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Thread: Timing with Kids

  1. #1
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    Question Timing with Kids

    Just wondering when people found it easier to swing:

    1. When the kids are really young (less than 5)

    2. "Middle age" (6-12yrs)

    3. Teenages

    4. Left the nest

  2. #2

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    Swinging is kinda like socializing. Some people cannot socialize until there kids are over 5. Some allow themselves to indulge. They usually find a good sitter and go out and swing. The older the kids are the harder it is to keep the facts hidden though. AT some point you should just say, why bother?

  3. #3

    Default

    I don't have kids, so I'm not qualified to answer. However, based on my general observations, I would tend to think that if a couple was interested in swinging, it might be a great source of pleasure, especially when the kids are young.

    From what I've heard and seen, those early years are really tough on parents in terms of time available to spend together. They seldom have time to do much other than wear the "mommy" or "daddy" hat. And again, they sometimes start to perceive each other as nothing more than "mom and dad machines" - forgetting where they started in their relationship. (Just observations and comments from child-rearing friends.)

    Occasional swinging might give the opportunity for them to see and enjoy themselves and each other outside of the mommy/daddy roles - once again, the interesting, exciting, stimulating, sexy/sexual, dynamic person each was before the never-ending and sometimes exhausting chores of raising kids set in. It might also give them a glimpse into their future together in the sense that they will not always be confined to the mom/dad roles.

    I really - sincerely - honestly...tip my hat to all parents. I don't know how they do it and maintain. Really. -EBF

  4. #4

    Default young kids

    We have young kids and find it increadible delightful to get out of the house and do some "adult things". time is a precious comodity and we dont like to spend too much time away from the kids so we only get out about every other month, sometimes two. So when we do get to go we try and make sure we leave all the petty little stuff at home and make sure we both enjoy our time out toghether.

    Us plus You = a whole LOT of fun!!!

  5. #5

    Default I don't have kids...

    ...but I take care of my grandmother. That means cooking, cleaning, taking her to doctors appointments, and, most importantly, being around so she doesn't have one of those anxiety attacks that have put her in the hospital more often and problems with her diabetes or high blood pressure. That takes a lot more of my time than I've seen with people with children, because as children get older they need less attention and emotional support. As elderly people get older they need more attention and emotional support.

    Timing is very important, and making sure that someone you can depend on is around when you take time to go "play" can be extremely difficult. But taking the time to have some adult fun can relieve a lot of the stress of always being available for someone who can't take care of themselves.
    "Style is not lusting after somone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too."

    Prince

  6. #6

    Default

    Our kids are all little but I don't think that their age hinders our private life. We get our sitter to spend the night/weekend when we know that the activities of the evening will not bring us home. We have friends in the lifestyle that do frequent our home just as our non-swinging friends are welcome to stop in. Since having friends around the house is normal for us, it will hopefully lessen suspicion down the road. We won't suddenly have a social calendar, we are always busy.

    It will probably become more difficult to conceal our activities as the curious minds grow but for now our only difficulties revolve around the babysitter.

    Annette
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week.

  7. #7

    Default

    I have to agree that age doesnt matter with the kids much. We have two small children and we get a sitter and go out to spend some time together. We usually try to go out at least once a month now and the kids dont interfere. I also have to agree the older they get the harder it is going to be to keep them from knowing about what you are doing.

  8. #8

    Default I hope not!

    I hope it doesn't get harder as the kids get older!!

    Obviously when you have children, entertaining in your own home is usually out. So, theoretically, when the children get older and you go out, they shouldn't become suspicious. For all they know, you will be going out to a night club.

    I'm being naive again, aren't I??

    SARA
    You know what they say: When in Rome, do... a Roman!!

  9. #9

    Default Alternative Babysitters for Alternative Needs

    I have found that in the past that my parents and siblings were great overnight babysitters so that I could entertain in my own home. (Don't you want to go visit grandma, grandpa, cousin, etc?)

    Also, as my daughter gets older I make sure to invite young girls to spend the night only because it seems to be recriprocated at a later date and it seems natural instead of requesting an ALL night babysitter.

    J.

  10. #10

    Default Mom & Dad go "dancing"

    Getting babysitters was always difficult for us as we had no family near us. Years ago we discussed swinging but no way was I ready for it.

    Now one kid is out of the house and the other is a teenager. We have had an empty nest this summer (ends this Sunday), so we have made the most of it.

    We tell them that we go to a dance club, and they think it is great that Mom and Dad go out together. Thankfully, neither one asks for any more specific information. Hope it stays that way!

    Pauline

  11. #11

    Default Time out!

    Child psychologists and doctors recomend a time out when children need to to away from others. OUr doctor tells us this is often missused by parents as a meand for the parent to cool off. Before we started swinging we began giving our selves the time out and not the children by going out for a night. This became useful when we started swinging because our relatives had become accustomed to our frequent "time outs".

    I would say it was easier after our youngest was done nursing. It is important to have a good baby sitter. Especially one that can handle most minor situations. We try not to ask grandparents to often. That way when they find out that you went out and didn't ask them to babysit you don't feel so guilty .

    As with the lifestyle everyone has their own comfort level when its time to deal with leaving children at home. As with anything use your best judgement.
    "The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
    - Tom Clancy

  12. #12

    Default Re: I don't have kids...

    Originally posted by EternallySingle
    ...but I take care of my grandmother. That means cooking, cleaning, taking her to doctors appointments, and, most importantly, being around so she doesn't have one of those anxiety attacks that have put her in the hospital more often and problems with her diabetes or high blood pressure. That takes a lot more of my time than I've seen with people with children, because as children get older they need less attention and emotional support. As elderly people get older they need more attention and emotional support.

    Timing is very important, and making sure that someone you can depend on is around when you take time to go "play" can be extremely difficult. But taking the time to have some adult fun can relieve a lot of the stress of always being available for someone who can't take care of themselves.
    But, gosh, Eternally, think of your poor grandmother. How can one possibly find time to swing if your grandson is always around?

    Mr. Alura

  13. #13

    Default Re: Re: I don't have kids...

    Originally posted by Alura
    But, gosh, Eternally, think of your poor grandmother. How can one possibly find time to swing if your grandson is always around?

    Mr. Alura
    -EBF

  14. #14

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    Just curious are there folks here who have given up swinging until their kids are a certain age? Taking a break to take care of the kids?
    The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

  15. #15

    Default Re: Timing with Kids

    When Mr. Tybee and I got married, we were the parents of teens/young adults. Only one of them lived with us when we started swinging. She was accustomed to seeing her mom and stepdad going out a lot on "dates", anyway...we've always made time to go dancing at clubs, etc. From her perspective, when we started to swing, our evenings out were no different.

    Now that we have an empty nest, everything is even easier.

    Neither of us have been involved in swinging while we were parents of young kids. I imagine it would be very difficult. When we've been out with couples who have younger kids, sometimes their kids are calling their cell phones all evening about nothing in particular, and asking when they're coming home...it's a bit of a drag, especially for their parents!

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