Play parties? Are we going to be comfortable if we don't play?

N00bs · 07-07-2003, 08:34 PM

Hi all

Hubby and I recently attended our 1st couples dance.
We had a great time and met some seemingly great ppl.
Hubby was chatting with a hot blond and later in the evening she very secretly gave him an invitation for us to attend a BBQ at their home, with specific instructions to "bring something erotic to change into after the sun goes down"
She told us the reason she put that on the invites is because the last BBQ they had, everyone ate then basically left and she wants it known that this is a "play party"
I think we would like to attend but we have never played with couples before and still aren't sure that we want to, but we do know we are curious about it, hence the reason for going to the dance.
We told her that we had never been with a couple before and we're still very new to all of this, she told us that wasn't a problem. Basically all the playing goes on upstairs and the chit chat etc. down stairs. So i'm wondering whether we should go or not, and what to expct if we do go?
I'm not asking y'all to make our decision for us, I guess I just need to hear some different opinions on all of it!

Thanx

Vjklander · 07-07-2003, 08:53 PM

It sounds like you would be expected to play if you go. If you are not ready, willing and able to go through with it, you might want to pass this time. On the other hand, it sounds like a lot of fun. Your call.
J

memopa · 07-07-2003, 10:03 PM

we think it will be nice ... so you only do wath you make fell better ... maybe like us the first time will be nice to have a soft play

nc_couple_28304 · 07-07-2003, 10:17 PM

Personallly we would definately go!

Even if you did not want to stay after the bbq, the hostess should be understanding since you told her upfront that you
were new to it all.

Sounds like a great chance to meet some people and you never know you might just meet that right person or couple.

But that is just my opinion.

lersur · 07-07-2003, 11:06 PM

My wife and I had our first experience at a play party. The people we met were very nice and there was no pressure put on us. I say go and have a good time. You can chat and meet people and if you want to play you can. If you don't want to play don't. If that offends anyone then I would say that is probably not the group for you. Good luck on wahtever you decide. If you go let us know how it was

Larry

**TNT** · 07-07-2003, 11:08 PM

Even at play parties/house parties the number one rule is always the same....No means No.

We have been to numerous house parties and at each one there were always people who stayed fully dressed throughtout the night and never played. There were also ones who were nude within a few minutes of entering the door and playing.

There are usually designated places for playing as well as designated places for conversation.

Only do what you are comfortable with.

Teresa:p

thump29 · 07-07-2003, 11:27 PM

I would definetely say go and have a good time. If you are not ready then dont do anything, it would be a great way for you to meet new people and see how it goes from there. Good luck and I hope you have a good time if you decide to go!

windsor4fun2 · 07-08-2003, 01:15 PM

I agree with what others have said. Go and have fun. You have already discussed your concerns with the hostess so she is aware that you may not stay and it is unlikely you will play upstairs so there should be no issues there.

I can't stress enough though that you and your S.O. discuss before hand what you are willing to do and not do once your at the party. DO NOT change those rules in the heat of the moment you will most likely regret it later. Also discuss and decide on a safe word that you can use incase either one of you get into a situation your not comfortable with. When one of you says the word all play stops and you and your S.O. move to a quiet corner and talk.

Other than that relax and enjoy

Jesse

NotsoNew · 07-09-2003, 12:14 AM

Go and have fun! As windsor said, just make sure that you have your limits in place BEFORE you go to avoid any future issues.

Have fun!!

rounder · 07-09-2003, 07:47 AM

Just a little confused by the concept here...does a "play party" imply that couples or individuals pair off & retire to a room, or is there one big area where a semi-orgy takes place?

naughty A · 07-09-2003, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rounder
Just a little confused by the concept here...does a "play party" imply that couples or individuals pair off & retire to a room, or is there one big area where a semi-orgy takes place?

in MY experience - yes... both. there are some private rooms and one orgy type room. and there are usually SAFE areas where no sexual activity is supposed to take place but ... sometimes does...

**TNT** · 07-09-2003, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rounder
Just a little confused by the concept here...does a "play party" imply that couples or individuals pair off & retire to a room, or is there one big area where a semi-orgy takes place?

As naughtyA said...yes and both and/or anything inbetween. One thing to remember is that if a door is closed that means people want privacy. If it is open, you are welcome to watch or join in...if joining in, remember to always ask first.

Teresa

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07-07-2003, 08:34 PM	#1 (permalink)
N00bs Registered Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 8 Location: Abbotsford BC Status: Married Couple	Play parties? Are we going to be comfortable if we don't play? Hi all Hubby and I recently attended our 1st couples dance. We had a great time and met some seemingly great ppl. Hubby was chatting with a hot blond and later in the evening she very secretly gave him an invitation for us to attend a BBQ at their home, with specific instructions to "bring something erotic to change into after the sun goes down" She told us the reason she put that on the invites is because the last BBQ they had, everyone ate then basically left and she wants it known that this is a "play party" I think we would like to attend but we have never played with couples before and still aren't sure that we want to, but we do know we are curious about it, hence the reason for going to the dance. We told her that we had never been with a couple before and we're still very new to all of this, she told us that wasn't a problem. Basically all the playing goes on upstairs and the chit chat etc. down stairs. So i'm wondering whether we should go or not, and what to expct if we do go? I'm not asking y'all to make our decision for us, I guess I just need to hear some different opinions on all of it! Thanx

07-07-2003, 10:03 PM	#3 (permalink)
memopa Registered User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1 Location: bogota Status: couple	sound great we think it will be nice ... so you only do wath you make fell better ... maybe like us the first time will be nice to have a soft play

07-07-2003, 11:08 PM	#6 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 4,195 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple SLS Name:tblonde312 Blog Entries: 31	Even at play parties/house parties the number one rule is always the same....No means No. We have been to numerous house parties and at each one there were always people who stayed fully dressed throughtout the night and never played. There were also ones who were nude within a few minutes of entering the door and playing. There are usually designated places for playing as well as designated places for conversation. Only do what you are comfortable with. Teresa:p __________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

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07-07-2003, 08:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
Vjklander Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 832 Location: VA Status: Couple, Straight M, BiFem SLS Name:Vjklander	It sounds like you would be expected to play if you go. If you are not ready, willing and able to go through with it, you might want to pass this time. On the other hand, it sounds like a lot of fun. Your call. J

07-07-2003, 10:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
nc_couple_28304 Active Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 13 Location: nc Status: couple	Personallly we would definately go! Even if you did not want to stay after the bbq, the hostess should be understanding since you told her upfront that you were new to it all. Sounds like a great chance to meet some people and you never know you might just meet that right person or couple. But that is just my opinion.

07-07-2003, 11:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
lersur Here to Stay Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 21 Location: Texas Status: Couple	My wife and I had our first experience at a play party. The people we met were very nice and there was no pressure put on us. I say go and have a good time. You can chat and meet people and if you want to play you can. If you don't want to play don't. If that offends anyone then I would say that is probably not the group for you. Good luck on wahtever you decide. If you go let us know how it was Larry

07-07-2003, 11:27 PM	#7 (permalink)
thump29 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 333 Location: okeechobee, fl Status: couple	I would definetely say go and have a good time. If you are not ready then dont do anything, it would be a great way for you to meet new people and see how it goes from there. Good luck and I hope you have a good time if you decide to go!

07-08-2003, 01:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
windsor4fun2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 371 Location: Windsor, Ontario Status: M half of Couple	I agree with what others have said. Go and have fun. You have already discussed your concerns with the hostess so she is aware that you may not stay and it is unlikely you will play upstairs so there should be no issues there. I can't stress enough though that you and your S.O. discuss before hand what you are willing to do and not do once your at the party. DO NOT change those rules in the heat of the moment you will most likely regret it later. Also discuss and decide on a safe word that you can use incase either one of you get into a situation your not comfortable with. When one of you says the word all play stops and you and your S.O. move to a quiet corner and talk. Other than that relax and enjoy Jesse

07-09-2003, 12:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
NotsoNew Active Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 392 Location: MD Status: Couple SLS Name:newbies123	Go and have fun! As windsor said, just make sure that you have your limits in place BEFORE you go to avoid any future issues. Have fun!!

07-09-2003, 07:47 AM	#10 (permalink)
rounder Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 49 Location: Eastern U.S. Status: couple	Just a little confused by the concept here...does a "play party" imply that couples or individuals pair off & retire to a room, or is there one big area where a semi-orgy takes place?

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