"Beautiful People Only!" Swing Clubs/Groups

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by Alura
Well, Dan, since you asked...

"Cripes, Lady! Get a clue!" is both condescending and doesn't impart a great deal of information. You often post about those stupid "liberals" who seem to be anyone who disagrees with you. You give us the impression that if we don't think you are right on any given subject, it's because we're stupid, never that you may have made a mistake or just have a different opinion. I'm not saying this is the way it is, just that it's the way you come across in your posts.

You are kind and generous in your postings on sexual matters and very helpful; I'm sure many swingers, potential and experienced have learned a lot from you. But folks who are fit and prefer to swing with those who are fit are "petty and pretentious." We, like you, look for people we can enjoy talking with. Others look for folks whose bodies fit theirs well. Each has the right to their own focus.

You're a great guy, Dan. If you'd just lighten up on people who don't agree with you, you'd be perfect.

Mr. Alura

The get a clue remark was a frustrated response to her assertion my first post to her was a personal attack. My apologies.

I'm still waiting for her to explain how she could interpret it as such. And I still stand by my assertion that if anyone judges others only on their physical features and nothing else, yes, they are petty and pretentious. Obviously this doesn't include naughty, she made it clear in her first post she takes personality into consideration as well. Perhaps I should have highlighted only that section of her post.

Speaking of, I'm still scratching my head over her railing against having her entire post highlighted.

Dan

[naughty A]

petty and pretentious

yup that's what I thought.

Dan, It was not the first time that day someone had quoted back my entire post at me without clear explaination.

Quotes my "writer's guide" tells me are to be used selectively, and in brief, the explaination which follows must be longer than the quote. In my experience they are used only to illustrate a point in your argument.

Can we just chalk up my "sensativity" to newness, too much caffiene, not enough sleep and the fact that I have a deadline approaching and cannot answer your post just now. The stupid computer keeps popping up with mail messages and I don't need that distraction either.

Thank you Mr. Alura for restoring my faith in this community.

i'm not interested in continuing this discussion any further please.

back to WORK. - Naughty A.

[Alura]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple
,,, I still stand by my assertion that if anyone judges others only on their physical features and nothing else, yes, they are petty and pretentious. Dan

I can't fully disagree with you on this one, Dan. I think there are probably more "beautiful" people who seek "beautiful" people who also have pleasant personalities than those who seek only good looks. The latter are probably more at ease in an on-premises club having sex with "beautiful" strangers, something Mrs. Alura and I don't understand at all.

We'll continue our policy of "friends first" and hope for the best on the "attractive" part. Come to think of it, we haven't done too poorly in the past in both categories.

Mr. Alura

[DragonsLair]

I just want to know who decides if you're beautiful or not? I may look at someone and think they're beautiful and you may think differently. We all have different ideas of what constitutes beauty.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

[Alura]

Yeah, I wondered that too, A. I also wondered if a "beautiful" couple invited a couple they thought to be "beautiful" but the other playmates at the party thought otherwise, what would happen?

Mr. Alura

[CanadianCouple]

[quote]Originally posted by naughty A
petty and pretentious

yup that's what I thought.

You thought correctly.

Dan, It was not the first time that day someone had quoted back my entire post at me without clear explaination.

Sorry to hear that. It is, however, the first time I've ever heard someone take offense to it being done.

Quotes my "writer's guide" tells me are to be used selectively, and in brief, the explaination which follows must be longer than the quote. In my experience they are used only to illustrate a point in your argument.

I don't have that particular guide in our library. Neither have I heard of that rule, written or otherwise, that the explaination must be longer than the quote. Truly, I've learned something new today.

Can we just chalk up my "sensativity" to newness, too much caffiene, not enough sleep and the fact that I have a deadline approaching and cannot answer your post just now. The stupid computer keeps popping up with mail messages and I don't need that distraction either.

Good luck on the deadline. By the way, you can disable the mail notification function of new posts in threads you've contributed to.

Thank you Mr. Alura for restoring my faith in this community.

John is a peacemaker extraordinare.

i'm not interested in continuing this discussion any further please.

Fair enough.
Despite what you may think, I'm really a nice guy, and many people who know me in person would line up to tell you that. Opinionated, yes, but nice. And honest to a fault. And I can assure you no animosity was ever meant on my part. I apologize for any upset I've caused you. Please feel free to address me on any subject in the future.

Dan

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by Alura
I can't fully disagree with you on this one, Dan. I think there are probably more "beautiful" people who seek "beautiful" people who also have pleasant personalities than those who seek only good looks. The latter are probably more at ease in an on-premises club having sex with "beautiful" strangers, something Mrs. Alura and I don't understand at all.

We'll continue our policy of "friends first" and hope for the best on the "attractive" part. Come to think of it, we haven't done too poorly in the past in both categories.

Mr. Alura

Tomorrow evening, we're meeting a new couple for the first time. We've discussed this very topic with them via the computer and over the phone, we've exchanged photos with them, and while none of the four of us will ever grace the cover of a magazine, we're all comfortable with the fact none of us are physically perfect. Thus far there seems to be a good gelling of personalities, and this is what is paramount to us.

I get the feeling Annette thought I was calling HER petty and pretentious (NOT the case), even though she stated personality was equally important to her, or words to that effect. I was basically agreeing with her post, but expanding beyond what she'd specifically addressed.

Dan

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by DragonsLair
I just want to know who decides if you're beautiful or not? I may look at someone and think they're beautiful and you may think differently. We all have different ideas of what constitutes beauty.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

True, but I think we all know what beautiful constitutes to the public at large. Your avatar is a good example, agreed?

Dan

[OhioCouple]

[quote]Originally posted by CanadianCouple
[b]

Originally posted by naughty A
Despite what you may think, I'm really a nice guy, and many people who know me in person would line up to tell you that. Opinionated, yes, but nice. And honest to a fault. And I can assure you no animosity was ever meant on my part.

I did read this on the date it was posted and didn't have time to respond.

Naughty A, I can vouch for Dan as being a pretty nice guy. I don't always agree with his opinions politically but then I don't always agree with my husbands either. Dan was one of several members on this board that welcomed me as a newbie into this forum and helped me to feel comfortable enough to post and ask questions. Although I've never met he and his wife in person, I'd not hesitate to do so if the opportunity arose.

Lori

[naughty A]

Despite the fact that I really did not want to address this subject again...

the way that I saw it was that Dan called ME "petty and pretentious."

If that had happened in person I would have been able to tell if he was joking or referring to someone else. Because he quoted the whole post I couldn't even tell if he had read it through.

Since this misunderstanding I have tried to read postings keeping in my head all the while that they can't possibly mean what I think they mean.

And yes as it happens I am pretty easy to get along with in person.

I apologize to Dan for misinterpretting his statement, I apologize to you and the rest of the board for making a fuss, but I stand by the fact that I felt attacked and I reacted in defense.

I have noticed that people have been more selective in using quotes however - I think it is a good thing - perhaps you disagree. And the previous person's posting is all the way down at the bottom of the screen underneath all the options etc.

*****
by the way Dan has me confused with Annette from sexypairca. who as it happens lives in the same neck of the woods as I.

I am A. I have also gone by the name Nadia as in (Naughty A(h))-If you prefer. But I wouldn't want anyone to associate Annette with my unfortunate "over-reaction"

and so hopefully this will end here...
*****

mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa --- A.



man - now I am starting to sound pretentious... but I assure you this is not my intent.

[CanadianCouple]

Lori --

Thanks so much for the kind words. We feel the same about you two as well.

I took what I thought was great pains to explain to naughty that I did not think she was 'petty and pretentious', by rote of the fact she clearly stated she considered personality as important as looks -- which I have no qualms about whatsoever. The shallow people I alluded to do NOT include her, judging by what I've read in her posts thus far.

Naughty, I apologize once again, and accept your apology warmly.

Lori, mind if I ask a question? In another thread you alluded to the fact you and Gene weren't meeting any new couples. Are you taking a temporary hiatus, or have you given up the lifestyle altogether? I hope everything's okay with you both.

Last Wednesday, we met a wonderful new couple for the first time. They live about three hours away, and were in our city on a work related visit. We ate dinner with them in a local restaurant, and spent three terrific hours getting to know each other. In fact, after the first half hour or so, it was as if we'd known each other for years. The ladies laughed so hard tears came to their eyes, and the other fellow and myself got along great as well. Time will tell where this goes, but regardless, we've made wonderful new friends.

Dan

[CanadianCouple]

Yes, I apparently had naughty mixed up with Annette.

Annette was the lady with whom we'd discussed gas prices in Canada. I mistakenly confused the two.

Dan

[Alura]

Originally posted by CanadianCouple

Time will tell where this goes, but regardless, we've made wonderful new friends.

Dan

That's what the lifestyle is all about, Dan. We're glad to hear it was a successful meeting and that y'all enjoyed it.

Alura

I know that "Beautiful People" get more action in the lifestyle, we live in world that is shallow and narrow minded. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder but, it seems NO MATTER HOW UNATTRACTIVE a lady is if she can wear a size 5-7 she will be picked over a size 18 or larger gal that is more attractive at a club "most times". I think parties that say "beautiful people" don't even care what the face is as long as they can pick you up, see your rib cage thin. I m not saying this is right or wrong I know it just IS! Personally people do want to swing with people who have body types close to their own "even me". I am a BBW many gals write that they are BBW when they are "not" they are just heavy and would not be sexy thin either. I am a true BBW I think i'm very sexy I am getting my weight off slowly. The whole point here is beautiful=thin in America sadly for me

[CanadianCouple]

Originally posted by xerogirl
I know that "Beautiful People" get more action in the lifestyle, we live in world that is shallow and narrow minded. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder but, it seems NO MATTER HOW UNATTRACTIVE a lady is if she can wear a size 5-7 she will be picked over a size 18 or larger gal that is more attractive at a club "most times". I think parties that say "beautiful people" don't even care what the face is as long as they can pick you up, see your rib cage thin. I m not saying this is right or wrong I know it just IS! Personally people do want to swing with people who have body types close to their own "even me". I am a BBW many gals write that they are BBW when they are "not" they are just heavy and would not be sexy thin either. I am a true BBW I think i'm very sexy I am getting my weight off slowly. The whole point here is beautiful=thin in America sadly for me

Your post illustrates exactly how we feel. Much too often people get the short shrift in this because they're considered too heavy, but our experience has been those heavier people are often much nicer to be around. This pervasive attitude of 'beauty only' also discourages many of the average people out there who are genuinely curious about the lifestyle, but feel their physical features would preclude them from engaging in swinging, or worse still, make them a laughing stock.

Swing clubs do themselves a disservice IMO, by only portraying the young and beautiful in their online ads. How many 200+ lb women are going to feel they'll be welcomed there?

This is one couple who place no such restrictions on our criteria for potential partners.

Dan