How likely are you to approach?

[JustAskJulie]

When you see another couple at a club that interest you, how likely are you to approach them? Do you tend to lay back and hope that they approach you? Or what about after initial contact has been made and you've established a rapport, are you more likely to let them know then that you'd like to play? Or do you still hold back out of fear of rejection (or some other reason)?

I find that we tend to kinda hang back at first but as the night progresses and we get more comfortable we will be more likely to approach people. And as for initiating play, it seems that I'm most often the one who does it - "so you guys wanna go find a private room?".

[alphaplaycpl]

I think I initiate most of the meetings we have at clubs. In situations with couples, I think most are more comfortable with the female making the first move. I usually try to find an opportunity to engage in the social scene with a couple, first. Then, once we are all laughing and having a good time I will say "Oh by the way - I am Mrs. Alpha - nice to meet you." I also try to make a connection (eye contact, mostly) and evaluate a reaction before I approach. I think that is the "fear of rejection" playing itself out.

[VegasLee]

If Laura or I either one see someone that interests us we walk up and introduce ourself and talk to them. That is what we are there for so no use wasting the time wishing and hoping. If they are not interested, no big deal since there are always more people there. Always nice to meet someone new either way, playtime or not.

[Chris&Amelia]

When meeting new people we're both rather shy. I would prefer that somebody introduces them to us. We just feel weird walking up to total strangers and starting up a discussion out of the blue.

That being said, "waiting and see if they approach us" has never worked. Can't say we've ever had anybody ever walk up to us that we didn't already know and start chatting with us.

There is a definite fear of rejection for both of us. Also, Amelia tends to be rather quiet, which sometimes puts a damper on things.

If we do establish a connection and feel that there is chemistry, eventually the topic of hooking up will usually come up. Sometimes it's me casually asking what they're doing after the party, and sometimes it's them.

[sweet_tna]

Neither Mr. Sweet or I are shy at all, so us approaching another couple is fairly likely if we're interested. We both enjoy meeting new people, and it's also fairly even between us as to who makes the first move.

=)

[SW_PA_Couple]

Was not always this way but if we like someone, we go after them. Getting past the fear of rejection was a matter of discovering that it brings happy results so often. JoAnn is the one more likely to walk up to someone and say "hay" or even say "let's play". But I do it too.

[tittietwister]

From two introverts, we haven't been able to just approach people cold yet at a club. Fortunately, our clubbing has been with people we know. We have to get over it.

[Tia Vampire]

We will both flirt to see where it goes from there. He will approach a woman or couple that he finds interesting, I will not approach a new couple, but if it's someone we have already been with, then i'm not shy.

[theboy]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

When you see another couple at a club that interest you, how likely are you to approach them?

I often jokingly refer to my wife as my 'wingwoman'. She's great at approaching people, I'm much much more shy. So if someone looks interesting we'll approach, no matter what.

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Or what about after initial contact has been made and you've established a rapport, are you more likely to let them know then that you'd like to play? Or do you still hold back out of fear of rejection (or some other reason)?

Depends on the couple. MOST of our club stuff has involved setting up later dates at a future time, but we have on occasion asked someone back to our hotel room or whatever or been asked back. The future dates are useful in that it gives us time to talk in private about our interest in a couple.

[Playful1]

I usually spend the first 30-40min watching and observing, sort of figuring out who I want to talk to. After that I will go around and talk to people, sometimes a little shyly, until I find ones i click with. Once i click, I have no problem letting them know clearly that I'd like to play. Once I get past the initial contact, I go for it. If I am taking the time to go out to a club/party/event, I generally plan on having sex. I figure you create your own experience.

[lotsoffun201]

We tend to be more introverted and wait for people to approach is. At our regular club/party venue, we know most of the locals at least by face recognition though.