House parties: How do you find them?

[leftcoastcouple]

The recent threads suggesting parties as a way of finding a solution to the "four-way match" problem really got me thinking, even though Mrs. LC and I have never even considered attending a party before.

We've been talking for what seems like ages about re-entering the lifestyle, and our only encounters way back when we were playing were through chance, with friends who we approached and found to be receptive. So, we've never played with strangers.

When we consider the possibility of doing so--whether it's looking at ads or, more often, playing "Would you do them?" while people-watching in a public place (something we both get a kick out of)--we see the "four-way" problem more often than not, and that's with just the two of us expressing our tastes/desires, without two other people's taste/desire's (or not) for us to consider! It leaves us feeling like we'll never find or agree on a couple, and if we do, that they won't agree on us.

But to attend a party and separate, free to play alone with people with whom we find individual compatibility? That sounds very fun--and intriguing. Granted, it doesn't have the same dynamics as swapping outright with a couple. But it's obviously got its own advantages and attractions.

So, I'm left wondering: How does one go about finding a party to attend? Getting invited? Etc.?

I tried searching for answers to this question in the forums and came up empty, so if it's been asked and answered before, please accept my apology and kindly point me in the right direction.

And while, I'm asking, I might as well ask this, too: My understanding of parties is that they're not for the tame or uninitiated and are pretty much no holds barred affairs (contrary to clubs, where, if I understand correctly, a couple can wander and test the waters with less pressure to immediately participate). Is that correct? Mrs. LC and I (but especially Mrs. LC) are pretty shy types at first, and my biggest concern about attending a party (and to some degrees, a club) is that doing so might overwhelm her, especially since she is quite attractive and, I suspect, would have no shortage of guys interested in playing with her. Is this a valid concern?

As always, thanks in advance for your help and advice!

[JustMrJ]

So far, the wife and I have found several SLS groups that have parties in our area and one of them pointed us to another 'variation' of the same group on Google Groups.

Check your local listings, show times may vary...

[JustAskJulie]

Definately check the SLS groups as well as the local Yahoo Groups in your area. Those tend to be the best ways to find parties near you... although many parties are more private and they only invite those they know.... so the more you get out and meet people the more parties you will find out about.

House parties are like clubs in a way, no two are alike... not even two at the same house. While some house parties kick off 5 seconds after you walk in the door and if you aren't playing you may feel left out, other house parties never seem to really get going and you are left with a bunch of people sitting around and looking a lot like a vanilla party. All it takes is one person to get the party going though... someone just has to step up and be the first.

[N&G]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

All it takes is one person to get the party going though... someone just has to step up and be the first.

There is a general rule among our friends. "It's the host's job to start the party". If the host is unable to fulfill his or her duties then they may appoint someone to act on their behalf.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by N&G

There is a general rule among our friends. "It's the host's job to start the party". If the host is unable to fulfill his or her duties then they may appoint someone to act on their behalf.

Good rule!