Do some couples disappear after a great time in bed?

I want to thank everyone on this board. You have really helped us along in our search.

Long story short. We met this wonderful couple and we had our first play session. It was our first swap and we LOVED it Before that night we had met several times and the 4 of us got along really well. Anyways, the 4 of us used to chat at least once a day and always had plans to meet again before they left for the night.

After the night we all played they sent us a couple of IM'S saying they had a great time etc. We wrote and said likewise and had a few questions for them. That was a week ago and they have disappeared. We haven;t heard from them.

So my question is do some couples after they meet a new couple and go out few times and have a great time and then get them in bed just disappear? I know this is a general question, but what are others experiences. We are new to this and we just wondering. We know there are more fish in the sea, but they were so good to us and really enjoyed being around them.

[JustAskJulie]

It could be that once you guys all took that next step they didn't feel the chemistry as there as thought it would be (or one or the other didn't enjoy the sex as much as they had hoped) and rather than just be honest with you, they are stepping back and hoping you'll take a hint.

[SecretAsianMan]

Could have been any number of things ... maybe they've gone out of town for a little while. Maybe they were "newbies" as well & things need to be worked out on their end. Maybe they didn't feel the chemistry was right between y'all.

...((shrug))...

Sometimes, they just vanish

[fun4Ds]

Give them a chance Sometimes we are but a passing thing in life..... It doesent make it any less.

It sounds like good memories for you with them. Some couples we have only seen a few times a year. Some never again.

Have you concidered moving foward and finding new playmates ?

[two42lovers]

Just curious, what questions did you ask? Any chance it was off-putting or pushy? Doesn't sound like it, but just asking.

A week isn't a long time... maybe they just want to take a little break from the daily communication? Was it also their first time? You guys already exchanged the "we had a good time" IMs - a good sign they want to link up again at some point. Doesn't sound like you have been, but be careful to not be pushy or invasive. People have regular lives and life intervenes.

To your question, yes, people do "disappear". They get busy, stop swinging, only swing once in a while, play with someone else, decide they only want to play with any given person once, or only infrequently, ect. All you can really do is be friendly and invite them.

If people you play with want to get together again, they will. Best bet is to be easy-going and inviting, never impatient or demanding. Take the long view, and be open to playing again when the time is right. Like you said, plenty of fish in the sea. We've found building a circle of friends was a good way to go for us.

[Alura]

Absolutely anything could have happened and y'all have no way of knowing what it may have been.

I remember long ago Mrs. Alura and I met a great couple. We had a dynamite time and looked forward to a fun future. We learned they were going to move the next week but our plans were to meet again after they'd finished the relocation. They gave us their future phone number and cautioned us that it would be unlisted because of his job. That was on Friday.

On Saturday, we took Mrs. Alura's mother to the hospital. On Monday she died. For the next few weeks our life was a turmoil, dealing with a funeral, emptying Grandmother's apartment, donating her car, and buying a bigger house in order to be able to accommodate, among other things, a grand piano.

By the time we could think about swinging again, the phone number was lost, we were moved, and we were never able to locate them again. I've often wondered if they thought they'd done something to cause us to "drop off the face of the earth."

Be patient, and call them if you have their number. Anytime we speculate, we stand a better than even chance of being wrong.

Mr. Alura

[lustylearning]

A week really isn't a long time, not when there are jobs and kids and homes and social lives. Be patient. Consider that the lead up to play can be intense, but continuing that upkeep isn't the goal. The goal is to develop a comfortable play friendship. Sometimes it takes a couple of weeks to take everything in. Don't sweat it.

[BiloxiCouple]

I agree. You said it's only been a week.

They may have had other plans or something came up. You don't own them yet.

In the meantime, keep looking.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by lustylearning

Consider that the lead up to play can be intense, but continuing that upkeep isn't the goal. The goal is to develop a comfortable play friendship.

I'd like to emphasize this point made by lustylearning.

The build up to meeting FOR SEX is when your adrenaline is flowing. You're psyched, and contact via e-mail and IM can be daily (as yours was) anticipating the play. Once you've played, you come down to "normal"...you can't expect yourselves - or them - to run full speed all the time or you'd burn out fast.

It's good to hear that they IMd you right after you all played. Some people don't even get back to you! So consider yourselves fortunate and look at that as a positive sign. I wouldn't be worried about hearing from them this past week. As others have said, they could have about anything keeping them occupied. Swinging is only a hobby and other things take priority in life.

Don't pressure them to communicate at the pace you once did, or you may loose them. That can feel too klingy for some people and they back away. Better to let things develop into a more casual pace and hope you'll get the opportunity to play again.

And keep looking for other great people to meet!

Glad you had fun and please register so that you can reply to this thread. I would like to hear how things go.



LM

[Pepper & Drew]

I agree, it has only been a week. They may be back to school shopping. They may have had an argument and are working it out. They may have had a family emergency, like the Aluras talked about. They may have been abducted by aliens and undergoing painful anal probings right now.

Seriously, in the lifestyle, you never know why couples drop out. A couple we know stopped coming to the socials, and 8 months later we found out that he had a serious back injury and a complication from that nearly killed him. We know 2 couples over the years that vanished and it turned out they were both splitting up. We know one couple where he had a heart attack. Life happens to the best of us.

Pepper

[Playful1]

Yes, some couples will do that. It all depends on what they are in swinging for. They may have had a fine time, but have no interest in continuing a friendship, etc.

I know several couples who play pretty regularly but probably only see the same couple if they really really clicked. Otherwise, it is "that was fun, thanks" and they move on. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you (or them for that matter) it just means you had different expectations coming out of it.

Just for reference, singles will do this too sometimes. I have certainly played with people at a party and then never seen them again.

As others have mentioned, it is also possible that they are just busy, etc. For most people swinging is a hobby, not their life, so other things interfere sometimes.

[realcplub2]

Ok.. bottom line , Yes there are assholes out there that will DO this, then there are people that due to unforseen circumstances, much like Alura detailed, make it impossible to get back to you.. or vise versa..

If this issue is going to be plaguing you, make a phone call or two.. ASSUMING you have thier numbers..

I can only guess you found each other online considering the pattern presented, if no number is available, have they signed in? better yet, send another email with return reciept.. then you know if its been read

if its not, its innocent until proven otherwise.. Does that preculde you from SHOPPING? Nope.. give a reasonable amount of time, and when and if they pop back in GREAT, jsut explain to your new friends, and Hey who knows.. maybe your freinds wanna meet your friends.. and so on and so on, and so on....