Who does not go to lifestyle clubs and why?

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

I just wanted to say thanks to Dynamar for giving me a "Word of the Day" to play around with.

Can't help it... I'm a word girl!

[Hot Raleigh Cpl]

While we have nothing against clubs, we don't go to many. Several reasons.

First, we seldom meet people to play with at clubs. Lots of socializing, some flirting (or cock teasing), some people dancing, but -- even at on-premises clubs -- little sex, which is what we swing for.

Second, some of the clubs we know seem clique-ish. There seem to be several groups of regulars who stay together, and aren't welcoming of newcomers and outsiders. We understand folks wanting to hang out with their friends, but it makes it difficult for newcomers to have anything happen. Strange compared to some clubs I visited in the early '80s. In those, every newcomer was considered "fresh meat" and pounced on. You never went home empty-handed. Not sure what's changed.

So while we don't really have anything against them, we're less successful finding playmates at clubs than through other avenues. Since we have so little time to play, L and I prefer to use that time where we have better chances of getting lucky.

We haven't given up on clubs. There are several we know of that we want to visit (hint:Vegas) , and just haven't made it yet.

S and L, Hot Raleigh Cpl

[celtic239]

The reason we haven't attended a LS club is because the one that would we believe we would like (an on premise) is open on alternating weekends and the wife happens to work when they are open. The off premise club in our area seems to have ceased to exist.

[iapr]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

We like clubs (off and on-premise) for initially meeting people. Sometimes we do play there when we first meet people, sometimes we play there with people we've already met. For us we have found that a club atmosphere is a good way to get an initial feel for people, is it a great place to really get to know people? not so much. But, if we find that we like them in the club atmosphere then it's typically worthwhile to meet them again in a quieter atmosphere. (edit by iapr).....personally I've met many of my best friends initially at a bar or club before getting to know them outside.

I agree with this totally. Clubs are a good place to meet people in a no expections and sexually charged atmosphere but are not necessarily a good place to get to know them well or in the case of off-premise, a good place to actually play.

I think a good analogy to a club is those little booths they have on game shows where there is like $1000 in $1 bills swirling around in the booth and the person has 1 minute to go in and grab as many dollar bills as they can.

[tittietwister]

We felt for so long that clubs weren't for us because we don't like crowds, aren't extroverts, like to get to know people first, hate loud noise, thought clubs were slimy, etc. We finally went to one in Washington DC and had most our fears confirmed. Then we went to one in PA and came away very favorably impressed but did not play. Have returned on several occassions and had a great time and played each time.

For us, the club we found is far superior to house parties in that there is really no pressure to play. Sorry folks, but we will debate until we run out of air that there is no pressure to play at house parties. And that pressure frequently results in a natural selection process that we abhor. For us a house party would only be a viable option now if we knew and liked most of the people on the guest list. For the most part though, we get invitations to parties where we know maybe one couple - that isn't enough for us to feel comfortable.

We also use "our club" as a venue to meet new people as well as meet fellow club goers we now count as friends. If it doesn't work out there are so many other options including just having a nice vertical time dancing and talking.

The name of "our club" is the The Cottage near Gettysburg PA. You meet the nicest people at The Cottage. Hope to see some Swinger's Board people there.

[twohots4u2]

1. Do you not go to clubs because you had a previous bad experience?
We got our start swinging in an on-premises club in New York City. For the first several years most of our play was in swing clubs. However, we got tired of the greet, meet, grope, suck, fuck, and go type of play we often encountered. We are seeking singles and couples for play, but have only found a few that we have swung with. Now we are beginning to feel that we are seeking too much when we meet folks outside of the clubs. In the clubs, we were not as demanding of compatibility and chemistry, and had a lot of fun with the folks we met there.

2. Do you not go because you have had good success through other means and just have not had any reason to go? We have been seeking to find swing friends outside the club.

3. Are you or your partner intimidated or afraid to to go to a club? No.

4. Do you think that clubs are just for the "hardcores" or that you do not think you are a "real swinger" and do not belong in a club? Clubs are a great way to get started. No pressure, no rejection problems, if you are not attracted, move on. Also, different clubs have different atmospheres. Some clubs felt very cliquish, others were open and friendly. Some were mostly folks who were younger than us, others seemed to welcome people of all ages, types, etc.

5. Are you not a "bar person" and don't like the smoke, noise, competition, chaos etc etc? We will not go to a club where smoking is allowed. Also, if it is too crowded it is hard to find a place to play. Too many single men chasing us around can be unenjoyable. It depends on the club and their rules.

6. Are you someone that does not like crowds or feel that a club scene is not personal or intimate enough? We would rather find long term friends that we can be personal with, but have not been very successful in that area.