Not happy with what we've found. Are we expecting too much from this club?

[FOOTLOVER69]

I just have a few questions for all the veteran swingers out there. When going to a club, what do you expect? Do you expect the atmosphere to be sexually charged, such as the dance area? Do you expect to find someone to play with when going to an on-premise club or just make friends? Also, how long would you give that club before looking elsewhere for potential playmates if it doesn't seem to be happening at that particular club.

We are still new to swinging but the club we go to doesn't seem to be right for us. We love the way it set up, but never meet anyone there. We haven't tried house parties yet but are considering that option. I write this because the club we currently go to doesn't seem to take any type of critism without biting your head off for speaking your mind. It seems they don't care if anyone finds someone eventually to play with. No one dances and no one mingles except those who know one another(the regulars). We are not the only ones to voice this opinion, but they don't care. I know this may get me banned from their so called club but I truly don't care. They flat out told me they could care less if we meet anyone there. By the way we have been going there almost weekly for a few months now.

I am overly just disappointed that one of the top clubs in our area feels this way about the members who don't have a good time. I'm just wondering if all the top clubs in the nation feel that the reason they exist is so people can make friends and not find playmates. Am I wrong in thinking the reason to go to an on-premise club is to find someone sooner or later to have fun with? I won't post the club on here because my intent is not to bad mouth them or the members but to get opinions on if I am expecting too much. I just don't like when clubs make themselves sound great and could care less if you are happy and want to come back.

The last thing I have to say is thank you everyone for listening. I'm glad I have one site I can post about this. If anyone from that club or site visits here, I just ask that you hear me out on my side. It is evident that we are not welcome there but I do know the club has changed management 3 times and it will happen again. Thanks for letting me rant.

[Tom & Bonnie]

Swingers Clubs exist so that couples can meet other couples. Period! If you're club does not care about your concerns, they do not value you as a member and I would move along.

A good club will provide an erotic atmosphere, host couples, ice breaker games, mixers and a good mix of dance music. Some off premise clubs even provide off site play parties to heat things up.

New clubs are opening up all the time, keep an eye opne for one that you may like.

There are basicaly three type of swing club operators out there.

1. Those that opened up a club to get laid. (Well, good luck on that one, ;-))
2. Those that only are interested in making money. (Again, good luck)
and
3. Those that genuinely want to offer a place for swingers to get together.

You need to find a club like #3.

Or, if you don't mind giving up your sex life and/or making a lot of money.. Open one up yourself!

[bear_and_babe]

I am sorry that you are not happy with the club you attend, but I think you are putting too much responsibility on the club for your happiness. We never go to a club expecting to play. We go to have fun, and if we play, that is a plus. However, the club should listen to feedback from their members.

We are members of 2 on-premise clubs. Both have a different feel and we have different experences at each. The first club we went to, we went with another couple, so we aready knew someone there. Our first night there, the host couple gave us the tour, and that was all we got in the way of interaction with the staff. However, it is a very easy place to play. Seems everyone goes there ready to play. The second club we attend is more of a social club. The first night we went, the staff went out of their way to make sure we were having fun, and were meeting people. However, we hardly ever play at this club. We do a lot of talking with people, a lot of dancing which we love, but not much playing.

I do have some questions for you. When you go to the club, do you try to talk to people? Do you have a smile on your face? Are you sitting at a table in the middle of the room, or are you holding up the wall? I am a very shy person and I had to force myself to go up to people and just start talking. I know when we go to the clubs, when I look around the room and see people just sitting at a table looking like they want to be somewhere else, then I am not going to approach them. You also said that no one dances. Have you and your SO gotten up and danced? It seems that Bear and I are always the first on the dance floor and others will follow. Maybe you could try that.

But in the long run, if you have been going to this club for a few months now, and you are not happy, I think it is time to try a new club. If you have talked to the staff and they seem like they really don't care, then why keep giving them your business? Hang in there. You will find a club for you. It may take trying a few different ones, you will find one.

Babe

[JustAskJulie]

It depends on the club. I wish more clubs existed so that couples could meet other couples. But all too many clubs exist to make money. Why don't they care if you meet anyone? Simply because they already have your money. Why don't they take criticism and suggestions well? Because they are doing this for themselves and their closest friends, not for anyone else.

If you aren't comfortable at a club and aren't finding what you want then it's time to find a new club. I would probably give a club 3 tries (tops) before moving on, less depending on what happened in the first 1 or two visits.

When I go to a club I'm looking for a place that is set up so that you can easily move around and mingle, with good music but not so loud you can't talk to someone at your own table. Tables big enough to seat multiple couples, friendly hosts, and all the things that Tom and Bonnie mentioned.

[fun_pairTX]

We say vote with your $$ by giving them to a different club. There is one out there where you can be happy as a member.

[FOOTLOVER69]

I just wanted to thank everyone for their replies. To answer a few questions, we have tried dancing before even if no one else does. That doesn't seem to work. It doesn't make anyone else want to dance because the music is simply a bad choice and sometime very loud. We sit in the middle of the room near the bar, not against the wall and look around with smiles on our faces. The club has smaller tables which are close together. Those that we have appoached to say hello simply ends at that. My fiancee usually tries giving the other females compliments as she sees them, such as they look nice in their outfit/dress. It just seems that no one really mingles. Everyone sits apart and doesn't talk or dance. It is by the way known as a Social Club. It simply seems that the dance area kills the mood for anything to happen. As someone there told me once, it's like being at your high school dance and everyone is afraid.
By the way it was the club managers/host couple who said they simply didn't care if we or anyone else finds someone there to be with. This is after attending the club for almost 4 months. They will also wipe any and all negative comments off their website or others that are affiliated with them. It just amazes me that they get such a good crowd on the weekend seeing that they don't care who is enjoying themselves. It has really left a bad taste in our mouths as far as the whole swingers lifestyle goes. This is the second club we have gone to and neither really cares once they have your $$$.

[Southern Lady]

Originally Posted by Tom & Bonnie

A good club will provide an erotic atmosphere, host couples, ice breaker games, mixers and a good mix of dance music. Some off premise clubs even provide off site play parties to heat things up.

3. Those that genuinely want to offer a place for swingers to get together.

You need to find a club like #3.

Or, if you don't mind giving up your sex life and/or making a lot of money.. Open one up yourself!

I am wondering what the clubs in my area are like I hope they are like this sound like great fun. It would make our first visit much easier. Anyone have commits on the ones near Mobile?

[DBL D]

Keep on Truckin' you guys. It's not worth going to a club you don't like. I mean, it's great to not expect to get laid but you gotta have interesting prospects to be drawn back again.

There are lots of reasons that folks give for not liking a club and sometimes it's not because of the people who are there. It could be the music, layout, aroma, public access or lack of beer selection.

There should be lots of choices in Florida (except the beer).

Male D