Have swing clubs become the new zoo?

[JustAskJulie]

We were out at a social last night talking to a few couples and one of them brought up how it seems like lately at the on-premise clubs their new pet peeve is couples who show up with no intention of doing anything (not even each other), they are just there "to watch". Has going to a swing club to watch the "animals" become a new form of entertainment?

Do you find this to be true at the club(s) you frequent that more and more of those attending are just there to watch?

I remember a post here sometime back from someone annoyed because they'd gone to a swinger club just to "watch" and they didn't get to see anything because no one was doing anything. Will we eventually see a cycle completed as more and more of the on-lookers show up to the point that even the on-premise clubs become nothing but social clubs, as the real swingers get tired of being monkeys at the zoo and take their play elsewhere?

How do you feel about being watched at a club? Do you enjoy it? Does it annoy you?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

How do you feel about being watched at a club? Do you enjoy it? Does it annoy you?

Watching is EVERYWHERE. Just last night we met a couple who were just checking out the place and their complaint... No one was having sex so that they could watch. My smart ass retort was, "gee, hon," to Mrs Spoo, "we should go have sex for them" :rollseyes

I will never figure out why people feel that paying their door fee suddenly obligates everyone in the club to cater to their desire.

Friday night we were playing with some friends at a different club. It is a very nice, clean place, but it is IMPOSSIBLE to get privacy. The "walls" between rooms are curtains that can be pulled back and stepped through at a whim. Which sort of makes the locks on the doors pretty useless.

From the single guy who managed to wander in and sit down (no one saw him come in because, well, we were busy) to the blond chick leading a pack of college age, Spring Break looking folks in and saying, "do you mind if we watch?"

I looked up at her - from a rather intense moment with a rather intense playmate - and said, "is that a camera phone?"

"Well, yeah," blondie says, "but I am just calling more friends to tell them to come up."

"No," I said. "You can't watch. Go away."

So - yeah - not only were her and her "group" going to watch, she was calling a crowd. Flattered as I was that we could have the entire student section of an OSU football game watching me in the midst of my "mojo" - it still completely ruined the moment and we were unable to regain our traction...

Tires sliding over ice...

I left thinking that - clean or not - if this club can't put up a couple of walls, I'm not going to waste my money any more.

Good or bad timing - this question comes on the very weekend where I felt like a celebrity... Everywhere I went, someone was watching...

I think it is the "new zoo" in a lot of ways. And while I am a bit of an exhibitionist and don't mind being watched, I at least want to plan for it - ask for it - and be prepared to play to a crowd. On this night - we locked the doors and pulled the curtain/walls for a reason.

I don't have a problem with couples who want to voyuer. On the other hand, there should be some common sense involved.

1. We did not come there to entertain you.
2. If you are not invited, don't avail.

I am thinking that clubs will eventually have to respond to voyuers with a seperate set of rules.

Spoomonkey

[prettylady]

Well good god that is just plain ignorant.
I want to go to a swing club to see whats up. I have every intention on getting busy with Dog, may or may not with another couple. wait and see. But that makes me a little uncomfortable to know that some college brat is going to be hanging out with her girls watching me. I like to perform for Dog, and maybe in the future other serious swingers. But not this type of crowd.
Are the single ladies getting to be what the single guys are perceived as? Just asking
Your friend,
Prettylady

[TNT]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

How do you feel about being watched at a club? Do you enjoy it? Does it annoy you?

There are times that it annoys the hell out of me...There are also times I don't mind being watched...however, when I'm being watched I want the watchers to be naked too.

Someone going to a club for the first time to just "check it out" does not bother me...most newbies are not comfortable on their first, second or even third visit to want to participate in any way. Those that are going "just" to watch a free sex show with no intentions of ever participating can stay at home and watch a porn movie, IMO.

One club that we went to had a voyeur/exhibitionist room that was separate from the other rooms, which were private...to even be able to watch you had to be naked before entering the room...this set-up, to me, is the way it should be. With everyone being naked it makes a more level playing field.


Teresa

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by TNT

One club that we went to had a voyeur/exhibitionist room that was separate from the other rooms, which were private...to even be able to watch you had to be naked before entering the room...this set-up, to me, is the way it should be. With everyone being naked it makes a more level playing field.

While Ohio is a pretty active state for swingers, our clubs have a lot to learn

Spoomonkey

[She_n_Jaybee]

Popcorn! Peanuts! Get your Programs! Can't tell the Players without a Program!

I think my response to the Valley Girl and her entourage would have been: "Sure, you can watch, just as soon as you all get naked". Then I would have turned to the group we were playing with and said "Let's help them get their clothes off". They probably would have broke a couple of nails getting out of there.

Our problem isn't necessarily with being watched, we enjoy that and enjoy some audience participation (which occasionally turns into a great mob scene). The problem we run into are the cheerleaders or commentators, that could take some lessons from golf commentators. It seems that every visit to a club there is one person that's never learned to moderate their volume. We're not talking screams, grunts, groans or even squeeks (maybe someone out there knows her?) or passion. Even the occasional porno dialogue isn't a problem (Oh yeah! Ride that big thing! Do Me! Do Me!). It's the "Hey Look at that! Damn! Someone run and get me another beer, so I don't miss this", that has a tendency to spoil the moment. If the clubs we frequent allowed smoking in the back areas, they'd probably try to balance their ashtray on my ass (or whatever part of the body isn't moving too much).

Of course, we figured this was due to the riff-raff, those couples that show up for a night of watching 4 times a year as an alternative to viagara. They watch others, get drunk, then go home and pass out while trying to remember what an erection is supposed to look like. Last night we had a perfect chance to test the "occasional riff-raff" theory. Our favorite club had an "invitation only" party. The owners only invited a select group of couples. A great idea, and a great time. But, there was one woman, with a voice like Phyllis Diller, who was playing tour guide with her friends. "There's some fuckin' going on back here, lot's of great fuckin', look at all the fuckin'," ad nauseum.

My thoughts have always ben that the play areas should be treated like a church in regards to conversation. Keep it to a whisper and don't interrupt the religious experiences taking place.

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Watching is EVERYWHERE. Just last night we met a couple who were just checking out the place and their complaint... No one was having sex so that they could watch. My smart ass retort was, "gee, hon," to Mrs Spoo, "we should go have sex for them" :rollseyes

Did the couple respond to that retort? Geez, that's just rude. I wasn't aware that by our entry into the club, we had to have sex just for everyone else's entertainment. No wonder I generally prefer the rooms with doors and walls.

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I think it is the "new zoo" in a lot of ways. And while I am a bit of an exhibitionist and don't mind being watched, I at least want to plan for it - ask for it - and be prepared to play to a crowd. On this night - we locked the doors and pulled the curtain/walls for a reason.

I don't have a problem with couples who want to voyuer. On the other hand, there should be some common sense involved.

1. We did not come there to entertain you.
2. If you are not invited, don't avail.

I am thinking that clubs will eventually have to respond to voyuers with a seperate set of rules.

I'm sorry that situation happened to you, Mrs. Spoomonkey, and your friends. That's just unfortunate.

If it's beginning to be a trend/pattern, is there anything that can be done to reverse it? Would politely complaining to management do anything? Or is it going to turn into a matter that "If you don't like it, take your money elsewhere"?

I'm sure that others are like us that it costs some cash to head out to the clubs. That's how we choose to spend our money, but at the same time, I don't want my evenings to end badly or to feel like an animal in a zoo or feel like I just blew $75+ just to feel like a piece of meat or performance art. That's why I thought we were going to the clubs to begin with - to be with like-minded individuals and not feel like freaks (unless we want to feel freaky, mind you).

In any case, it's an interesting dilemma - thanks for posting your story.

Rebecca

[JTcamp05]

It think it sure does make a difference if they are there "just" to watch or to be involved. he single guy who doesn't get undressed stand's off to the side with a creapy look..... should be shown the door!!!

On the other hand if first time couples wish to come and mingle, take a few clothes off, and play with themselves, I say go for it. Sooner or later they will want to join in.

I would just assume they didn't let singles unless they are "with" a couple. But I do remember our first club/party..... I was watching a lady with a few bed on the bed and I remarked to someone "You think they mind if were just watching" .....they reply was if they chose to perform in the public area they "want" to be watched. So I didn't feel so bad about watching.

[Menage_a_Trois]

This has been a major topic in our household lately. It seems like there are a lot more people coming to the clubs that are only interested in watching. We have heard more than one of them utter the term "live porn".

We are in total agreement with Spoo and Teresa on this thread. All of us in the lifestyle have a bit of a voyeur in us. We all get a charge out of seeing our SO with someone else or others having sex. And like Teresa said – “With everyone being naked it makes a more level playing field.” And who doesn't look when others are running around naked. For us clubs have always been a place where we are free to participate in the lifestyle.

For some that is just socializing, (we have done that on many occasions), for others it is meeting people and going off to play (isn't this really what we are in the lifestyle for anyway, well at least the ones who are REALLY in the lifestyle). We have been to many clubs that have an area specifically geared towards meeting the needs of the couples who enjoy having others watch them, thus providing a place for voyeurism. Those of us who want to enjoy the play areas of a club have always had an unspoken understanding that from time to time you may see or be seen naked or having sex. The key part of this was that all of us are participants in the lifestyle. We get just a little pissed, at people who think that if they pay to get into a club that they are in the lifestyle and are therefore somehow entitled to get to watch. Sorry but it doesn't work that way!

Clubs are a place for REAL swingers/lifestyle people to meet other people, get acquainted, perhaps play, and PARTICIPATE in the lifestyle. It is not a place for people to come and watch a live sex show! Theses people are NOT swingers and that is NOT what the lifestyle is all about. We have always felt like they are an unwanted intrusion at clubs.

Another pet peeve has been when you invest your time trying to get to know a couple only to find out they are never going to play because they are the Lookie Lou’s only there to get all worked up and go home hot and bothered for each other………..oh well this is a topic for another thread……

Tom, Annie & Pam – The Ménage’s

[BERNICE]

Yes, yes and yes! I have begun to be irritated by the people, mostly college types, that show up late (after midnight or so) after having been at a vanilla club, having had a few drinks, then decideing "hey, I heard about this place thats hott". They stand around and watch, waiting for their "live porn" show.
I appreciate the comments and suggestions of everyone, mostly the reverence for silence, dont need a cheering section, thank you very much. Need to even up the playing field also, if they're watching they have to be nekkid too.
I enjoy exhibitionism and some voyeurism but draw the line when some joker pulls out a phone. You never know these days with all that techie stuff. Not that my ass is so special, I just dont want it out there for free, ya know?

[Tia Vampire]

I agree totally. Evan as a newbie mysels I wouldn't want anyone looking at me. It just adds to the pressure. When i do go to a swing club I'm going to have a fantacy fulfilled, not to be staired at like an animal at the zoo.

[Tia Vampire]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Watching is EVERYWHERE. Just last night we met a couple who were just checking out the place and their complaint... No one was having sex so that they could watch. My smart ass retort was, "gee, hon," to Mrs Spoo, "we should go have sex for them" :rollseyes

I will never figure out why people feel that paying their door fee suddenly obligates everyone in the club to cater to their desire.

Friday night we were playing with some friends at a different club. It is a very nice, clean place, but it is IMPOSSIBLE to get privacy. The "walls" between rooms are curtains that can be pulled back and stepped through at a whim. Which sort of makes the locks on the doors pretty useless.

From the single guy who managed to wander in and sit down (no one saw him come in because, well, we were busy) to the blond chick leading a pack of college age, Spring Break looking folks in and saying, "do you mind if we watch?"

I looked up at her - from a rather intense moment with a rather intense playmate - and said, "is that a camera phone?"

"Well, yeah," blondie says, "but I am just calling more friends to tell them to come up."

"No," I said. "You can't watch. Go away."

So - yeah - not only were her and her "group" going to watch, she was calling a crowd. Flattered as I was that we could have the entire student section of an OSU football game watching me in the midst of my "mojo" - it still completely ruined the moment and we were unable to regain our traction...

Tires sliding over ice...

I left thinking that - clean or not - if this club can't put up a couple of walls, I'm not going to waste my money any more.

Good or bad timing - this question comes on the very weekend where I felt like a celebrity... Everywhere I went, someone was watching...

I think it is the "new zoo" in a lot of ways. And while I am a bit of an exhibitionist and don't mind being watched, I at least want to plan for it - ask for it - and be prepared to play to a crowd. On this night - we locked the doors and pulled the curtain/walls for a reason.

I don't have a problem with couples who want to voyuer. On the other hand, there should be some common sense involved.

1. We did not come there to entertain you.
2. If you are not invited, don't avail.

I am thinking that clubs will eventually have to respond to voyuers with a seperate set of rules.

Spoomonkey

I hope my first time, I don't bother people who's been in the game for a while. I think us newbies are not really there to watch, but get into a sence of what to do and not to do. I'm happy my man wants to do this together, but in another way, I wish we had someone with us who knows the ropes. I know it would be more comforting to me.

[tribbles]

The club allows camera phones in the play area?

There needs to be a place phones are ok but not in a play area

We are slowly learning to actually report people who have camera phones or guys who wander away from their ladies to try to get in on something.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by tribbles

The club allows camera phones in the play area?

No - they don't...

But that doesn't mean they don't show up. Yes - we were pissed - but honestly once we chased them out, I was more interested in getting my traction back.

Spoomonkey

[good times]

While this doesn't seem to be new at the clubs we go to, it has seemed to increase in the last couple of years. We have even had people come up to us at the club and say "we are not swingers, but could we go watch you guys have sex?".

I think I am more sensetive to this problem than most because I don't like being watched at all. I am defenitely not an exhibitionist, if everyone in the room with me is not actively involved in the action, then I am out of there. Fortunately, our current favorite club has doors on the rooms that allow us to lock the lookers out.

We have been to a club on a slow night were most of the people there were just watchers. We actually got a pretty good laugh out of the knowledge that all these watchers got to sit around and watch each other doing nothing.

Like the Menage's said above, it is particularly discoruaging when you spend a considerable amount of time getting to know someone only to find out they are just voyeurs and have no desire to play with you. In fact, we have kind of gotten a little jaded about meeting new people because we seem to be a magnet for them lately. On the other hand, a couple of weeks ago we met a couple that, after talking with them for a while and getting a lot of vague answers about what they were in to, they finally said that they just wanted to watch. Yet, when we saw them at the club the next time, and were actully avoiding them, they finally cornered us and said that they had changed their mind and wanted to swap with us. So, I guess we can't just blow them all off, even though most of them are just a pain in the ass. This is one of those cases that I wish they were issued some form of indentifying mark at the door so we could steer clear of them though.