what happens at a typical house party?

[sexcupid]

To start off with, I know what goes on at these things...but didn't think that Club/house party etiquitte quite fit as a subject line.

Jeff and I have had a few conversations over the last month and I am having some issue processing a few things that we can't quite seem to come to a happy medium on.

We've been to a local club a couple of times now. Each time we ended up having sex with each other (we had to try out the "dungeon room" and the swing ya know! facelick ). The first night we went, it was pretty slow and that's why we just kind of played with each other. The last time was for a Super Bowl party and most of the guys were glued to the big screen. *lol*

Anyway, to get to my questions...if you go some where as a couple, do you normally play as a couple? Or do you show up, kind of cruise together and then break off as singles to play? Look for other couples so both of you are playing at the same time?

Most of my problem comes with going some where, then having the bf, for lack of a better description, abandon me to go looking for a playmate. Especially at a house party. We haven't gone to one yet, but I want to know what to expect. I mean, when you walk in is it like an orgy/pile in the living room...or are they more like a regular party/get together for a little while with people breaking off to other areas of the house for privacy? Or does it just depend on the party?

My thoughts are basically, if we go some where together then we play together. If he wants to go trolling for playmates as a single man, then I think he needs to go by himself. Am I out of line in thinking this? I'm just trying to get more into the house party idea.

The one club we've gone to, most of the couples there have known/played with each other for a while. I'm sure in that situation that it may be more of a free-for-all. We were asked to come home for the "after party" after the club closed the first time we went. We politely declined that time, because we both had other obligations the next day and it was already after 2am (eh, times flies when your're having fun ).

Anyway, I know this has gotten kind of long...any response is appreciated.

Thanks!

Maria

[Mr. Truelove]

We would go together, meet people together, and play together. We simply would not play alone and I am under the assumption that is a common philosophy. (not everyones mind you but enough to create the atmosphere) I can't imagine there being an all out, free for all, in any club. But I'm sure there are places you could find that if it interested you.

I think this is simply something you two should discuss. If you both decide to stay together, then do so. There is never an obligation. Just remember, go as slow as the slowest person so that everyone is comfortable. If you aren't on the same page then someone isn't going to have very much fun.

Mr. Truelove

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

Just remember, go as slow as the slowest person so that everyone is comfortable. If you aren't on the same page then someone isn't going to have very much fun.
Mr. Truelove

That is a philosophy that we are subscribing to. We aren't looking to make anyone else uncomfortable, and trying to avoid any hurt/mixed feelings.

As for the free-for-all scenario...I don't think of that happening so much on the club scene as much as it may be a more common occurance for the house party scene? I don't know if that is a correct assumption on my part b/c we haven't gone to any house parties yet.

Part of his thinking is that he doesn't want to have any restrictions placed, but I'm not to that point yet. I don't think that he needs to check in with me on every little thing...but I would be more comfortable with him knowing what I am ok with and not beforehand. I know that he's ok with anything that can/will possibly happen (he has said so as many times).

Thanks for the response!

Maria

[Mr. Truelove]

I don't know much about house parties. Or if you can even categorize them. We have some neighbors that don't know we are in the lifestyle that prefer house parties. Maybe someday we'll out ourselves to find out. (wouldn't be bad, they are HOOTTTT )

I'd be very interested to find out from other people what house parties are typically like.

Mr. Truelove

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

We haven't gone to one yet, but I want to know what to expect. I mean, when you walk in is it like an orgy/pile in the living room...or are they more like a regular party/get together for a little while with people breaking off to other areas of the house for privacy? Or does it just depend on the party?

That last one. I'd say, ask the host what kind of a party it's going to be. We've only been to one house party, one private party in a bar, and one swing club event. At the house party, most people didn't know each other already. At some point, the host turned down the lights and lit some candles. This seemed to be the signal for people. Some combinations split off into other rooms for a bit of privacy. In the common areas, a few people would make out, but not much more than that.

As far as whether you play together or separately, that's up to both of you and what you're comfortable with. The key is that you both have to agree. No abandoning allowed if one of you wants to play only as a couple.

At the bar party, about a year ago, most people already knew each other. There was lots of activity going on everywhere after a certain hour. It was a bit surreal for us since we were newbies.

[Greg & Sheryl]

We are a unique couple in that we will play either together or apart, depending on the circumstances. In general, we are more likely to play together at an event where we don't know many people, and that typically happens at a club. However, we are more likely to play apart an event where we know most of the people, and that typically happens at a house party.

While some house parties are of the the take-your-clothes-off-at-the-door-and-jump-in-the-pile variety, in our experience most house parties are just like a regular party where people will drink, eat, and socialize before eventually making their way to the bedrooms. But regardless of what others do, if you aren't comfortable with the idea of your boyfriend acting as a free agent at these events, then he is obligated to abide by your wishes.

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by Greg & Sheryl

But regardless of what others do, if you aren't comfortable with the idea of your boyfriend acting as a free agent at these events, then he is obligated to abide by your wishes.

Dito You both have to be comfortable, and unless the problem is that he doesn't like seeing you with someone (actually just a DIFFERENT problem), he must abide by your wishes to stick WITH you.

Sarah

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

Dito You both have to be comfortable, and unless the problem is that he doesn't like seeing you with someone (actually just a DIFFERENT problem), he must abide by your wishes to stick WITH you.

Sarah

It's not that he has a problem seeing me with someone else. I just figure that the first few parties we go to, we won't really know any/many people and I would just be more comfortable with him being there with me and us playing as a couple.

I'm like that in most social situations, if I know plenty of people where we are then I don't mind him going off to do what he wants. However, if we're some where new then I like having him with me (if for nothing more than the people watching comments ) for some level of comfort for lack of a better phrase.

Thanks for the feedback!

Maria