christy]

Thanks so much! Loved the post! Canton NC or OH?

[fun_pairTX]

Or China or Texas?

[pelagic argosy]

I would definitely check out the security of the club first. Any reputable club will have no problem telling you this. We sadly learned this lesson when we referred a novice single friend to an on-site place. She got gang banged, which was out of character for her and not what she had discussed as her expectations prior to going. She eventually admitted that things had gotten out of hand and that someone she thought had been security was helping keep her there and took a turn also.

We helped her notify the police and we helped shut the place down. My wife's been in other clubs where the security is good and she's still felt her red flags go up. If you've read about my wife, you know that it takes alot to do that.

Our opinion is that finding partners at dance clubs or bars (or fraternities) is as safe as hooking up at a swingers club. Meaning, the more professional the place is run, the safer you are.

[sylon32]

If I were you I would explore all options. I would like to club but being a single male it is hard and a truck driver my time is very limited also

[BiCoupleTN69]

It depends on what you are looking for.

Some swingers want to develop long term friendships with their partners. Then Magazines or websites are better for that because you can locate others in your area.

Some swinger like us, prefer to just go and have it happen then without getting to know the other couples. We have no desire to develop long term relationships with our parnters.

I suggest you attend a club and just talk and watch the first time. Get the feel for it. Play with each other and then talk about what you think about going further.

Watching other couples and seeing partner switches will allow you to sort out your own limits and rules.

We have attended clubs across the country, everyone is different. Ask for a tour before you pay your membership fees or door charge. Then see if it's a place you want to stay at.

One club in Indiana we visited, we last about 20 mins before leaving. It cost us $100 for those 20 minutes. if we would have taken a tour before paying the money we would have never stayed it was so nasty!

As about single male policy, (limit or average number of single men allowed) some clubs are couples only on some nights, that would be the best enviroment to get started in.

Be open minded and ready for fun.

You will enjoy the club experence.

We have done both and personally find clubs to be the way to go.