Newbie confused about clubs. Are there unspoken rules?

[BlkHTownCouple]

My boyfriend and I went to a swingers club for the FIRST time this weekend. I've read many threads here in preparation for the experience. We are both 21, very young, HWP, and attractive. We were there from about 11PM-1:15AM. But NOT ONE couple or person spoke to us while we were there (besides the host of course). We were too new and afraid to just walk up to any other couples and start a conversation. We didn't know what to say if we did decide to do that. Is there some sort of rule about mingling in swingers clubs that we don't know about? What could we have done differently?
confused newbie
~asia~

[BiloxiCouple]

Besides being young, did you have anything else that told others that you were newbies?

Did you try talking to others?

It all starts with a "Hello, my name is Billy, this is my wife Elaine. Can we sit with you and talk for a couple of minutes?" The talking for a couple of minutes gives you a polite way out of a bad conversation or may lead to a new friendship.

Remember, it's not the other couples fault at the party that you didn't mingle.

[jandg]

If you sit back and wait for others to walk up to you, you could be in for a long wait. Don't be afraid to get into the mix.

If there's a pool table, play some pool. Gails and I have lots of fun at the Vegas Red Rooster playing nine ball and getting to know people.

If there's a dance floor, get up and dance (better yet, get up and dance with someone else).

If there's a hot tub, strip down and jump in.

Talk to the bartenders, they can often point you to others that may share similar interests. Deb, one of the bartenders at the Rooster is very good at this.

Don't be afraid to walk up to others and introduce yourselves. Compliment the women on their dress, shoes, jewelry, whatever it takes to get the conversation started. The most they'll say is that they are not interested, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Hope this helps.

[Thrax]

If you're not ashamed of your newbishness, and there isn't any reason you should be, then maybe you can use that to get a conversation going.

Approach a couple, introduce yourselves, tell them you're new and ask them if they'd mind trying to answer some questions for you about the club. If you happened upon folks that have been going to the club for awhile, they are likely to be happy to impart their wisdom. You might ask, "What time of night do you think the club is the liveliest," or "Does the music selection vary on different nights," or "Why did you consider joining (or coming to) this club?" Just ask open-ended questions to let them know you want their opinions.

And don't be surprised if you find yourself talking to some other n00bs. And realize that they might be downright relieved that someone started a conversation with them.

If nobody responds positively at first, don't sweat it. Some people are friendly and some aren't, just like people in the vanilla world. Keep trying. Once you find a couple to talk to you can at least get some questions answered. Also, whether you eventually play with that particular couple or not, you can probably use your conversation as a springboard to meet their friends and get introductions to other members.

Good luck!

Thrax

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by BlkHTownCouple

My boyfriend and I went to a swingers club for the FIRST time this weekend. I've read many threads here in preparation for the experience. We are both 21, very young, HWP, and attractive. We were there from about 11PM-1:15AM. But NOT ONE couple or person spoke to us while we were there (besides the host of course). We were too new and afraid to just walk up to any other couples and start a conversation. We didn't know what to say if we did decide to do that. Is there some sort of rule about mingling in swingers clubs that we don't know about? What could we have done differently?
confused newbie
~asia~

We found that too when we first started going. You have to be extroverted...walk up to people and introduce yourself and make friends. Remember, they don't know you or if you want to be just a couple, so most people don't want to intrude into your space. So just relax, and let your personality come through.

[WildMiCouple]

Sheesh.....can't believe the others haven't enlightened you, Asia. Ok.....here's the unwritten rules for all clubs. Actually, these are the rules for newbies. I'm very surprised the Hosts didn't hand you a copy and go over them with you.

1) Newbies are absolutely positively not allowed to talk to other couples. They are only allowed to speak when approached by other veteran couples.

2) If/when a single male approaches you about hooking up, you cannot turn him down. Doing so will result in your club membership being revoked and you will be asked to leave.

3) If, after your first hour inside the club and you haven't been approached by another couple, you must remove one(1) article of clothing. After 2 hours.....2 articles of clothing and so forth. Should you not want to find yourself nude......better start like mad at other couples.

4) If you do find yourself nude, due to your lack of success in attracting others, you must promptly have sex with each other in front of everyone that chooses to watch. Once this happens, you'll be considered veterans of the club. And as veterans (this is the really good part)..... you'll be home free as you'll be allowed to approach others to engage in conversation. Once you begin to engage in conversation with others......a whole new world opens up for you two

Good luck Asia and I hope this helps clears up your confusion

Brett

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

Brett, you just slay me

By the way don't believe a word he says. Just be yourself and don't be afraid to introduce yourselves if you find someone that interests you! Tell them you are new, that is always a conversation starter.

Blessings
Mrs. PaganLovers