Swing with best friend? (while doing drugs)

[Silly Mech]

Hi everyone. Yeah, been doing lots of lurking and not much participating. So here it goes (be kind).

So for this new years it seems that my wife and I will be staying home after all instead of driving out to Los Angeles for a New Years Massive. We plan on having a fun night thanks to some *ahem* pills we just purchased from a good friend. FYI, this isn't something new but we drop casually - maybe twice a year tops - and our sexual pleasures and fantasies go a bit, um, crazy-wacky on this stuff so it's looooots of fun.

Anyways, I just heard from my best friend in Texas that he has absolutely no plans for NY and wants to fly down to party. We have both known this person for possibly 10 years now and I trust him with my life... and my wife (no pun intended) and we know he's clean. I've brought up the idea of inviting him into a threesome with my wife and she's finally warmed up to the idea after two years of thought and consideration. I've mentioned this to my friend a few times in the past and he says he is most definitely interested but it just has to be the right time. He drops too and he knows what we're like so this won't be a surprise, btw.

So it looks like it's finally going to happen and I'm just curious to hear peoples reaction and thoughts. We're both really new to this, this will be our first time in fact. I have questions, I'm just not sure what to ask so any pointers would be greatly appreciated.

The only thing that could get in our way is her best friend coming down to visit as well since we're intending to go there and party with her. Now as much as I'd like to nail my wife's best friend in a foursome, that will never happen and neither will the threesome while she's there, so she has to keep her butt at home.

So pray for me people.

[ViSexual]

Well, it sounds like you've got plenty of time to prepare.

The two, well three, of you have crossed the 'decision' boundary now.

So, instead of worrying about your decision, start anticipating and planning.

Your friendship with this old friend has just changed. So, start treating him differently. Let your wife and him start flirting more. Let the two of them get comfortable with sexual conversations too. It'll make it so much better when the holidays get here.

I don't see any need to set any 'rules' now, since you're got two months to explore what you all three are wanting.

Good luck, and enjoy the next two months!

[Alura]

Why are you so sure a foursome won't happen?

Mr. Alura

[The Fuse]

Good luck and have fun!

One thing that might give me pause is that it sounds like your first experience might be while you're under the influence. A good rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't do it while straight, you shouldn't do it while high or drunk, or you might regret it later. I hope this turns out to not be a factor for you, considering your plans.

[ncmd_couple]

Mech,

I think you need to strongly consider Fuse’s advice. I don’t know what you three are planning on “dropping,” but that is the same as folks at a club or party that have to get drunk to play. If all three of you are high, then your ability to judge the situation is greatly impaired and you are running the risk of some serious regrets afterwards.

S

[BiloxiCouple]

You do a Rave parties and do some ectasy in case some of the older crowd doesn't understand your code words.

Now you want to have a 3some with your best friend.

Are you willing to lose a best friend over sex if it goes wrong? That's the question you have to ask yourself right now.

[Silly Mech]

Sweet! More responses than what my e-mail was telling me.

Originally Posted by ViSexual

Well, it sounds like you've got plenty of time to prepare.

The two, well three, of you have crossed the 'decision' boundary now.

So, instead of worrying about your decision, start anticipating and planning.

Your friendship with this old friend has just changed. So, start treating him differently. Let your wife and him start flirting more. Let the two of them get comfortable with sexual conversations too. It'll make it so much better when the holidays get here.

I don't see any need to set any 'rules' now, since you're got two months to explore what you all three are wanting.

Good luck, and enjoy the next two months!

This is what I was thinking too. I've encouraged them before - mostly kissing and groping, and we are all feeling it. We do need to discuss rules again but I am getting pretty excited just thinking of it.

Originally Posted by Alura

Why are you so sure a foursome won't happen?

Mr. Alura

Most certainly. She's told me flat-out it will never happen. The thing that irks me is the way she will kiss me or hug me when we're rolling, hell, I've even taken moderately risky pictures of her to help boost her confidence (this gets into a whole other thing that's not worth telling) and she loved that. So yeah, in so many words: not a chance.

Originally Posted by The Fuse

Good luck and have fun!

One thing that might give me pause is that it sounds like your first experience might be while you're under the influence. A good rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't do it while straight, you shouldn't do it while high or drunk, or you might regret it later. I hope this turns out to not be a factor for you, considering your plans.

I can understand your point, however it's not until we are under the pills influence before we really get nutty, and we both like it better this way. I certainly am able to last a hell of a lot longer in the sack than 10 minutes, and she generally gets so much oral sex and fluffing that my jaw goes numb. So I guess the reason why we want to do this while on pills is because we can draw out the fun and excitement for prolonged periods. Hope I'm making sense with this. But thank you.

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

You do a Rave parties and do some ectasy in case some of the older crowd doesn't understand your code words.

Now you want to have a 3some with your best friend.

Are you willing to lose a best friend over sex if it goes wrong? That's the question you have to ask yourself right now.

Yup, we're ravers. Well, ex-ravers mostly but we do enjoy a good DJ. And that's a great question. Believe me I've thought hard about this and I've even spoken to him frankly about the whole thing, maybe twice now? He understands where it's coming from and he doesn't have a problem with the idea, he knows there's nothing homosexual about the offer and he respects us both. We all believe that it'll be something we just happen to share one night and that's all.

[iapr]

Lets see here, lets add this all up. For starters we have

An inexperienced couple that has only fantasized before and is now making hard plans for a playdate.
+
illegal mind altering intoxicants

+

a vanilla single male long term friend who is now expecting to get laid on a cross country trip who is also going to be full of illegal mind altering substances

+

a potential deal busting chick who the guys that are full of the mind altering substances are hot for and want to tap but is unaware of and nonconsenting to the sexual plans being made.

+

2 months of worth of unrealistic fantasies and expectations through the fog of hallucinigens all culminating during one of the most drunken and raucus nights of the year.

= Oh yeah, I don't want to miss this one!!! Who needs fireworks at Times Square when we have this

[Silly Mech]

Originally Posted by iapr

Lets see here, lets add this all up. For starters we have

An inexperienced couple that has only fantasized before and is now making hard plans for a playdate.
+
illegal mind altering intoxicants

+

a vanilla single male long term friend who is now expecting to get laid on a cross country trip who is also going to be full of illegal mind altering substances

+

a potential deal busting chick who the guys that are full of the mind altering substances are hot for and want to tap but is unaware of and nonconsenting to the sexual plans being made.

+

2 months of worth of unrealistic fantasies and expectations through the fog of hallucinigens all culminating during one of the most drunken and raucus nights of the year.

= Oh yeah, I don't want to miss this one!!! Who needs fireworks at Times Square when we have this

Um, yeah... thanks? It's only ecstasy pills - it's not like were doing blow off my wifes ass - so you don't have to make it sound all so terrible.

This is something that we've all discussed before, we're adults and we're all open to it. Plus we think this is a better road to take than with a stranger or starting a whole new friendship with another person or couple so we can swing.

And he's not coming down to do this specifically, in fact we haven't even mentioned anything to him about it, so for him this party trip is nothing new.

However in hindsight, the only thing your sarcastic manner is doing is warning me of some possible bad weather ahead, and I thank you for it.

[JustAskJulie]

You may not like how IAPR put it but the reality is that they are right on target.

I have a feeling that NYE is not going to live up to all the fantasies you are building up and despite the X there are going to be at least 2 people sorely dissapointed in th evening.

On the upside, it's good that you are all talking about this NOW while there are no drugs involved in the decision making process. But regardless of that there are two big issues that will be there X or not.... 1 is the risk that any of you may wake up the next morning with regrets and ruin a friendship and 2 is the fact that there will be a 4th party at the party who doesn't want to be involved (but whom everyone else would like to be involved). So even if you don't lose the friend who does play with you, your wife needs to consider that allowing this to go down with her friend there who does not want to play may damage that friendship.

[BiloxiCouple]

A simple comparison between ectasy and cocaine side effects. Just wanted to see how not so terrible it really is.

Originally Posted by silly mech

Um, yeah... thanks? It's only ecstasy pills - it's not like were doing blow off my wifes ass - so you don't have to make it sound all so terrible.

cocaine side effects

Cocaine side effects include but are not limited to:

Changes in blood pressure
Heart rates
Breathing rates
Nausea
Vomiting
Anxiety
Convulsions
Insomnia
Loss of appetite leading to malnutrition and weight loss
Cold sweats
Swelling and bleeding of mucous membranes
Restlessness and anxiety
Damage to nasal cavities
Damage to lungs
Possible heart attacks, strokes, or convulsions


Ecstasy | CESAR

Short-term effects of ecstasy use can include:

Muscle tension
Heightened senses
Hallucinations
Euphoria
Empathy for others/emotional warmth
Anxiety or paranoia
Involuntary teeth or jaw clenching
Nausea
Extreme relaxation
Severe dehydration (especially when mixed with alcohol)
Heat exhaustion
Increased body temperature up to 108 degrees (especially when dancing)
Increased blood pressure, breathing rate, and heart rate
Faintness
Chills or sweating
Blurred vision or nystagmus - rapid quivering of the pupils (while the user is feeling peak effects)

Long-term effects of ecstasy use can include:

Confusion
Depression
Sleep problems
Drug craving
Severe anxiety
Paranoia
Possible depletion of serotonin and memory.
Death

I also notice there is no reference to Suicide Tuesday for ectasy. But, I guess the death part is probably covering that effect.

[Silly Mech]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

You may not like how IAPR put it but the reality is that they are right on target.

I have a feeling that NYE is not going to live up to all the fantasies you are building up and despite the X there are going to be at least 2 people sorely dissapointed in th evening.

On the upside, it's good that you are all talking about this NOW while there are no drugs involved in the decision making process. But regardless of that there are two big issues that will be there X or not.... 1 is the risk that any of you may wake up the next morning with regrets and ruin a friendship and 2 is the fact that there will be a 4th party at the party who doesn't want to be involved (but whom everyone else would like to be involved). So even if you don't lose the friend who does play with you, your wife needs to consider that allowing this to go down with her friend there who does not want to play may damage that friendship.

Thanks for the advice Julie. But don't get me wrong, if my wife's friend is attending, then there will be no threesome. My wife and I will still get some time to fool around but this isn't something we'd ever consider doing while her best friend is a guest.

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

A simple comparison between ectasy and cocaine side effects. Just wanted to see how not so terrible it really is.



cocaine side effects

Cocaine side effects include but are not limited to:

Changes in blood pressure
Heart rates
Breathing rates
Nausea
Vomiting
Anxiety
Convulsions
Insomnia
Loss of appetite leading to malnutrition and weight loss
Cold sweats
Swelling and bleeding of mucous membranes
Restlessness and anxiety
Damage to nasal cavities
Damage to lungs
Possible heart attacks, strokes, or convulsions


Ecstasy | CESAR

Short-term effects of ecstasy use can include:

Muscle tension
Heightened senses
Hallucinations
Euphoria
Empathy for others/emotional warmth
Anxiety or paranoia
Involuntary teeth or jaw clenching
Nausea
Extreme relaxation
Severe dehydration (especially when mixed with alcohol)
Heat exhaustion
Increased body temperature up to 108 degrees (especially when dancing)
Increased blood pressure, breathing rate, and heart rate
Faintness
Chills or sweating
Blurred vision or nystagmus - rapid quivering of the pupils (while the user is feeling peak effects)

Long-term effects of ecstasy use can include:

Confusion
Depression
Sleep problems
Drug craving
Severe anxiety
Paranoia
Possible depletion of serotonin and memory.
Death

I also notice there is no reference to Suicide Tuesday for ectasy. But, I guess the death part is probably covering that effect.

We're actually very responsible, familiar and comfortable with the pills we're taking. We drop maybe twice a year and we make sure we have plenty of water to drink in case we get dehydrated, a safe environment to dance and have fun in and we're all very comfortable around each other when we do drop (friends included). We know all the precautions and warnings, and make sure no one does or at least attempts to do anything stupid.

Maybe what I'm not making to clear is this: the pills aren't nothing new and neither is having our friends while we're doing it. The only thing that will be different is this possibility of a threesome, and even then, this is something that all three of us have discussed openly amongst each other.

And thanks everyone for your input. This helps us to consider certain things before we have decided to get ahead and push for this.

[ncmd_couple]

Ah, but there is a possibility of a fourth, totally unknowing what is going on. Throw a little drugs in there, and you may know what your reaction was in the past, but you won't know what it will be this time. Or his, or hers, or yours. Deal with things straight first.

S

[iapr]

Originally Posted by ncmd_couple

Ah, but there is a possibility of a fourth, totally unknowing what is going on. Throw a little drugs in there, and you may know what your reaction was in the past, but you won't know what it will be this time. Or his, or hers, or yours. Deal with things straight first.

S

Yeah, anytime there is any kind of intoxicants involved the risk of something bad happening increases dramatically. Noone can ever guarentee 100% safety but it is pretty rare that anything truly bad happens when all parties are completely sober and clearheaded.

It does not matter what the intoxicant is, whether it be "only" ecstasy, only alcohol, only MJ, only cocaine...whatever.

The more under the influence you are of anything the greater your chances of doing something dumb. The more people in the room that are under the influence the more chances of everyone doing something dumb.

[iapr]

Originally Posted by Silly Mech

Plus we think this is a better road to take than with a stranger or starting a whole new friendship with another person or couple so we can swing.

Other than the drugs this is also a legitimate concern and I'm going to be serious and not sarcastic or flippant.

Read through enough of the posts on this board or even pose it as another question and you will see that the vast majority of the experienced and knowledgable posters on this board will HIGHLY recommend that you not bring friends into your bedroom.

It is very common for people to want to make their first baby steps into swinging with established friends and it is almost always a bad idea. It really is a better road to take to meet established swingers for swinging encounters rather than vanilla friends.

Keep your vanilla friends vanilla and enjoy their company for golfing or fishing or whatever it is you do with them and swing with swingers.

I'm not joking around or making wise-guy comments this time..mixing judgement-altering drugs, vanilla friends is a bad idea. And if I am reading your response correctly this friend does not know you are planning on bringing him into your bed? If so then drugs + vanilla friend + ambush is a really really bad idea.