Have swing clubs become the new zoo?

Tybee Swing · 08-11-2006, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by couplenlove

we have never been to a club, we plan on going to one soon, but I would feel horrible if i couldn't have my cell phone. I have kids!!! while I don't have a camera on my phone I am always accessible to my children. The are old enough to stay alone while we go play but not old enough to handle an emergency. (16 & 13) I have a neighbor who keeps an eye on my house while we're gone and if they need immediate help she is there but they still need a way to contact us if something should happen.(god forbid), I would not like folks taking pics of me but I think there needs to be a balance for the parent, It's not like I can give my kids the # to the club.

The club I mentioned here - the one that doesn't allow any cell phones or other digital items beyond the front area - many people do bring their cell phones, and leave them checked securely at the front. They can go back to the front and check their phone for messages as often as they like. That's the balance. Many, many people at swing clubs are parents, too.

There are many kinds of hidden cameras these days. That's why electronic devices of any type aren't welcome inside of the club. I appreciate the levels this club goes to protect the privacy of members inside. I wouldn't want anybody owning a picture of me that I didn't want them to have. There is no telling what a person could do with that.

curious1103 · 08-11-2006, 01:39 PM

While we're still newbies ourselves and haven't had the nerve to ask others to join us or ask another couple to join them, we generally like to watch others at play, after all they left the curtain and door open. We consider it a privilege - and we watch in silence. We have reciprocated and played in a room with the curtain wide open for all to see, as my wife has a streak of exhibitionist in her, as well as feeling rather freaky that night. But it bothers the heck out of me when I'm able to hear the lookie-loos outside not even discussing sex, or what we're doing, or complaining that there's "no one playing," or that other play rooms have their windows and doors closed - NO! They're out there discussing politics, sports, and at one point, how their stocks fared that week!! For gosh sakes, take it out in the public area! Like spoo says, I'm trying to "get my mojo working" and it's been derailed by morons yacking it up outside, talking about everything but sex.

As a footnote I should say that I noticed a couple quietly watching us play and they seemed to be locked in each other's arms as they watched. Later that evening as my wife and I were leaving and gathering our stuff from our locker, a couple in their 50s (we're in our 30s-40s) came in and sat quietly in one of the benches and very politely excused themselves if they were intruding while my wife was getting undressed and completely naked while getting back into her street clothes, as they said their locker was next to ours. We said "no problem we'll be out of here shortly." They told us not to rush, the gentleman said he was enjoying the view, and then he said "we just wanted to thank you for the show back there. It was very nice," which his wife followed with "yes, it was very nice, thank you very much." Upon closer examination they looked like your neighborhood minister and the minister's wife: he had a cherubic face, steel-rimmed glasses and a gentle smile, and his wife pretty much mirrored his outlook, but without the glasses. Despite her wearing a very revealing lingerie, she still looked like a very classy, refined looking woman - worthy of a minister's wife!

When we got done we kinda lingered and talked pleasantries with them for a while as they gathered their stuff from their locker. We bid each other good night and went our separate ways. My wife and I talked about that night and that couple for days afterwards. It was nice to know that we made someone's night-out an enjoyable experience. I guess my point is they're not all that bad. It's the proverbial bad apples that ruin an otherwise pleasant evening for others.

couplenlove · 08-11-2006, 02:13 PM

I will strap it to my pussy put it on vibrate and constanly call myself with my hubbys phone. LOL , since I probably won't be a participant the first 2 times maybe I will get off.

I understand what you are saying, I have no problem with leaving it somewhere it is accessible I just want to be able to check it. If I'm involved in "the fun" I would not call the kids to check in. I just want to know they can contact me. You are correct that new technology is available and our parents certainly didn't have them but I do and i like it. I like being accessible to my kids 24/7, It makes me feel safe as long as they don't call I know they are probably safe. With a 13 year old boy safe is a relative term but as long as the phone doesn't vibrate I know he probably doesn't need stitches (Again!) I would put it on vibrate and leave it in my bag with my condoms, towels and such.

She_n_Jaybee · 08-11-2006, 08:13 PM

One of our favorite clubs did something I found unique last weekend. They had an invitation only party. The owners went through and invited a large number of couples that they felt would mesh well together, and also that were all participants. None of the "watchers" were invited. Ended up being a great night overall, although had one loud obnoxious woman interrupting things. But then I've already mentioned her. Being one of the invited couples made us feel good and the overall clientele that night was a cut above the normal (which is usually very good). Looking forward to the next one.

Back to the subject...

We're not opposed to watchers. Many of them are new couples, working up the courage to take the next step. Perhaps most will never become full swap couples, but a few will. Others will work up to soft swap, some will limit themselves to same-room activities and some will go away and never return. I don't see any advantage to telling them to put out or get out, or forcing nudity on them to observe. That will just chase many away and give them the impression they have to participate with anyone and everyone to be part of this lifestyle. If they are quiet and respectful, we have been told, it's a helluva show. Perhaps sitting down with the club owners and discussing the issues might help. See if they can be convinced to make "quiet and respectful in the play areas" stressed in the initial orientation.

Chicup · 08-11-2006, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by She_n_Jaybee

Many of them are new couples, working up the courage to take the next step.

I don't think so really. No one at a swing club is a virgin, they know what sex looks like, and I don't think watching others have sex is a stepping stone for most swingers. The first baby step in swinging seems to be same room sex, and thats a far cry from being just a watcher.

She_n_Jaybee · 08-12-2006, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicup

I don't think so really. No one at a swing club is a virgin, they know what sex looks like, and I don't think watching others have sex is a stepping stone for most swingers. The first baby step in swinging seems to be same room sex, and thats a far cry from being just a watcher.

I would be inclined to agree, except I have seen quite a few couples walk just that path when I was a somewhat regular at Club Chameleon (RIP) in Phoenix. One week I'd see a couple, obvious first-timers, standing and watching, maybe doing a bit of groping, but very reserved. a few weeks later they were the centerpiece on the grope room buffet. One couple, the woman wouldn't even look at the other couples. She kept turning away, would let him play with her, but anytime he tried to get her clothes out of the way, she'd put a stop to it. In the middle of my play, I kept observing (I love people watching). A few hours later she was the center of attention with her partner and 2 other couples.

Of course, there are a great number that are just as you say. They look, then run away. One of the disadvantages of freedom, there will be people that choose not to follow the path, and others that just sit on the sidelines and criticize us for our choices, but never make their own choice.

AZ Dreaming · 08-12-2006, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by She_n_Jaybee

when I was a somewhat regular at Club Chameleon (RIP) in Phoenix.

We sure miss CC.

Sorry.... back to the original topic.

Tybee Swing · 08-12-2006, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicup

I don't think so really. No one at a swing club is a virgin, they know what sex looks like,

They know what sex looks like as a participant (themselves and their partner), and they know what it looks like as a "spectator" from watching videos, internet, etc. But, being in the presence of other people having sex in front of you is a new and different experience to someone who's never been in a swing setting before. It can feel very bold and a little scary to even be in the club, and watching. Just going in the door certainly can be a first step for some people.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicup

and I don't think watching others have sex is a stepping stone for most swingers. The first baby step in swinging seems to be same room sex, and thats a far cry from being just a watcher.

Often people go in the first time "just to see". They don't want to commit to any activity right away (which many people here would agree is wise at first). They may agree with each other, "no play for now until we see how it goes". They don't know how things really go in a swing club, they don't know if they'll be comfortable with it, until they see it. Some of these couples go to that next step (what you call the first step) in a short time, even that same evening. Some will go to that next step (having sex with each other/same room) on the next visit or so. I've heard of this progression many times.

SnowwwWhite · 07-09-2008, 08:33 PM

If experienced swingers don't have patience with the newbies, where does that leave the quality of the lifestyle in the long run? Just because someone isn't actively swapping doesn't mean they're in the club to take advantage. Couples who are genuinely interested in the lifestyle should have plenty of time to gain a comfort level before getting involved. Trust me, we're nervous as hell and the last thing that will encourage us to participate is people rolling their eyes, giving dirty looks, or being rude. Be patient with the newbies!

Given that, clubs just need to get a handle on the random singles who show up and need to educate couples in advance so they know what's the polite way to watch. If I was a newbie who hadn't had the advantage of reading forums before going to a club, I would be clueless through no fault of my own. I'll bet most of the genuine newbies are just as nervous as you are annoyed. If they're doing something that is annoying, chances are they don't realize what they're doing is upsetting anyone. Encourage clubs to educate them... through rules on the website, signs in the bathrooms, or during an orientation.

Now the non-swingers who are treating it like a zoo, that's another story. Who really wants to see a flock of college girls gawking? Or a couple who never bothers to disrobe and play with each other while watching. Club managers should probably start coming up with some policies that limit that sort of thing.

Clubs could probably post some suggestions on their website encouraging couples who want to watch in private rooms to be at least partially nude, and give them the "lowdown" that it's polite for them to play with each other and/or be nude if they're in the presence of people playing. And maybe a subtle threat like "if repeated complaints are made about gawking, offenders could be barred at the door on future visits." Explain what gawking is so people don't feel like that's a mandate for them to swap or else. There's just a right way and a wrong way to ease into the lifestyle, right?

As for the vanilla college girls, that would have blown my evening, and I would not feel comfortable in that club again. If I wanted to be around an annoying group of 20 year-old college girls I'd go to a vanilla club. Shouldn't a swinger's club be a safe haven? FOR SWINGERS?

I suggest you talk to the club management and complain about it. Just because a group of cute girls shows up at the front door doesn't mean they should get in automatically. The girls were probably looking for a free, fun time after the vanilla bars closed or got boring. Maybe clubs could charge a steep admission for anyone (male or female) under 24. Or have a limit on how many single females can enter the club every hour. Or mandate that single females be accompanied by a couple on their first visit. Anything to get control of those types of situations.

Whatever you do, let the management know what happened... and make sure to mention that they had a camera phone! It's a great example of how non-swingers don't have respect for the lifestyle and SHOULD NOT be allowed to compromise everyone else's privacy and security.

VegasLee · 07-09-2008, 08:56 PM

Flocks of college girls are not the problem. They don't tend to come to Swinger Parties for their cheap thrills.

It is your average couple. MOST of the couples that come to Swingers clubs are NOT swingers.

Going to be a bit tough to tell a club owner to turn away what has become 50% to 70% of their business these days. The bills have to be paid.

90% of the complaints come from couples that there is not enough sex going on for them to watch. The other 10% is from single guys. These are all people that do not get undressed or play, they are only there to watch.

Chicup · 07-10-2008, 05:36 PM

wrong thread

knb2004 · 07-10-2008, 09:46 PM

The public club we frequent most often has a "towel or less" rule for the play area, so I can't say we've noticed a large number of lookey loos. Course once we get going, be it just the two of us or us plus 15 of our newest friends, we have a tendancy of not even noticing who is (or is not) watching.

I'm curious, Lee, how your club handles those complaints. I'd be tempted to say, "Well, next time take off your clothes and play, and more people will be playing!" I'm not sure, however, such an answer is in the spirit of good customer service, and as you said, real swingers or not, they are paying customers.

VegasLee · 07-10-2008, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knb2004

I'm curious, Lee, how your club handles those complaints. I'd be tempted to say, "Well, next time take off your clothes and play, and more people will be playing!" I'm not sure, however, such an answer is in the spirit of good customer service, and as you said, real swingers or not, they are paying customers.

I tend to not be a very PC person even though I do take care of people that come to the club.

More the once I have told them Videos are a lot cheaper and easier to watch. Have also told many of them Vegas has some great strip clubs if your looking for a show. Had one couple tell me they come to the club because the strip joints are to expensive!

***JustAskJulie*** · 07-11-2008, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VegasLee

More the once I have told them Videos are a lot cheaper and easier to watch. Have also told many of them Vegas has some great strip clubs if your looking for a show. Had one couple tell me they come to the club because the strip joints are to expensive!

Well, they do have a point. At $35 to get in and BYOB, the Rooster is cheaper than a lapdance at most of the strip clubs.

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08-11-2006, 01:39 PM	#47 (permalink)
curious1103 Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 39 Location: Indiana Status: Married couple	Re: Have swing clubs become the new zoo? While we're still newbies ourselves and haven't had the nerve to ask others to join us or ask another couple to join them, we generally like to watch others at play, after all they left the curtain and door open. We consider it a privilege - and we watch in silence. We have reciprocated and played in a room with the curtain wide open for all to see, as my wife has a streak of exhibitionist in her, as well as feeling rather freaky that night. But it bothers the heck out of me when I'm able to hear the lookie-loos outside not even discussing sex, or what we're doing, or complaining that there's "no one playing," or that other play rooms have their windows and doors closed - NO! They're out there discussing politics, sports, and at one point, how their stocks fared that week!! For gosh sakes, take it out in the public area! Like spoo says, I'm trying to "get my mojo working" and it's been derailed by morons yacking it up outside, talking about everything but sex. As a footnote I should say that I noticed a couple quietly watching us play and they seemed to be locked in each other's arms as they watched. Later that evening as my wife and I were leaving and gathering our stuff from our locker, a couple in their 50s (we're in our 30s-40s) came in and sat quietly in one of the benches and very politely excused themselves if they were intruding while my wife was getting undressed and completely naked while getting back into her street clothes, as they said their locker was next to ours. We said "no problem we'll be out of here shortly." They told us not to rush, the gentleman said he was enjoying the view, and then he said "we just wanted to thank you for the show back there. It was very nice," which his wife followed with "yes, it was very nice, thank you very much." Upon closer examination they looked like your neighborhood minister and the minister's wife: he had a cherubic face, steel-rimmed glasses and a gentle smile, and his wife pretty much mirrored his outlook, but without the glasses. Despite her wearing a very revealing lingerie, she still looked like a very classy, refined looking woman - worthy of a minister's wife! When we got done we kinda lingered and talked pleasantries with them for a while as they gathered their stuff from their locker. We bid each other good night and went our separate ways. My wife and I talked about that night and that couple for days afterwards. It was nice to know that we made someone's night-out an enjoyable experience. I guess my point is they're not all that bad. It's the proverbial bad apples that ruin an otherwise pleasant evening for others. Last edited by curious1103 : 08-11-2006 at 01:42 PM.

08-11-2006, 02:13 PM	#48 (permalink)
couplenlove Registered Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 8 Location: maryland Status: couple SLS Name:nlovecouple	Re: Have swing clubs become the new zoo? I will strap it to my pussy put it on vibrate and constanly call myself with my hubbys phone. LOL , since I probably won't be a participant the first 2 times maybe I will get off. I understand what you are saying, I have no problem with leaving it somewhere it is accessible I just want to be able to check it. If I'm involved in "the fun" I would not call the kids to check in. I just want to know they can contact me. You are correct that new technology is available and our parents certainly didn't have them but I do and i like it. I like being accessible to my kids 24/7, It makes me feel safe as long as they don't call I know they are probably safe. With a 13 year old boy safe is a relative term but as long as the phone doesn't vibrate I know he probably doesn't need stitches (Again!) I would put it on vibrate and leave it in my bag with my condoms, towels and such.

08-11-2006, 08:13 PM	#49 (permalink)
She_n_Jaybee Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 202 Location: SW Indiana Status: Couple	Re: Have swing clubs become the new zoo? One of our favorite clubs did something I found unique last weekend. They had an invitation only party. The owners went through and invited a large number of couples that they felt would mesh well together, and also that were all participants. None of the "watchers" were invited. Ended up being a great night overall, although had one loud obnoxious woman interrupting things. But then I've already mentioned her. Being one of the invited couples made us feel good and the overall clientele that night was a cut above the normal (which is usually very good). Looking forward to the next one. Back to the subject... We're not opposed to watchers. Many of them are new couples, working up the courage to take the next step. Perhaps most will never become full swap couples, but a few will. Others will work up to soft swap, some will limit themselves to same-room activities and some will go away and never return. I don't see any advantage to telling them to put out or get out, or forcing nudity on them to observe. That will just chase many away and give them the impression they have to participate with anyone and everyone to be part of this lifestyle. If they are quiet and respectful, we have been told, it's a helluva show. Perhaps sitting down with the club owners and discussing the issues might help. See if they can be convinced to make "quiet and respectful in the play areas" stressed in the initial orientation.

07-09-2008, 08:33 PM	#54 (permalink)
SnowwwWhite Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 98 Location: Home Status: Female	Re: Have swing clubs become the new zoo? If experienced swingers don't have patience with the newbies, where does that leave the quality of the lifestyle in the long run? Just because someone isn't actively swapping doesn't mean they're in the club to take advantage. Couples who are genuinely interested in the lifestyle should have plenty of time to gain a comfort level before getting involved. Trust me, we're nervous as hell and the last thing that will encourage us to participate is people rolling their eyes, giving dirty looks, or being rude. Be patient with the newbies! Given that, clubs just need to get a handle on the random singles who show up and need to educate couples in advance so they know what's the polite way to watch. If I was a newbie who hadn't had the advantage of reading forums before going to a club, I would be clueless through no fault of my own. I'll bet most of the genuine newbies are just as nervous as you are annoyed. If they're doing something that is annoying, chances are they don't realize what they're doing is upsetting anyone. Encourage clubs to educate them... through rules on the website, signs in the bathrooms, or during an orientation. Now the non-swingers who are treating it like a zoo, that's another story. Who really wants to see a flock of college girls gawking? Or a couple who never bothers to disrobe and play with each other while watching. Club managers should probably start coming up with some policies that limit that sort of thing. Clubs could probably post some suggestions on their website encouraging couples who want to watch in private rooms to be at least partially nude, and give them the "lowdown" that it's polite for them to play with each other and/or be nude if they're in the presence of people playing. And maybe a subtle threat like "if repeated complaints are made about gawking, offenders could be barred at the door on future visits." Explain what gawking is so people don't feel like that's a mandate for them to swap or else. There's just a right way and a wrong way to ease into the lifestyle, right? As for the vanilla college girls, that would have blown my evening, and I would not feel comfortable in that club again. If I wanted to be around an annoying group of 20 year-old college girls I'd go to a vanilla club. Shouldn't a swinger's club be a safe haven? FOR SWINGERS? I suggest you talk to the club management and complain about it. Just because a group of cute girls shows up at the front door doesn't mean they should get in automatically. The girls were probably looking for a free, fun time after the vanilla bars closed or got boring. Maybe clubs could charge a steep admission for anyone (male or female) under 24. Or have a limit on how many single females can enter the club every hour. Or mandate that single females be accompanied by a couple on their first visit. Anything to get control of those types of situations. Whatever you do, let the management know what happened... and make sure to mention that they had a camera phone! It's a great example of how non-swingers don't have respect for the lifestyle and SHOULD NOT be allowed to compromise everyone else's privacy and security.

07-09-2008, 08:56 PM	#55 (permalink)
VegasLee Laura's Male Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,277 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Status: Laura's Male	Re: Have swing clubs become the new zoo? Flocks of college girls are not the problem. They don't tend to come to Swinger Parties for their cheap thrills. It is your average couple. MOST of the couples that come to Swingers clubs are NOT swingers. Going to be a bit tough to tell a club owner to turn away what has become 50% to 70% of their business these days. The bills have to be paid. 90% of the complaints come from couples that there is not enough sex going on for them to watch. The other 10% is from single guys. These are all people that do not get undressed or play, they are only there to watch. __________________ Lee Lifestyles News *Remember when Swinging was about having sex?*

07-10-2008, 05:36 PM	#56 (permalink)
Chicup Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,180 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: Have swing clubs become the new zoo? wrong thread Last edited by Chicup : 07-10-2008 at 05:41 PM.

07-10-2008, 09:46 PM	#57 (permalink)
knb2004 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 158 Location: NYC Status: M. Couple SLS Name:knb2004	Re: Have swing clubs become the new zoo? The public club we frequent most often has a "towel or less" rule for the play area, so I can't say we've noticed a large number of lookey loos. Course once we get going, be it just the two of us or us plus 15 of our newest friends, we have a tendancy of not even noticing who is (or is not) watching. I'm curious, Lee, how your club handles those complaints. I'd be tempted to say, "Well, next time take off your clothes and play, and more people will be playing!" I'm not sure, however, such an answer is in the spirit of good customer service, and as you said, real swingers or not, they are paying customers.

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