Request to touch at swingers club

[joseph3d]

Recently my gf and I were at a large swingers club and observed this situation, and I thought it would be a good poll/discussion.

A man with his gf/wife came in the dance room and was being friendly with other couples and ladies when they started chatting with a woman. He immediately seemed quite attracted to her, and told her that he found her irresistible. He asked if he could touch her. His gf/wife seemed amused and was smiling looking on. His flirting seemed to work cause the woman smiled and opened her blouse to give him access to touch/feel her breast. Later, I had the opportunity, out of curiosity, to ask the woman about how she felt; she said it flattered her and made her feel desirable.

[Spoomonkey]

Well - I am guessing this will be answered differently by men than it will by women

I had a really cute woman walk up to me and grab my ass and when I turned around to see who it was, she grabbed my monkey-lever. Had I done this to her, I would have risked being kicked out of the club - but since she did it to me, the worst I could do is tell her to go away.

Instead, I grabbed her boobs and told her we were even.

I didn't really care for the woman despite her looks. Her attitude and pushiness made her a "1". But she did have nice boobs - and I took her advance towards me as an invitation. Junk for junk seemed fair to me at the time. Honestly, though, it pissed me off that she took advantage of a double standard - I think everyone in the club should be respected and not touched unless they have invited someone to do so.

Mrs Spoo is going to answer this next

Spoomonkey

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Well first of all I do agree with Spoo...I think there is a double standard and I really don't think it's right. There's this lady at our club and when she comes she hovers around an entrance between areas (dance floor/bar) and grabs the men, etc. She is one of those types of woman (being nice here) that most of them don't want her near them. One friend of ours asked me to rescue him from her at one point.

Anyway, if a guy asked if he could touch it would depend on a lot of things but basically I may say yes...I may say no. A single guy was coming up the steps one time and I was heading down...Spoo was at the bar. The single said he wanted a kiss to let me pass...I told him no! The main reason is I don't like the singles that can't talk to you when your with your husband but wait till your alone...he'd basically been staking all night and it pissed me off that he waited till I was upstairs alone. That is just one example but it is always my call and it will probably be a no more often then a yes.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[des1re06]

Glad you brought this up.

I'd much rather someone ask than just assume that because I'm there and wearing something sexy that I'm fair game.

Mr. D was taking a break at our table, and I was dancing with a cute single guy (29). I was really enjoying the sexy dancing. Then, he put his hand under my dress and slid in a finger before I knew what was happening. That killed it for him. I was so shocked that he would assume dancing with him gave him that right.

So, now I tell them no touchy feely on the dancefloor.

Mrs. D

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by des1re06

That killed it for him.

It would have done more than that .... he probably would have been missing an arm. No two arms because after Spoo found out why some guy was on the dance floor screaming and crying in pain with one arm he would have taken care of the other I'm sorry being a swinger and dressing sexy does not give someone the right to violate a woman at the club.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[ohash01]

I voted "depends on my mood". (I'm going on hypothetical situations here, since J. and I have yet to go to a club). Every once in a while I'm in such a funk that I don't even want J. to touch me. Haha. Chances are, that I wouldn't be at a club on that night, but hey, it could happen.

If I've chatted with someone for a minute or two and they seem cool and just ask for a little touch or kiss, sure thing. Now, I'm not very likely to let someone I meet in passing to get much further than a caress or two. I'm a wee bit shy, so it's impossible for me to imagine people lining up to touch me.

[Nudesailing]

A lot depends on the person and how they approach it.

[JustAskJulie]

It really depends on several things for me. In the poll I marked that it depended on my mood... which is one of those things. More than that it depends on the overall situation. I mean if someone just walked up out of the blue and asked to touch me I'd probably give them a dirty look. But I've had situations where say one person was already feeling me up and another walked up and it was like "what the heck".

[Tybee Swing]

I voted "other, will post". I couldn't possibly say in a poll like this that it would be yes, no, or depending on my mood. A BIG part of the equation is - who's asking? What's he like? Is he charming? Am I attracted to him?

In what setting, exactly, is he asking? I mean - did we just walk in the door? Are we dancing and flirting? Engaging in some kind of flagrant behavior? I'd only know the answer in the moment, I guess.

The way you described it, a man was just introduced to a woman, he says she's irresistable and he wants to touch her....I don't know, it sounds like a cheesy line in order to cop a feel. I have a feeling that's how it would seem to me if it were happening.

[sereneiders]

I am surprised that among the options there is "I'd report him to management"... why? It's supposedly a good way to behave to ask politely before touching someone, am I wrong?

[daisy girl]

This has happened to me a few times...mostly other women will ask to touch me...nothing racy, just my arm or so. I have had a few men ask, again, nothing racy just my arm or leg. It actually doesn't bother me. I am happy that they asked.

I have had people just touch without asking...rude!

[good times]

You know, I have been thinking about this question for a while and finally have come to the realization that I don't recall ever being asked if a woman could touch me. I have had several women ask if they could give me a blow job, but have never had any women ask if they could touch me, they have just did it. So I really can't answer this question because I am not sure how I would react if one asked first. The first couple of times it happened that a woman touched me in what vanilla's would consider inappropriate ways, I was a bit surprised and had the same thought as some others here, that it was a double standard, because I am sure that I wouldn't get away with it if the situation were reversed. But I have to admit, I have kind of gotten used to it happening once in a while now and really don't give it much thought any more. My reaction when a woman touches me uninvited depends on how attracted I am to her. If I find the woman attractive I generally encourage her to continue. If I am not attracted to her then I politely tell her to keep her hands to herself.

[spectraschain]

I'm sorry being a swinger and dressing sexy does not give someone the right to violate a woman at the club.

No it does not. This kind of thing isn't tolerated at Hedo during January, it damn sure shouldn't be tolerated anywhere else...

That being said, Spectra is very accomadating when it comes to the gentlemen, but God help you if you cross the line.

Now, I'd never even know about this "line-crossing", she wouldn't enlist me, but dude probably wouldn't forget it....

[joseph3d]

These are very interesting answers. I did my best in coming up with poll selections; I realize not every answer fits optimally with this poll. I promise to put more thought into my next poll.