Is this being pushy?

[LikeMinds321]

Prologue

Our second off-premise club experience took place this past Saturday. We made a very spontaneous decision to meet a couple who I had emailed late the night before through one of the swinger ad sites we use. They live a couple hours away and would be coming to our neck of the woods the next night to attend the club. They suggested we join them, and we decided to go for it. I felt it was an opportunity we shouldn't pass up. Besides, I was ready to get out and have some fun on the town!

I let them know that we were expecting to the club to socialize with lots of people - as I knew they were too - and they shouldn't feel they'd have to babysit us newbies (they've been swinging about 10 years). We all understood we weren't meeting to play with each other, but we were open to that if we all clicked.

Meeting at the Club

When they arrived they looked great, were smiling, and he gave me a big hug. We danced immediately and started to learn more about each other. We were getting along well, I was relaxed and having fun. Then he said to me, "You gotta loosen up." Now I know myself well and I can assure you, I was plenty loose!

Over the next twenty minutes he said it two more times. It was bugging me, and as much as I was trying to ignore that fact, I couldn't. I'd had it with this guy telling me to loosen up. To this point I felt I had been a sexy "lady," I was not yet exposing my boobies or using my loose vocabulary for down-n-dirty bad girl fun; a mode I can easily switch into when I feel the time is right. The time was now right to switch modes and make a point.

I confronted this guy while we were dancing. I said, "I've got to talk to you about something that's bothering me, three times you've told me to loosen up. I'm feeling pressured, I think you're being pushy. What is it you're wanting me to do? Because if you're asking me to suck your cock or fuck you, you better know right now that I only do what I want to do, when I want to do it." I could tell by the look on his face that I shocked him.

He said he didn't recall saying that to me, he wasn't trying to be pushy, and that he considered himself a guy who is never pushy. We discussed our feelings, came to a mutual understanding, and over the next couple hours we got pretty chummy even though we didn't have sex. I was glad I told him early on how I felt. It made all the difference in how the night progressed.

How do the rest of you view this? Was he being pushy, or is this how it is at clubs? Was I reading him wrong? Was I the pushy one?

LM

[BradAndJanet]

I'd say. "Go you!"

That was an assertive way to handle the situation. I think he was a little pushy, yes. I doubt he'll do that again, and he ought to thank you for teaching him that lesson.

-B

[Spoomonkey]

It would have irritated me if a male said that to Mrs Spoomonkey. I can't speak for how it would make her feel, but I don't think it would fly...

The fact that he "didn't recall" saying that to you makes me wonder if you were at a swing club or in session with congress... You are right to be only as loose as you want to be, when you want to be as loose as you - at that time - want to be... (Now that sentence sounds pretty "congressional", doesn't it?)

I think you handled it well - and it seemed like you guys got on afterwards.

I think you did the right thing. You handled it better than I would have.

Spoomonkey

[JustAskJulie]

That would have annoyed the hell out of me. I think I would have had to ask him a bit earlier on what the hell he meant by "loosen up".

[good times]

I'm with spoo here, I don't think I would have handled it near as good as you did. And to answer the question, yes, I would consider that being pushy, and I think you handled it superbly.

[DBL D]

OMG!!! She Knows Who I Am!

Just kidding LikeMinds321, of course, but I am sure I've made some women flinch in the early going.

I hope he got the message and I am glad you were able to become friends after that happened. facelick

I mean, you SEEM like the friendly type.

Male D