Clickish Clubs ---

[danc694u]

I'm cheating here now. I'm doing a simple cut and paste of a post from somewhere else. It's my post, in response to a question posed somewhere else.

Your Thoughts please!

We've all been there. To a club where the crowd seems to split up into groups, and doesn't appear open to additional couples joining. Very "Clickish"

But, let's get this into it's proper prospective. If it is your first time at a certian club. You are a newbie...period. More so if nobody knows who you are.

And, we're all aware that a "newbie" may not make a return trip, for some reason or another. And many of us try not to crowd the space of a "newbie". No need in scaring them on their first trip out. Right?

Well this is the exactly what happens in clubs, that appear "clickish". No one knows you, so they naturally assume (wrongly) that you are a newbie. And, try to give you space.

There are 2 ways of handling this. #1 Make sure that you make a second trip, if you liked the place. #2 Get up off your ass, and go introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Letting them know you aren't a "newbie". Just new at that club.

At the same time, we need to take measure of our own social skills. Newbies, are there for a reason, the same reason we are. While they may not make a return visit. We need to make them aware that we "saw" them. And, they are welcome back anytime.

Of course, there will always be those "clickish" couples. But how do you know, unless you approach them? Do we really expect every couple in a club, to trip over each other trying to introduce themselves? Hardly!

In a nutshell: If we're sitting at the table, thinking; "Gosh these folks are clickish". Isn't it reasonable to think that they are doing the same?

[Flori_DAMAN]

Your post prompted me to look up the word clique, as that was the word you were using but mispelled.
Clique is a French word deriving from the word cliquer, to click or clap. The connotation being for one group of people to applaud another. Thanks, I always kind of wondered about that word and your post gave me reason to look it up.
I see very few social gatherings in which groups of people that share a common activity do not form cliques.
Even bowling leagues and church gatherings are that way. It is natural for people that go to the same place week after week or even year after year to find a group of similar individuals to hang with.
It is very time consuming and would require great effort to initiate every new couple to the club.
We go to a club maybe two to four times per year so we are not at all well established. If we happen to stumble on people to talk to (which we usually do), that is fine but we don't run around shaking hands with everyone introducing ourselves either. Our intention when going to a club is to get out of town for the evening and enjoy some relaxed sensuous fun first with each other.
I have had people come up to me at around 3 am and say "no luck huh?" as if we were there for the sole purpose of seducing some swingers and we in some manner failed our mission lol.
My response is always a friendly contented smile. In my own head I answer that I think I am the luckiest guy in the place because I have the company of my beautiful wife in a situation that most wives would never tolerate.

[danc694u]

Originally posted by michigancouple:
<STRONG>as that was the word you were using but mispelled.
Clique is a French word deriving from the word cliquer, to click or clape</STRONG>

I rarely do this. Unless the "spelling monster" rears it's ugly head. It happens, as there is one on every board.

The actual spelling. Cliquish Since it is of French origin. I use the redneck version..which is "clickish"

Cliquish
French, from Old French, latch, or from obsolete French cliquer, to click, clink of imitative origin

Oh..and it's c l a p not clape

But, I agree with the remainder of your response. :p

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: danc694u ]

[TNT]

Well, I remember well the first time we attended a social/club.

It's true that people tend to appear "cliquish", but unless you go up and say "Hi", how do you know?

Our first experience was so wonderful at a club that I try and make it as nice for anyone else that I think is new. I'm a natural hostess or a social butterfly I guess you could say. I fly from table to table introducing myself and saying hi to everybody throughout the evening. Asking if they are having a good time, if it is their first time or if they are a returning guest that I might have missed seeing last time.

I love seeing people have fun and if I see a couple sitting at a table all alone, I definitely make it a point to say hi.

I don't try to include myself in any certain group that may be having their own little "party", but I see nothing wrong with saying "Hi, are ya'll having fun"?

"Newbies" are often very nervous, whether it is their first time at the club or their first time in general. By being so outgoing and friendly, I feel that maybe, hopefully, I have made someones first time, second or even hunderdth time a little bit better by just smiling and saying hello. I know it makes my night better when someone says hello to me.

So....all of us "oldies", should try and remember what it was like in the beginning and help someone new feel at home. You never know..the next person you say "Hi" to might be just what you are looking for.

Teresa

[ 11-01-2001: Message edited by: TNT ]

[TNT]

Originally posted by michigancouple:
<STRONG> I am the luckiest guy in the place because I have the company of my beautiful wife in a situation that most wives would never tolerate.</STRONG>

LOL, my husband says the same thing, he constantly tells me that he is living every mans dream.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by TNT:
<STRONG>

LOL, my husband says the same thing, he constantly tells me that he is living every mans dream.</STRONG>

It's funny you guys put it that way. On my amateur site I'm constantly getting comments from guys about how lucky my hubby is to have a woman as open as I am. I always tell them that "I'm the lucky one, cuz there's not many guys around that would let their wives express themselves as I do"

[danc694u]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
<STRONG>"I'm the lucky one, cuz there's not many guys around that would let their wives express themselves as I do"</STRONG>

That's a 2 way street there Julie One I'm very happy to be on myself.

David

[TNT]

LOL, yep..I consider myself extremely lucky to have him as a husband...and glad that he lets me live his dream with him.

Teresa

[Flori_DAMAN]

clape? I did not type clape.....lol

[danc694u]

Touche! My bad!

[SnittyKitty]

For fans of the TV series "Beauty and the Beast" who like me loved the poetry:

"Until I met you, I had forgotten what it is to love, be loved and in love."

It impossible to articulate the love & friendship I have for my wife; impossible because I didn't marry her to change her.

If you forget about the sex for a moment, and think of people like you would want them to think of you, the greatest gift you can give; the gift of you."

Like I said, not so much about sex, but the idea that there are those who share your gift of self.

That is the joy I find in living...And tossing gummy bears down my wife's blouse in public!


[ 11-18-2001: Message edited by: SnittyKitty ]