Unsure about clubs

[azure_dawn_2]

Everyone here seems to be having such a great time at the clubs. I have to confess that lately I've been disappointed. Actually I've felt disappointed all but the first time (we've gone 4 times to 2 different clubs). I've been trying to figure out why I feel the way I do... I usually get flirted with a lot out at the bar. My husband is somewhat reserved, he usually is quiet, while I flit about flirting with people. But by the time we go in the back with towels on, it becomes akward (not with my husband, but rather with others). I usually take my towel off (often my husband does too) and don't feel a bit shy. But people are less friendly in the "sex" area; usually it is very dark and most people who aren't having sex look nervous and uncomfortable. In the rooms where people are having sex, it's almost always couples rather than group sex. Hardly any bi stuff, although I do see a lot of girl-girl kissing but not too much serious bi activities. This is going to sound weird, but to me it's all so... normal. Kinda not what I expected. In my fantasies, sex clubs would be these wild, kinky places where anything goes. In reality, they seem much more tame. When we did partake in sex with people, I left feeling like it was a waste of effort, time and money. We aren't wife swappers. I'm especially turned off to the idea because some of the girls I met were fairly cool but inevitably were accompanied by mullet-wearing rednecks. The guys 9 times out of 10 kill the experience because honestly most of them are just icky.
Okay, end whine session. Any thoughts? I would appreciate some opinions... Am I expecting too much? Could my reserved husband be killing our chances of meeting more interesting people in the back? Am I being to aggressive or forward?

Thanks
Dawn

[JustAskJulie]

Sounds like it's an issue of expectations. Any time you go into any situation with certain expectations, you are bound to be dissapointed.

Based on what you posted, I'm guessing you are mainly there looking for other girls to play with? While there are some couples there with the same idea, most are looking for other couples so that EVERYONE can enjoy the evening and no one is left out.

If clubs aren't working for you, perhaps you try other venues.

[sweetcpl1]

Must agree with Julie,
it looks like you guys are either in the wrong club or over all need a different venues
We remeber over 5 years ago when we attended our first party, it was a total turn off and we walked in for 5 min. and got out of there, wrong crowd and party for us.
The whole thing stopped us for 6-7 months to even think about attending another club.
But when we attend other local parties, we discover a new world of erotic, fun, like minded couples all around us.

it's just like high school, changing classes and meeting new friends and one day you'll find your "best friends"

[joseph3d]

I am curious.

Since you are in Atlanta, have you two been to Trapeze? While one of their group rooms is dark, the intimate lounge areas have subdued lighting, and one of the group rooms is lit up fairly well.

I suggest a different approach. In the front of Trapeze, there is a lot of opportunity for socializing. The place to meet partners with which to swing in the front.

Another place we have heard about is 2risque. We've not been there, but we'd to find out more. It's actually on the same street as Trapeze. How different is it than Trapeze and how is it different? I bring this up because this may be a place you've not tried.

But don't give up; we've been to a club and almost nothing was going on between the women, and the next time everything seemed to be woman to woman.

[ciscosv]

The on-premise parties we have attended are probably more your thing. Every group however, may be different. Our experience has been that there is alot of bi-fem activity. My wife included. 90% of the couples in attendance have a bi-female. This particular "venue" (thanks Julie) is smaller in size (6-to12 couples) and for the most part everybody knows everybody or everybody meets everybody. Did that make sense? The both of us have had alot of fun at these parties. I never got the impression that anyone was uncomfortable sexully.

[JustAskJulie]

Not sure why I got thanked on that.

[ciscosv]

Credit for the word "venue". There are different types of swing club venues.

Our expierience has been at a couples only "off-premise club" where to me it is more of an off-premise party.

Some off-premise clubs seem like a for profit business that sells alcoholic beverages from bar, has rooms for playtime

The off-premise parties we attended (2 different locations) were more private, no bar, was byob and no nudity is allowed . Membership required so to speak.

That is my take.

[Tanman aka Mike and Marie]

Hi Azure!

We are from Nashville and have been to Club Venus (awful place !) and to Trapeeze over Valentines day weekend. Having been to approx 6 different clubs and after reading your post I would say you probably had your expectations to high also.

We have had several couples e-mail us and ask us abour our club visits and experiences and the first thing we say is have NO expectations at all. Next remember that many people there are just like you ..relative newbies..not everyone there will be "hardcore swingers at the club every week looking for sex "

Also a lot of people will see the crowds as clickish, but remember many people may want to get to know you a little first (trust level) . So introduce yourselves , say hi to other people, ask some other people to dance....be social

And as far as the sex goes.......We have never seen any full-blown orgies (still waiting) and we have been to several on premises clubs too.

Be patient, no expectations, go with the purpose of listening to some great music, dancing, seeing some other hot people and have a little fun