How do you turn someone down?

[bear_and_babe]

Well, I guess I had my first run in with the “Rude Single Guy” last night. We have been going to the club for almost a year now and I guess I have been lucky. I have only met very nice single men. Until last night.

I had been watching this nice looking single guy for part of the night. I noticed that he was not talking to anyone, so I thought maybe he might be shy and needed someone to start. So I walked up to the bar to get a drink and he was standing there. I gave him a big smile and said “Hi, how are you tonight?” He said “Fine” and then turned his back on me! Ok, so he was not interested, but just a nice “Not interested” would have worked better. I am a big girl, I can take that. But come on, how rude is it to turn you back to someone? Now I know why no one was talking to him.

So here is my question. If someone approaches you, and you are not interested, what do you do? Do you still talk to them? Do you just come right out and say “No thank you?” My husband and I tend to talk to everyone, even if we are not interested. We feel you can never have too many friends.

[fun_pairTX]

We talk to anyone and everyone. Over the years I have discovered that I can learn something from everyone I talk to, even if it is just how not to be. That being said we never dismiss anyone by turning away. If after some conversation we were not interested we would simply say so. The conversation is necessary to make any kind of decision for us, looks have never been the deal breaker for us.

[redrope]

I am a single guy and am trying to get more involved. I dont understand how anyone can be rude. They chose to be there and in the situation. However, my experience is that a lot of guys are just bastards that dont desrve much of a second look. We all need manners and if they dont have then they dont deserve your or my time. I would agree that a plain and simple "Not intersted"would suffice.

I have been trying for quite a while to get more involved and I must admit that I find it fraustrating the bad rep that rude single guys give to the rest of us.

[Spoomonkey]

Babe

He's a dick... Plain and simple...

We would love the chance to meet him and return the "meet my back now" favor. How incredibly rude.

We talk to most anyone - the exception being really, really creepy people; and even then we are cordial in finding a way to move on. It can be awkward to talk to people for a while and have them get the impression that we are interested sexually, but I guess we'd rather be in the position of having to fumble over a "no" than to be the types of people who turn their nose up at folks.

Usually we can simply say, "it's a little early for us" or, if it is late, "I think we are probably just going to say hello to a few more people and call it a night". But, most of the time, we get a sense that the conversation is heading towards that area and find a way to part as friends before that happens.

Unfortunately, there are times you have to say "no" - but fortunately, there is never really a reason to be an ass about it...

Spoomonkey

[MikeFr]

There is just no excuse or rudeness, in any arena.

This guy was a dick, plain and simple. If you're not interested, just be polite, make a little small talk, and state your side. No need to be rude about it.

O.k.....offa my soapbox for a while...

[JustAskJulie]

He is probably one of the same single guys who at the end of the night was pissed off because he didn't hook up with anyone!

[fun_pairTX]

You know the single guy standing in the hall with his crank in his hand at 3AM. Well THAT is him. LMAO

[psibili]

I've never even been to a party. What are they like? As you can guess, I am totally new here ;}

[fun_pairTX]

Parties vary widely, there are some that are overly yuppie ,where everyone stands around with a glass of Merlot while they contemplate boffing Muffy in three or four hours after the alcohol has loosened the pole in everyones ass enough to have some fun. Paradoxically we have seen parties where you drop your clothes at the door and find someone in the pile to lick, poke, stick, or whatever because the action begins at the door and goes throughout the house. There truly is a party for every kind of swinger, the trick is to find the party that suits YOU.

[Tantra]

We are very nice people and as such we find the process of turning people down very very difficult. This is not to say that we don't do it when necessary, but more often than not we try to stay out of the position where we will have to reject a couple. As the male half, I find it especially difficult when I'm not attracted to the woman but can clearly see that she is a perfectly good person - I just can't bring myself to hurt that person. It goes against my nature. Are there some good ways I can be direct but soften the blow?

[Allicat1973]

The first time they approach you, and you are not interested, kindly tell them, "Sorry, not interested," with a simple smile. But, what if they keep trying? What do we do then? Surrender