Talking to couples at the club that you aren't necessarily interested in

[BradAndJanet]

Mr. Spoomonkey and Mrs. Good Times brought up an interesting point in this thread about interacting with people that we have no real intention of playing with.

In past club visits, we've not done that, partly so as not to lead anyone on under false pretenses. As a result, we haven't really talked to a whole lot of people. However, I'm developing the opinion that we should change our approach on that. As Spoomonkey said, we can always say, "No thanks" if we're propositioned and I feel that by meeting more people, well...we'll meet even more people, if you know what I mean.

What are your thoughts on that?

-B

[Spoomonkey]

I think it can work both ways... But I like the way it has worked for us...

On the one hand, talking to everyone and being a social butterfly may put you "out of reach" of some couples because there just isn't an opportunity to approach us - unless they are pretty bold (which we like!).

On the other hand, since we have said hello to twenty couples already, when we are "smitten" it doesn't take much to "make the leap" into a conversation. And because of the way we are at the club, I think we are often in better control than when we sit back and "scout" the place.

I definitely think that being one of the well-known couples works to your advantage. We can walk in and exchange a hug and a kiss with two or three couples before we even put our coats on a hanger.

Spoomonkey

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

It definately makes for a great night out. We have fun either way (play or no play) because we are with friends, flirting, playing pool, sexy dancing my personal favorite, and meeting new people.

We have definately enjoyed the club more once we just started being friendly and nice to everyone, the rest just takes care of itself.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[TNT]

We are with the Spoo's on this one. Teresa is the butterfly out of the two of us, normally at least greeting every one at a social. Of course this in no way implies that we want to do everyone there. Still I don't know how many people I have talked to that told me that just this simple greeting made their first visit so enjoyable. It also gives us a large base of acquaintances to draw on for parties and such.

Ted

[good times]

I agree with Spoomonkey and I also think that being the type of people who pretty much spend the night "working the room" we are much more easily approached by someone who might be interested in us.

When we go to the club we generally sit down for about an hour and visit with the people we know already, and then we get up and spend pretty much the rest of the night on our feet, getting to know new people, dancing, and if we are lucky we may end up getting off our feet later in the night to play.

We have noticed that the people that sit down and don't make an effort to meet people almost seem like they are unaproachable and seem to give off some kind of force field vibe that sublimenely says "stay away". And so even though we might be interested in them had we met, we tend not to get around to them and they often seem to end up leaving thinking that no one was interested in them.

[mrs good times]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I definitely think that being one of the well-known couples works to your advantage. We can walk in and exchange a hug and a kiss with two or three couples before we even put our coats on a hanger.

We have this same situation upon arrival often but leaving for the night can sometimes take us up to a half hour. As we work our way to the door there are hugs, kisses, groping and well wishes. So much fun you gotta go back for more.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by mrs good times

hugs, kisses, groping...

Note to self... Try "groping"...



Spoomonkey

[DandS]

Brad,

We chat with people all the time at the club that we dont necesarrily plan on "hooking up" with. It just makes for a fun evening, lots of good conversation, laughing, dancing, flitering, etc. As someone else said, when we walk in we usually exchange greetings and hugs with several others before we've even sat down.

On the downside of that though we did get into kind of a rut of hanging out and talking with the same peolpe all the time because we know them and were comfortable and having a good time. Now when we go to the club we still sit and hang out with the people we know but make a point of introducing ourselves and talking to at least one couple that we dont know. As Mrs. Spoo said, the rest just takes care of itself.

D

[sensuality]

I've noticed a lot of people recommend walking around and all of that, but honestly, when we go to clubs...especially the last off-premise we went to...we sat at the bar and a lot of people came up to us.We were totally approachable.I even made friends in the bathroom. So, I don't think if you do decide to sit and chat at the bar that people will necessarily see you as unapproachable.It's just not true. We were having a great time and got several opportunities to dance and etc. Maybe because we were at the bar and that gave us the chance to talk to everyone... That could be why.Plus, I am very outgoing and will talk to anybody and hubby always follows suit...I know being friendly definitely helps...Now when we went to the on-premise club a few months ago, we walked around and talked to people most of the night and we didn't get even half the approaches we got when we were just hanging out at the bar...Go figure!! And, no matter what...when it's time to leave any club...you definitely have to make time for hugs and etc.

[BradAndJanet]

If all goes well, we will be at the club this Friday (or next.) I'll let you know what happens.

Thanks for confirming my thoughts on the subject.

-B

[good times]

Originally Posted by sensuality

I don't think if you do decide to sit and chat at the bar that people will necessarily see you as unapproachable.It's just not true.

This is true, in fact after rereading my post I can see some clarification of what I was trying to say is in order (hey, it was clear in my head at the time ).

What I should have probably said was that often times you will watch how someone sitting off by themselves interacts with others who aproach them before making the decision to aproach them yourself. If these people seem to be short with people and tend to blow them off if they aren't interested in them, we would probably not make an effort to aproach them. whereas someone who is friendly and outgoing with people wether they are interested in them or not seem to be much more aproachable, in my opinion.

Their, that may or may not be clearer.

[JustAskJulie]

I say talk to anyone and everyone.... even if you aren't interested sexually you may find that you make a great friend. And even if you only talk to those you think you might be interested in sexually... once you talk to them you may find out quickly that you were wrong.

[fun_pairTX]

Meet and talk to everyone and anyone you can. I have never heard of anyone that knew too many people.

[coviaclub]

Maybe it's just Houston, or maybe it's everywhere, but when I go to clubs, (me as in the girl whose name appears in the sig) there's these big groups of people, clicks one might say. There at every club, a big group of friends who play with each other and no one else, and they pretty much run each club because their that clubs regulars. Now by seeing who stands out the most, that's the person who is pretty much the alpha couple and to invited into this gathering, you probably need to get along with that couple or than any other.

I've had more luck finding nice couples via chats and boards rather than clubbing. At club, whenever you talk to someone, everyone seems really eager to get down and dirty rather then get to know the other couple. Maybe I'm juse old fashion and want a lil bit of courtship before jumping in bed...