Were we had?

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by bbarnsworth

If you and your wife had fun, take the fun. Don't over analyze. You probably were had. So what?

My thoughts as well. As long as you enjoyed what did happen, why let it get to you so much. Yes, the guy probably lied to you and for that I wouldn't want to see him again... but why throw away what was otherwise a good night over it. Ya had fun...

[SandJinVT]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

but why throw away what was otherwise a good night over it. Ya had fun...

I'm thinking the same as Julie here. There's nothing to question yourselves over. You went, you played with him in an MFM, and you left. You had a good time, you've already figured out he's a single male, but that doesn't matter at the moment. The ONLY thing that matters is that you had a good time - the rest is in the past. :-)

[willyoats]

We went to a convention that was suppose to be couples only, but the check-in desk didn't verify that the people registering had a partner. Also attending that time was a guy we had known previously who was not married but who had always had a GF with him (with whom we had partied on occasion). This time, the GF always seemed to be somewhere else. At meals, she was "not feeling well and was eating in the room." At the various meetings and party rooms she was no where to be found. We finally concluded that he had faked his way in, although we didn't confirm that.

As it happened, he did bang my wife in a group room.

A year later we went to a convention run by the same group. When I registered I couldn't get all of the material until my wife parked the car and fronted up to the desk to prove that we were a couple. I asked why there was this change in procedure. I was told that the previous year a single had sneaked in and they didn't want a repeat.

I don't think we were "had." We were willing participants with a guy who we found out later was untruthful. So what? It didn't change how much fun my wife had with him.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- As far as questioning whether the lifestyle is for you. You were not taken advantage of by a Swing Couple. You were taken advantage by a single guy, poser wannabe, flim-flam man. That is a very different thing. If we ever arrive and things are not as advertised, we leave, we do not accommodate a weakened or bad situation and neither should you.

But hey, your wife had a blast, so I'd just laugh it off.

[VANudistcpl]

To agree with just about everyone else, you probably were played by a single guy. In fact we were contacted recently by a "couple" and invited over for dinner. Before we accepted Ms VANudist asked to speak with his wife. That was last week and we still haven't heard from her.

Just remember Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

[JustMrJ]

This sounds similar to our first encounter in the lifestyle too... we later found out this guy, who poses as a couple on Swing Lifestyle, is also shunned by quite a few of the party groups in our area.

Don't let this discourage you in the least, you had great anticipation and expectation and let the moment take you.

Now you are wiser and more prepared.

If you are to meet with a couple and that couple is not present and the person that showed is making excuses for the other, politely tell them you will have to reschedule when both halves are present as that is a 'rule' you have. Nothing more needs to be said to that person. If they hem and haw, then just leave and don't contact them again. PERIOD.

Only do what makes YOU feel comfortable. Remember that you and your spouse need to discuss these things ahead of time now that you know and one can see what the other may not and you can communicate and be able to prevent these situations in the future.

Good luck and above all... have fun!

[Malachista]

Perhaps the problem is that the wife had fun.
The original poster may feel strange because they (or at least he) only wanted a couple, but now found out that the wife can have fun with a MFM as well, and now feels left out

(I came across two couples who left the LS because the guy suddently had a problem because the wife started to enjoy MFM rather then the originally planned couple/couple)

[Chris&Amelia]

That's a possibility, Malachista.

Me? Personally... I think we would have been "Um... so... tell ya what. Get a hold of us when your girlfriend shows up. I'm sure we could arrange something." But then, neither Amelia or I are fond of pushy people in general, and would have left at that point based on that fact alone. We don't find "pushy" to be attractive at all.

Sounds like you guys got conned. Too many odd "coincidences"... other couples already left, girlfriend was still stuck at work, etc. But, as others pointed out, it wasn't a disaster (wife was satisfied) and you learned a lesson.

[Pensacolapair]

"were we had?"

Yes.. you were. And as has already been said, it should be a learning experience. (really no other options)

The really sad part about this is that using these tactics, this guy had success.... which means that there's really no reason for him not to pull it again.