Swinger Clubs vs Night Clubs

[JustAskJulie]

I've about come to the conclusion that people who don't like regular night clubs probably won't like swinger clubs... and something else I've noticed is that quite often the complaints I see about many of the swinger clubs are the same issues that you would deal with at a regular night club (things like loud music and smoke). I guess it makes me wonder what people expect?

I'm interested in getting some feedback from those who maybe don't like nightclubs but do like swinger clubs - if that's the case, what is it you don't like about nightclubs? Or do you stick to swinger clubs that don't have a social area (or just stay out of the social area)?

I think for those who don't like the night club type atmosphere that maybe house parties would probably be the best option. But then where does that leave newbies that don't like night clubs, and don't want to get thrown right in the deep end at a house party?

Example: For us, we've always really enjoyed going to night clubs and dancing together. So when we started attending a local swinger group (that happens to take over a night club) it was a perfect next step. It was an environment we were already comfortable with and then we added to that environment some really cool people who were much more open and sociable than we'd ever meet at a night club. The next step was an on-premise club that has a great social area that has a night club feel to it. If you took the play areas out of Menages and they sold alchohol it could easily compete with any major night club. Again perfect next step. A great environment with an improvement... now when we get horny we can just step upstairs and do whatever we want instead of having to wait till we get back home. But, that's us... we like the night club environment. I can't imagine those who don't like that environment enjoying either of those clubs we've visited together.

I swear this was a coherent thought in my head but I don't know if it came out that way above.

[WesternSwing]

I wish we had on-premise clubs in Utah, but we don't. The best we get is regular night clubs that close down to the public one night a month for a "couples night". So we really don't have anything to compare it to.

But, if I could design one I would take the best from the most popular night club in the area and add both public and private playrooms available for the club attendees.

We do like the club parties we have though because as you said, it is less pressure than a house party, and sometimes we really just want to socialize.

They both serve their purpose at different times, I guess.

Mr. WS

[good times]

I know what your trying to ask Julie as we know some people that don't like the "night club" type of clubs. Those people seem to prefer house parties.

We on the other hand, don't care for house parties as much as the night club style of clubs, we have both in Reno. I realize that it isn't exactly what you were asking but our main problem with the house party style of club is that, if you aren't interested in playing with anyone there on a particular night, their is nothing else to do.

We have one house party style club in Reno that hosts parties every weekend, they have a hot tub and a pool table, and even though the hot tub can accommodate a dozen people or more at a time, if their are 30 or 40 couples there but no one you are interested in hooking up with, it is a pretty boring place to spend the evening. If they had dancing, on the other hand, it would be a whole different place and a good time could be had whether you hooked up with anyone that night or not. I think that the only reason the house party style club can stay in business here is because they have private play rooms, all of the night club style clubs here only have public/group play areas. So unless we just can't wait, we usually end up going somewhere else to play when we go to the night club style on-premise clubs here, usually to the couples house that is closest.

[VanHlebar]

Hi Julie,

This is a timely topic as I was just discussing this with a friend of our a couple of days ago.

MrsVan and I are not big on regular clubs but I think it has more todo with the prevailing attitude at the night clubs than anything else. That and the fact that most clubs in our area cater to the 20 something crowd and well..we don't really want to hang out with that crowd regularly. Most regular clubs we have been to the patrons are plaij rude and obnoxious. On the other hand, the swinger clubs we like the best are those that have a night club feel to them. We do enjoy dancing and as you have already said..we can take things to the next level if we want.

So for us I think it has more to do with the attitude of the patrons than anything else at the regular night clubs.

-Van

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by good times

I know what your trying to ask Julie as we know some people that don't like the "night club" type of clubs. Those people seem to prefer house parties.

We on the other hand, don't care for house parties as much as the night club style of clubs, we have both in Reno. I realize that it isn't exactly what you were asking but our main problem with the house party style of club is that, if you aren't interested in playing with anyone there on a particular night, their is nothing else to do.

I think you caught the jist of what I was saying/asking.

A good example of this is something we just experienced on SLS. A couple contacted us and due to our current situation (long distance) we are only meeting people at the social or the club that we enjoy going to... ie. when we are already out, rather than making plans specifically to meet other couples. This couple contacted us initially expressing interest and we responded in kind and explained our situation and that we only meet people (currently) at the social or the club when we go. They responded that they don't like socials "places where people look at you like you are fresh meat". My reply was that it really depended on the club and that yes some are that way.... and that if they didn't like the general (night club) scene then they probably wouldn't enjoy socials. And if they didn't like the night club scene they probably wouldn't hit it off with us. They replied back with a pretty rude attitude that they do like clubs and are in fact VIP members at most local clubs that they just like to be with one couple and not 3 or 4 at a time... so they weren't interested in us anymore. THen they blocked us. This left us with a bit of WTF?! wondering if they had ever actually been to a swinger club or if they just had this misguided view of clubs in their head that it was all wild sex orgies. It also made me wonder if they ever bothered to read our profile since we aren't even looking to swap (not even soft) at this point.

I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people they either assume that all clubs are the same and visit one and figure they are all just like that one. Or they never visit any just assuming they know what they are.

[Mr. Truelove]

I completely agree with Van here. I noticed this recently at a local night club. All night it was crowded, and people were rudely pushing their way through others, and often getting verbal about it.

Also, at one point I saw a person flick a lit cigarette over everyone's heads in the dance floor. Which I might have taken to a staff member if it wouldn't have taken me 10 minutes just to get off the floor. It was that incredibly crowded. And the music was so loud that it was impossible to talk to the people directly next to you, even shouting.

Needless to say, I didn't care for that club. But it was not my choice. A certain birthday girl chose, and what she wants on her birthday she gets.

The swing clubs I have been to so far have been to the opposite. For one, they are much less crowded. You can actually hear the people next to you. And the people are on their best behavior.

I also don't see any "thugs" at swing clubs.

But that could just be my experience with it.

Mr. Truelove

[Swingercast]

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

I also don't see any "thugs" at swing clubs.

Right again, Mr. Truelove.
But I've seen Jungle Safaris, Naughty School Girls, and lots of Pirates.

I think Julie hit the nail on the head. I'd never thought about this and I think you are right. Too bad for the obnoxious couple but good for you that they showed their true colors before you met them.

We visited a club a few weeks ago (they're not listed on TSB and I'm going to contact them so they can get with the program). It is a great club but the reason I bring it up is that it was located in an area where I had never seen a club before; an industrial warehouse district. Now, I'm sure there are other clubs set up like this but our experience with clubs has been limited to California, Mexico, Nevada and Washington.

Most of the clubs we have visited have been in large homes that have been converted into a night club. Or in one instance a building that was once an elementary school.

If any of you are thinking of opening a club you might want to consider this option. By day the place appears to be a studio (no, its not LA Couples) but at night it's an on-premise club. Since the parties are always on weekends there is plenty of parking, no neighbors around and it is close to many hotels.

Back to the original discussion. Dancing is always a big part of the night for us and one of the main reasons we like going to clubs. At the Lifestyles Convention we met a few couples who were "too shy" to get on the dance floor but later that night I saw them completely naked back in the group rooms. That made me shake my head and wonder, "You're too afraid to dance in public but you've got no problem showing your moves in the group room?"

John

[good times]

I wouldn't get to excited about the people blocking you on SLS Julie, happens to us every once in a while too. It could be because we have the same M.O. as you do, we will only meet people at one of the local clubs, and yea, we too have had people take that the wrong way and get a little put out by it.

Our clubs in Reno are a little different than most places as all but one are regular bars except that they cater to the lifestyle, kind of like the gay bars are just a bar that cater to gays.

I would also add that the owners of the club in a house here say they are going to add a dance floor when they get the second level open, but they have been saying that for over a year with very little progress, so I am not the only one that is getting a bit skeptical that they will ever actually finish the club. I wish they would get it done as it would also more than double the size of the club which is really needed on the nights when they are busy. In fact, I don't know if they can see it, but it is really hurting their club as we know several couples that won't go there any more because they say they are bored with it as it is. To bad because they have done a really nice job with it so far and it is the classiest club by far in Reno. All the bar type clubs here are pretty much dives, but they can be fun on the right night.

[sereneiders]

Here we have several swingers clubs, all of them having the night club "format", and we're ok with this. However, by the New Year weekend we attended an on-premise swinger club in another city having a pub "format". It has a little dance floor, but mostly a long bar and tables, besides the reserved area.

In one hand it was a nice place, low music, you can talk with people without screaming over the music, however, as we entered the place we've seen most of the couples isolated on their own tables. We were introduced to the club owners, two swinger couples who told us they run the club because there wasn't one before since as a business they come out even.

It called our attention that there was a group of people who knew each other, who did most of the action and went to the reserved area, while a lot of the couples who were sat at the tables when we entered remained there, isolated, and ende up leaving the place, and I believe the night club "format" forces people to interact with each other in a way that is forbidden when you have a lot of tables in your way.

I wonder how usual is the pub format for swingers clubs.

[Mr. Truelove]

Originally Posted by Swingercast

"You're too afraid to dance in public but you've got no problem showing your moves in the group room?"

John

Haha, so true!

Mr. Truelove

[tribbles]

There are two house parties that have pools but no dancing. One of them also has a pool table and while a new couple or single would have to be able to cope with seeing sex in the pool-and at one around the pool, there are places in the houses to sit and chat where there is no sex. No sex at the pool table or a sitting room near there.


Maybe other house parties need a sex free zone for people to sit and relax like these two have?


I do love all the choices here in SoCal.....

S

[ohcpl43952]

Personally, I don't like the bar scene. Don't know if that's quite a 'night club' or not. Too many drunks, barflies, and attitude agendas there.

Swing clubs seem to rule most of those undesirables out. Plus at most bars/clubs, you can't get too racy. At a swing club, we all know why we're there and have no problems with overtly sexual behavior.... with or without clothing.

[modrunner]

Julie

My wife and I own a nightclub in Northern Utah and have some insight into this. LOL

My wife prefers the nightclub seen since it is about flirting and the chase. She also loves dancing to music she likes. Our club is non-alcoholic and smoke free so she really likes that. When she goes to the clubs in Salt Lake she has to deal with the smoking and the drunks. She has asthma that is triggered by smoke and that puts a damper on the evening. But she does like the fact that 20 somethings come on to her and think she is 20 something as well(she's mid 30s).

She does not like the idea of swing clubs where it is likely that she'll run into people having sex. She is ready and willing to have threesomes, but the fact of straight out sex in public doesn't do anything for her. She is somewhat reserved, and somewhat a sex animal. LOL

I just like for her to have a good time and enjoy the effects of her night out.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I've about come to the conclusion that people who don't like regular night clubs probably won't like swinger clubs... and something else I've noticed is that quite often the complaints I see about many of the swinger clubs are the same issues that you would deal with at a regular night club (things like loud music and smoke). I guess it makes me wonder what people expect?

I'm interested in getting some feedback from those who maybe don't like nightclubs but do like swinger clubs - if that's the case, what is it you don't like about nightclubs? Or do you stick to swinger clubs that don't have a social area (or just stay out of the social area)?

We love nightclubs if the music is good and the people there are cool. What we don't like in nightclubs or swinger clubs: Smoke! It really cramps our style. We do the best we can to deal with it, because in our area there are no smoke-free clubs of any kind. If we want to dance, and we do, we have to go into the smoke factory.

There are just two things that sometimes make us cut the evening short because these things just ruin the evening for us: smoke (especially when it's really bad), and obnoxious people. What IS it with these morons who are smoking on a crowded dance floor (I almost got hit in the face with a burning butt last night), and with drinks in their hand, sloshing it all over the dance floor while they dance? It makes me want to choke them with their stupid sideways visor. This crowd of assholes doesn't usually come into the dance club we hang out at, but they were there last night, unfortunately. :rollseyes

When we've visited swinger clubs out of town, we love the social area. We wouldn't like a swing club that didn't have a social area to mingle in, first. In our experiences, the people are cool and the dancing is hot.

Our dream club would be one with a big dance floor, plenty of space all around, great ventilation, great music, a dress code (no ball caps, no hoodies, etc.), and no smoking indoors. This dream club concept would be our ideal for regular nightclubs and swinger clubs. I've never been in a club like this, as far as I can recall. We really need to win the lottery and build it ourselves.

House parties: limited number of experiences for us so far, but just as smoky as clubs (gag), pushy/grabby men (unlike what we've experienced in swinger clubs), no dancing, not even decent music playing. We've been invited to a different house party with different people. We'll give it a shot. Hope it's better than what we've been to so far.

[prettylady]

I use to go to night clubs all the time when I was in my twenties. Now I am not one to get all sexy and trampy, but my friends were. So we would all be hanging out getting ready, they would be putting on their faces tight jeans baby Ts. Then we would hit the club and they would carry on about this slut or that scank. I found that funny because these trashy tarts at the club did no more to get ready then my girlfriends did. What is up with that.
At the Lifestyle clubs the ones who dress and act sexy are the ones who are admired by the men and women. There are no scanks, tramps, or sluts at the lifestyle clubs. OK so there are, but the terms are endearing not a slam.
I find I can be myself at a lifestyle club, what ever myself chooses to be that night. A cute smart ass, or a sexy temptress. OK, cute smartass always wins out. But I think you get my point.
Your friend,
Prettylady