On premise clubs-are the patrons less attractive?

[De and Ci]

Other than an on-premise club we visited in Mexico City that screeened customers for attractiveness. We haven't been to any on-premise clubs or party houses in our area. However, we have several friends who have visited a local on premise party house and some on-premise clubs. They have all told us that almost everybody there was overweight and unattractive. We go to 2 local off premise clubs and the quality of the crowd seems to be pretty much evenly distributed from good-looking to skanky. In fact an article in a Houston mag about a fairly new on-premise club also referred to the patrons as skanky and said they were told the clientele has gotton older and heavier since it opened. My theory is that when an on-premise club that does not screen opens for business. What happens is the better looking couples will stop attending if unattractive and obese couples start attending, since they are not interested in playing with them. Of course, if you are unattractive you are not going to have a problem with attractive members. So what happens is the club eventually draws only unattractive couples.
I would like to know if there are many on-premise clubs that screen for appearance, and if they do not, are all of the members unattractive and overweight.

[BorisNatasha]

There are 3 clubs in Denver that STRONGLY hint on their websites that their clientele "take pride in their appearance" and are "fit". Don't know what happens when an overweight person shows up. We're going to 2 of them this weekend for the first time so I guess I'll find out what everyone looks like.

Boris

[Spoomonkey]

I think it depends on the club. Our club doesn't screen and there is - as you said - a full spectrum of appearance.

It also depends on the area - if there are options - then chances are some couples who feel more attractive than the rest of the world will probably float around, depending on where all of the pretty people are supposed to go.

For us - we enjoy our club - even though there are nights when the club will be crowded, but there will be no one we are attracted to. The atmosphere, non-play friends we have made and our comfort levels keep us there.

Spoomonkey

[VegasLee]

We do not screen where we host. The owners have felt for 23 years that swinging is for everyone. Not just the "young pretty rich" people. We get a big mix of types, ages, sizes. You name it, we see it.

We used to have a nice couple in Vegas that ran "prescreened" parties and a club. They never had more then ten couples ever show up to a party that "fit" what the requirments where to get in. I lost some faith when they said I could come to their parties. Seems that the group that fit the requirments DID NOT PLAY. Dressed great, looked nice but all stood around and looked at each other. Big fashion show. The couple tried and tried to cater to the "pretty people" crowd and ended up closing down and not doing parties anymore. They did try hard for about four years. Maybe Vegas does not have enough pretty people? Most of the people that did end up at their parties where from out of town.

Beauty is only skin deep. Personality and attitude make for a great party and even better sex.

Some day all those Young pretty people are going to be older too. Hope they remember it.

[CA91709]

Mr, CA posting...
The Mrs. and I recently went to an on-premise club. The people there seemed to run the gamet of ages and body types. Some of the people where quite attractive. I would ques that it all depends on the club and how things are run.

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

Beauty is only skin deep. Personality and attitude make for a great party and even better sex.

Some day all those Young pretty people are going to be older too. Hope they remember it.

Well ok, I'm not saying we are supermodels or anything. But when we hear stories about all the women and guys being 200+ lbs, it will be hard for us to get thru the skin deep part. We know couples that we wouldn't play with cause we don't find them sexually attractive-but we are still friends with them. I guess when we get old and fat it won't matter to us who we play with but until then, it does get frustrating for us to go to a club and find everybody sexually unappealling and again I'm not talking about fashion model quality but flat out dumpiness.

[VegasLee]

DE and CI,

I agree with what your saying. No everyone is into everyone or everything. That is the great thing about swinging, something for everyone.

I was not "pointing" at you with that comment. I was making a general statement. In my life time in the lifestyle and yes, I am older, I have been to many parties and clubs. I have found that when I hit the "pretty" parties there is almost no action. I tend to stay away from them.

They are for some, not for me. See, something for everyone.

[Carol_Danny]

Any club that has a membership criteria of "attractiveness" is just a joke! The people that attend these clubs aren't "Swingers", as they have not yet grasped that concept of what the Lifestyle is about.

Who decides what is attractive and what isn't? Is my idea of beauty the same as everyone else's? You are held at the whim of the person running the club, and his (yes, I said HIS) idea of what he believes is attractive.

We went a few times to a couple of VERY exclusive swing clubs (Miami, New York, and Los Angeles), where everyone had to be approved solely on looks. These were not swing clubs, and were the most boring events I have ever been too. It was more about the posing and the "look at me" attitude than anything remotely close to Swinging.

We all have certain standards, and certain things we are looking for or that excite us. But to exclude people because they don't fit within someone's very narrow perception of "beauty" is ridiculous. We have always felt very sorry for people that feel that way.

[tulippe44]

I would probably never be aloud into a club for "pretty people". Please don't take that the wrong way, I would not consider myself unattractive or a BBW, however while I feel that I have an attractive face as I have gotten older and had two children, I have gained weight, I also take medication that causes weight gain, that I will take for the rest of my life. Now, I would never go to a club for only pretty people because I would be so intimidated. I would think that the majority of swingers are your average people. I don't know this as we are new, but that is my guess. But it is somewhat offensive to me to be judged solely on the way you look by an owner and not on personality at all. I am not in the 200+ group, but I would hate to see these people judged on the criteria. If it were the case to allow people into a club like this, my question would be is this owner(s) judgement something you truley trust. I mean, if the owner doesn't like red-heads, but you and your SO do you may never see a red-head in this club.(I am a red-head by the way) This would totally turm me off a club. We want to go somewhere that shows diversity and make our own decisions on what we do. Just my Opinion.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Carol_Danny

We all have certain standards, and certain things we are looking for or that excite us. But to exclude people because they don't fit within someone's very narrow perception of "beauty" is ridiculous. We have always felt very sorry for people that feel that way.

Dito

I have no doubt that Mrs Spoo and I would probably get into most any club, regardless of the criteria, but chances are, those clubs would not have the ecclectic mix of folks that we always enjoy.

When a couple comes who we are attracted to, we play. If that doesn't happen - we play pool and have a great time.

Spoomonkey

PS - I LOVE redheads!

[Chicup]

In my experience I'd have to say, yes on premise clubs do tend to have less attractive couples. We have been to two on premise clubs and a number of off premise events in our area. At the on premise clubs we are most likely the best or one of the best looking couples there. This isn't to say we are uberhots, but we stay in good shape and are not bad looking people. That doesn't mean they are all ugly at the clubs, but a majority we do not find attractive. We are also on the younger side for the clubs (early 30's) in our area.

At the off premise events we attend (through LL mostly, and LL has a lot of people really stuck on their looks) we are 'average', and far from the best looking people there. The problem is what others have pointed out though, there seems to be FAR less playing and a lot more 'clubing'. The girls dance, everyone shows off their outfits, new fake tits, and flirts, but everyone seems to leave on their own too. I'm not saying that no play happens, just a lot less than you would expect.

We have fun at both types of parties, though when we go to the off premises kind we go in expecting no play, and when we go to a club we have higher hopes (though we have run into our share of posers there too).

I think another issue for on premise clubs is like attracts like, and while they all have some diversity,
they seem to attract more of one kind of personality/looks. So while one club tends to be thin but 40+, the other is a bit younger, but heavier, and while we never went to it, we were told by good friends that a different one near by is mostly obese.

We personally like to go to an on premise club to meet new people we have already contacted from email, or people we already know. We had a great time at our last on premise event, but had we not been with a planned gathering we would have had a hard time finding couples we were attracted too.

[the 2 of us]

We have only been to on-prem accounts in PA and Ohio. Our taste in people tends to be those that are fit to very fit. We both find a fit muscular body very sexy.
I find it interesting that you say that on-prem folks are not as attractive. We just assumed that the demographics of swingers matched that of out population in terms of being over-weight and so on.
We are going to our first retreat – now it is being held by a on-prem place so we may not be exposed to anything different.

You sure have me curious –We may have to visit a few off-prem

[BodyScape02]

It is a simple fact of life... opposites do not attract... like seeks out like... if you are representative of only 2% ( models and the uber fit ) of society... then that is about the percentage of people you will find like you in any given situation.

Either way... hold to your standards...and search out what are comfortable playmates for you. You should never be forced to do anyone you do not find attractive. Simple as that.

In-so-far as club reviews go... remember... they are commenting on ONE night... hardly a valid sampling of what a club is... the type of people attending will ebb and flow... and yes... clubs eventually develop a core population that usually represents the closest population center, and is somewhat indicative of the owners ( big clue…meet the owners if you can… you will get a feel for the real heart of a club.. the owners of the club closest to us are really incredible people), but there are always new people attending … so the dynamic is fluid.

Fact is ... if you are picky you will play less than those who are indiscriminate... Then again...if you are picky you would rather have one great pair of monolo's than try on 100 pairs from payless. Your best bet is to ask another couple you like to meet you there… so you have a posse to hang out with. Safety in numbers sort of thing.

Go with someone you love and have fun... flirt and dance... There have been nights when I flirted with only Mr. Body...(he was the only one I found attractive)... they were some of the best nights of our lives.

Remember- There is something for everyone... and if "seeing" obese people naked upsets you... do what I do... DON"T LOOK ... and try to be polite… lol.

~Cat the far less than perfect

[JustAskJulie]

Lots of great points here.

Originally Posted by chicup

I think another issue for on premise clubs is like attracts like

Typically, you will find that ANY club is going to attract people similar to the people who host/run the club. It's as simple as Betty & Dave open a club, the first people they include are their friends, from there it branches out. There's always going to be a core group of people and those who don't find they fit in with that core group aren't going to stick around for long. It is valid to say that if someone attends a club and doesn't find many (or any) people that fit their criteria they probably won't come back. So what does that lead to in the looks dept. If a club is run by average folks, it will attract other average folks and probably a full gamut of people. If a club is run by less attractive/ overweight people then most likely you will also have somewhat of a mixture but the mixture will probably weight heavily (no pun, just couldn't think of a better term) towards larger people - simply because people feel comfortable with others like them. No one wants to go to a club and feel like they are the ugly duckling.

This theory goes beyond looks or on-premise clubs. Look at this board. There are many other swinger forums out there, and if you look around each has a different overall feel and attitude to it. You can bet that that attitude and feel is largely due to the people who run it (or fail to run it). People who share the same attitude will stick around, those who don't will leave.

I agree with others that said that most "pretty people" clubs are full of posers. They are more concerned with their looks than anything else. They all already believe they are the prettiest person in the room. There are a lot of VERY attractive people who would never attend a club for "pretty people only" simply because they either a) don't think they fit the criteria or b) don't like to choose or be chosen based on looks.

As Danny & Carol pointed out, it's typically ONE GUY decided what is and isn't attractive, one person's opinion. His ideal of what is attractive isn't going to the be the same as what others enjoy.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

I would like to know if there are many on-premise clubs that screen for appearance, and if they do not, are all of the members unattractive and overweight.

The members of the clubs I've been to are usually representative of the community at large. In other words, clubs in Florida and California tend to have more fit couples, while couples in the midwest tend to be on the heavy side. As BodyScape pointed out, the hosts of a club or private party really play a large part in establishing what kinds of people attend their function. If the attitude and appearance of the hosts are agreeable to you, then those of the people you meet there are likely to be, also.

In fact an article in a Houston mag about a fairly new on-premise club also referred to the patrons as skanky and said they were told the clientele has gotton older and heavier since it opened.

That sounds like a non-approving reporters attempt to smear both the club and the lifestyle while maintaining an air of "journalistic objectivity." A letter to the editor asking if his so-called "reporter" has ever referred, in print, to members of a local church, civic organization, or other business establishment as "older and heavier," or "skanky" might bring an interesting response.

My theory is that when an on-premise club that does not screen opens for business. What happens is the better looking couples will stop attending if unattractive and obese couples start attending, since they are not interested in playing with them.

IMHO, what drives many couples away from a given club, and sometimes from swinging altogether, is NOT the "unattractiveness" of some of it's members, but how some members attitudes towards lifestyle and sexuality are reflected in the general atmosphere of the club itself. Too many swing clubs are run like sleazy, Subic Bay bars. But that's a subject for a different thread.

Of course, if you are unattractive you are not going to have a problem with attractive members. So what happens is the club eventually draws only unattractive couples.

Hmmm...I don't know that I would agree with that. You don't have to scratch the surface of this lifestyle very hard to reveal stinging comments about "Ken & Barbies," "gym rats & strippers," "uberhots & posers" etc., etc. Most of the time, the only "crime" these people have committed is to be born with good genes or to spend a few hours a week caring for their health and appearance. Human nature being what it is, being "attractive" doesn't guarantee anybody a cakewalk into the lifestyle. Middle-aged men tend to be uncomfortable around other men who have more money or bigger dicks, while middle-aged women tend to be uncomfortable around younger women and those who have flatter tummies and/or perkier tits. "Discomfort runs downhiill, hostility runs uphill" Whichever way they run, there's enough of both to go around.

As for the younger, more attractive couples that choose not to play in certain clubs, George Carlin was right...there IS such a thing as being "too hip for the room"...and they're not reacting any differently than any of us would in similar circumstances