How do you approach someone at a party?

[tracy1878]

Hubby and I went to our first swing club over the weekend and had a wonderful time. My question is how do you approach someone about having sex? Hubby and I have said that we will swing separately at the same party/location, but I'm a little shy about approaching a man. I'm a BBW, so I'm sure it comes cause of that, but I know that there were several men interested, but I just didn't have the guts to go and do it. Any suggestions?

[bear_and_babe]

Boy, this is a hard question. I am still trying to figure this out for myself. I am a BBW also, and a little shy.

When I am at a club and see a guy I might be interested in, I will ask him to dance. Or, like this last week, I approached the guy's wife. Struck up a conversation with her, then said I said I would like to meet her husband. Well, that worked! Another thought is to find something to complement him on. Maybe he has a tattoo, an earring that you like and you can chat with him about. Anything to open the door. I have also found that if I am talking to a guy and I get the vib that he wants to play, it has always been me to ask him to a room. It is like most guys don't want to be seen as being pushy.

Good luck with this. Maybe someone else has some other ideas...

[mustang3]

Tracy,

JUST DO IT. I know for a fact that men are attracted to BBW. I happen not to be a BBW, but my b/f absolutly loves them. If you see someone you're interested in, TELL THEM. I sell cars for a living. One thing they teach you in sales is "if you don't ask,...you don't get."

[DBL D]

Are you wanting to just jump in and ask someone to have sex with you or are you wanting to meet people and find out how things go from there?

Fem D and I will sometimes approach a couple together. That shows both of them that we are interested in them and you don't have to waste time getting the other halves to dance later.

Most folks don't just come out and "ask". They take their time and build up a little suspense before saying if they want you or not. Nothing wrong with that unless you have to get somewhere. head bang What's the hurry?

Male D

[two4youinswva]

We usually just go an introduce ourselves to another couple. We are a bit shy, so we have to make the effort. After that, you chat a bit, dance a bit, then if you like, start making plans.....
At our Halloween event, the club was getting really full, and a cute couple walked in, and was looking around. My wife jumped up, walked over and asked them if they would like to sit at our table. They accepted the offer, great conversation ensued, lots of dancing, flirting, grabby hands under the table, and by the end of the night, back in the hotel room at about 3am, my wife whispered, "this was the best social ever".
Well, don't know if that helps, but it's how we go about the whole thing.
S&J

[tracy1878]

Thanks for all the advice... good point mustang! I guess it's just the old fear of rejection... like hubby said, it's almost like dating again! I think it's mostly my problem, afterall a couple of these guys had their head between my thighs, so I'm pretty sure they were interested, lol. It looks like we aren't going to make it back for a couple of weeks due to schedules clashing, but I intend to be much more outgoing while looking for playpartners.

[Spoomonkey]

From one central Ohio couple to another - the best thing to do is just wander around...

We met a couple a few weeks ago who clung to their tall table like it was a life preserver. It was their second visit and they still hadn't had anyone approach them - then again, they hadn't moved form their table in either visit. We had been strolling around and stopped. I don't remember what made us stop - but we did... We were quickly in a great conversation with a great couple.

We talked about work, how we became interested in the lifestyle and of course we flirted... It was acutally pretty easy...

They were wonderful, attractive and funny - but I think they had the same type of insecurities that you are describing. In fact, when we asked them about playing, the wife told us, "sure - unless you find someone better."

I was kind of floored. The way I see it - I have great taste in playmates - which is exactly why I was talking to her. And I was flattered that she was talking back to me

My suggestion is just go to play... Play pool, play darts, play on the dance floor... Just have fun. You will talk to people just by moving around. We are the type of people who can sit still for about ten minutes before we have to move - but we have never been hit on during that ten minutes of sitting still. It just doesn't happen. Put yourself in the traffic flow - let conversations happen with everyone you bump into - and when a couple strikes you as "interesting", take mustangs excellent advice and ask.

Spoomonkey

[easygoin]

Hi tracy...

you should just say hello...and chit chat and see what happens..i know its easier said than done...cuz im a bit shy myself..but you being there is showing some kind of confidence i know its just breaking the ice...thats the hard part..i am attracted to bbw and you will find there are many more out there that are closet bbw lovers hehe

[tracy1878]

all right, I did it! And I wasn't rejected!! In fact, it was very well received, the guy thanked me! It went very well, I had a hot time, and hubby was in another room having a great time as well! Sadly, I had had too much tequila with our host, and left shortly afterward cause I wasn't feeling well! But you can bet that I won't do that again, we can't wait to go back and do it again!

[VicnGina]

I just wanted to get my 2 cents in on this. I personally have been past up by women afraid to ask, invite or just grab a hand full at the club we go to here in Ft. Wayne. Speaking as a guy for any others out there( BBW or Not) if you see a guy you want to party with and you are not sure how he will reply. You can A: ask him to dance or start up some form of conversation with him. 2: Try the old buy him a drink bit( which at most clubs means you make him a drink and deliver it to him). And then: my personal favorite, Strike up a conversation with the spouse or significant other and ask her what she thinks would be the best way to go about it. BTW take the advice. A good friend of ours passed up her chance by not listening to what my wife had to say. It seems to me ... in club atmospheres ... that the men look to be approached by the women. I know I love for women to approach me. I personally don't mind if a woman walks up, invites herself to sit down and tells me what's on her mind.

[dutch51]

Hubby and I don't swing separately, but when we see a couple we are interested in meeting, we'll try to strike up a conversation with them, or invite them to do something, like play a game of pool. We go to the clubs more for the social and meeting aspects, and would probably discuss a playdate at a later time (We like the whole dinner then play evening). I'm still a bit more reserved than hubby is- but getting better- about approaching people. If someone approaches us though, then I'm probably more social at first. We've noticed though, that if a woman is comfortable enough to make a move, the guy is usually more than receptive,

Hope this helps some, and good luck. It gets easier with time, doesn't it?

[tracy1878]

lol, yes it does get easier with time.... I've learned to be more outgoing, and have been rewarded well! I still tend to be a bit shy, but after talking for a few minutes or so, I warm up quickly!

[northindycpl]

Please don't flame me on this one.. but here goes...

My feeling is that you put into it what you get out of it. I am really pretty comfortable at a club, and I try to be chatty with many people. But it isn't my job to be cruise director. If there is a couple just sitting there, I may say a polite 'hi' but I would probably move on if there isn't something drawing me into conversation with them.

If you aren't even a little bit assertive with your clothes on, how assertive will you be with them off?

As a fellow 'voluptous' woman, I do have limits, but I do not want to play with those ashamed or uncomfortable with their bodies.

[DBL D]

I'm proud of you Tracy!

Male D

[roadkingklp]

Originally Posted by tracy1878

Hubby and I went to our first swing club over the weekend and had a wonderful time. My question is how do you approach someone about having sex? Hubby and I have said that we will swing separately at the same party/location, but I'm a little shy about approaching a man. I'm a BBW, so I'm sure it comes cause of that, but I know that there were several men interested, but I just didn't have the guts to go and do it. Any suggestions?

Hey Tracy,
I have to agree with some of the others, just keep moving around slowly, make plenty of direct eye contact -of course, a smile and a wink will also help !
Most times just a big Hello, and my name is Tracy, and What would you like to be called ?
If you were like my ex-G.F. Carolyn a.k.a. "Nymph" she would go hang at the pool tables, ask a guy or two if they had seen her B.F. walk thru. That usually worked, to get the conversation started, then if the guy was a little shy, she would just lightly rub his crouch. If the guy is interested that will open all conversation that is needed.
Or since she was the love lots of men type, she would say to those same men, she heard there was a Gang Bang getting ready to start in the open room, and they should grab their buddies and go get some.
Of course then she would go up to the group room , undress and get ready for the herd of men that would soon be showing up.
If you are really the shy type, you can usually go to the video room sit down on a sofa, more times then not there will be a guy who is also a little shy doing the same thing