Wife's Friend Flirts with Me...

[travcouple]

I have been debating about putting this here for a while and I have finally decided to do so. Please bear with me.

My wife has a friend that flirts with me often and I flirt right back. I have always viewed this as harmless since she is not (to my knowledge) in the lifestyle. Her huband is very conservative and somewhat a jerk. If he knew that she and I flirted the way we do he would be pissed. Like I said I have always viewed this as harmless and nevr thinking it ould go anywhere. I would like it to go somewhere.

I moved my family away due to my job. My wife and her friend stayed in touch. While I was traveling for business last summer her friend came to visit her. One night, after a few drinks, they decided to send me some pictures. Nothing to explicit, lingerie for my wife and bra and panties with one of my shirts for her friend. Now I'm not so sure of the innocent flirting. I talked to her shortly after I got the pictures and thanked her for them (my wife got a much more ardent thanking when I got home).

My wife and I have talked about me being with her friend and of course my wife has no problem with it. I am now moving back and I would like to move past flirting with this friend, but I am not sure how to approach it since seh doesn't know about our lifestyle. I also don't want to make the attempt to move past flirting and jeopardize my wife's friedship with her or the friendship I have with her.

So what are your opinions.

[cubnamy1995]

Hi there! One question. What about the other husband? Is he still in the picture? If so, will this happen behind his back?

[travcouple]

Unfortunately it would happen behind his back. I'm ok with that if she is, but I don't want to destroy her marriage either. She isn't happy, but isn't going to leave him either.

I may be going way out on a limb and nothing is ever going past flirting and my imagination is running away with me.

[cubnamy1995]

This is just me, but I wouldn't. The idea of doing something intentionally deceptive just isn't what swinging is about for us. You would be engaged with a cheating married woman, and whether you want to or not, you could be contributing to the destruction of another relationship. There's nothing wrong with telling the lady about your interest, but I would be clear that it couldn't happen so long as they are still together.

Again, that is just me, but I would suspect there are many on this site who will agree with me. Swinging is great so long as it is ethical. Good luck.

[Dreamcouple]

You should NOT do this without her husband. She is your wife's friend. So your wife should talk to her and set things up with her and her husband. In fact it would be better if the both you........you and your wife talk to them. And tell them your swingers. And that you like them and ask them if they would would like to play with you.

[fun4Ds]

[quote]

Originally Posted by travcouple

I have been debating about putting this here for a while and I have finally decided to do so.

My wife has a friend that flirts with me often and I flirt right back. I have always viewed this as harmless since she is not (to my knowledge) in the lifestyle. Her huband is very conservative and somewhat a jerk. If he knew that she and I flirted the way we do he would be pissed.

I moved my family away due to my job.

My wife and I have talked about me being with her friend and of course my wife has no problem with it. I am now moving back and I would like to move past flirting with this friend, but I am not sure how to approach it since seh doesn't know about our lifestyle. I also don't want to make the attempt to move past flirting and jeopardize my wife's friedship with her or the friendship I have with her.

Originally Posted by travcouple

Unfortunately it would happen behind his back. I'm ok with that if she is, but I don't want to destroy her marriage either. She isn't happy, but isn't going to leave him either.

I may be going way out on a limb and nothing is ever going past flirting and my imagination is running away with me.

Im just not sure what reaction you expect here. I don't think you want advice since you asked for opinions.

But since I'm in a great mood this morning ill give mine. I'm not sure who is deceiving who in your swinging experience or relationship. How do you trust anyone while your away? You would cheat on your wifes best friends husband, Your wife would condone her best friend cheating with you,and her best friend is flirting behind her husbands back.. But while your away everyone is honest with you, and your back door is safe. Makes sense so far.

We didn't get a chance to welcome you to the Swingers Board, sorry about that.

Let me tell you my problems today, from someone who would never cheat on even my worst enemy. Yes we have something in common, I had a hard time posting this as well..My wifes friends know me very well.. We have been in this lifestyle a short time compared to our lives... What we have done so far is earn allot of trust in our marriage, and friendships with fellow swingers. Especially my wifes friends. I have been working 16 hour days for the most part, but i have this weekend off. Throughout any time away, there is not a doubt that my home is safe.

Because of my trust and integrity. My wife has arranged a fun evening with her friend who would never cheat. Possibly a stay over, we shall see. Now this friend of hers last time was over at our home, fucked and sucked me with my wife, till they brought me to my Knees. And i even got a few photos, but to be honest, the 4 hours they put me in Ecstasy, I really couldn't think of the damn camera. My problem now is keeping up with them. My wife has rented a movie and made high energy snacks that are in the fridge. She has told me this morning while she is away today, Hang out on the swingers board, take naps its a Me, Me, day. They should be here around 7:30 this eve.

Still I have problems with these honest women. Last time i took half a Viagra, and I'm worried about the 4 hr. hard on. No shit, I've never had that happen before Anyone could guess I'm going to take a half one again this evening. And still the problems go on... My wife gets a little freaky at times. She has told me they want to try them being in a 69, and me fucking my wife from behind, wants me to kinda dip down and let her friend suck me from time to time. I don't know what to even call it? Pussy to mouth to pussy? I really don't know. All this, because I'm honest. No way would this happen with a friend of hers who would cheat on their husbands.

May lightning strike me dead if I'm being dishonest in any way with you now.

But thats the thing, I'm here for a reason. I'm thinking, because I would treat any of my wifes friends husbands Fair and Honest. We just cant see your lifestyle approach with your fantasy. But then again, we all have our problems, Don't We? I don't think I could handle yours. But i just wish maybe you could see my point of view in life. Give it a try, Whats to loose?

[des1re06]

Danger zone.

Cheating isn't swinging, but you know that.

Enjoy the flirting and teasing, until she resolves the problem on her own with her husband or they come to an agreement that she can play without him. I seriously doubt that will happen by what you say of him.

If you come out to him, expect it to be spread far and wide that you're swingers and worse. Then the fun friendship is over.

Mr. & Mrs. D

[ncmd_couple]

I’m running a tad behind schedule this morning, as we have to pack the truck and head to NY for the weekend. But what the hell, it is only time.

First off, don’t read a book by its cover. My public persona is that of a conservative white male professional. And there are probably a few folks out there in my business and personal interactions who consider me to be a jerk. That is ok, because that is what I want them to think. What I do in my personal life IS in my personal life. And I keep my public persona completely separate from who I am in my personal life. So don’t make assumptions.

Secondly, flirting with someone, even “a girl’s evening together” where they send you some slightly naughty pictures, is fun. But you need to keep this in perspective. It is flirting.

If they are having problems, the last thing you and your wife want to do is get in the middle of their personal relationship problems. I can’t think of a single good outcome in all of this if you take this past the flirting stage.

If you and your wife, after talking about this together, think her girlfriend is interested in swinging, you can have your wife provide her with links to this board and offer to answer her questions. But don’t do any more than that. If she and her husband decide that this is something that they want to do, all fine and good. Let them learn this their own way and just cheer them on from the sidelines.

But, until they make their own life choices, and either get their collective acts together, whether that be swinging or not, or they split up for their own reasons. I strongly recommend that you don’t get sexually involved with her under any circumstances. If say, two years down the road they have taken up swinging, successfully on their own, and their relationship has stabilized, or if they split and she has stabilized after the split, then if you all get together, have fun.

[SCcpl40]

Sometimes when your dealing with flirtations outside of the lifestyle you have the upper hand. You've been able to take those flirtations and act on them, whereas others in the vertical world are just thinking it's just flirting and what's the harm because nothing is going to come of this.

We go to church and there are several couples in our Sunday school group that like to flirt and make innuendos, also people from work and other vertical social circles, we just look at each other and smile. We consider them to be off limits and not of the mental age of consent in the lifestyle. Taking advantage of them would be like a pedophile over a child.

If however someone approaches us with some knowledge of the lifestyle and they are curious, we sit them down and tell them the facts. Then it's up to them as a couple to go forward.

We think your desire is clouding the big picture for you. they aren't in the lifestyle, it would be adultery without the husbands consent, and that depending where you live, could cause you to be in court.

Bottom line, unless both consent, you should back off.

[sweet_tna]

Situations like this are probably one of the bigger down sides to swinging. You have what would normally be a totally harmless flirtation with your wife's friend. If you weren't a swinger, it would most likely never go any further than that, regardless of whether the husband is a jerk or not.

But because ya'll are swingers and have--with others in the lifestyle been able to go beyond flirting, you're now entertaining these thoughts. Not good. Most folks on here will advise that swinging with vanilla friends is a major no-no. The reason for that is that it's not worth the potential drama and loss of friendship.

The BIGGER problem you have here is that the husband doesn't know about the flirting, and would not be on board with your intentions. Anytime you do something without the knowledge and consent of everyone involved, it is CHEATING. I do not, nor do many of the other folks on this board, condone this behavior.

My advice is to let this go NO further. Best of luck to ya'll.

[havefuninsun]

Dude -- I totally understand all of this, but the bottom line is that you don't want to deal with this drama ... and it will be drama ... and if the guy is a real asshole -- gesh. I don't even want to imagine what will go on!!

[Alura]

I don't know about California, Travcouple, but Oklahoma is a "concealed carry" state. That means that if you act out your fantasy, you could be looking down the wrong end of a Colt .45, especially since they already have domestic problems.

It happened here in Tulsa recently. A man and a wife were carried out of a motel room feet first, and a husband is in jail facing two capital homicide charges. Three children are orphans.

Is it worth the risk?

Mr. Alura

[VegasLee]

We have found that if it is something that we have to "think about" chances are it is not the right thing to do.

Keep life simple, there are to many real swingers in this world without taking a chance of messing up other people relationships.

[ratimadan]

Quote:

"I have been debating about putting this here for a while and I have finally decided to do so. Please bear with me.

My wife has a friend that flirts with me often and I flirt right back. I have always viewed this as harmless since she is not (to my knowledge) in the lifestyle. Her huband is very conservative and somewhat a jerk. If he knew that she and I flirted the way we do he would be pissed. Like I said I have always viewed this as harmless and nevr thinking it ould go anywhere. I would like it to go somewhere."

Travcouple:

The situation you relate is not too uncommon. In fact, it's all too common for another woman to have a crush on another woman's hubby. The difference lies in how one handles the situation. We have faced and are still facing a similar situation with wife's best friend (Su) who is married. She had suggested to my wife on several occassions that she was interested in a partner swap with us two and she and her hubby, and, have intercourse with each other's mate. Needless to say that her husband is not interested in sex, leave alone swapping mates with another couple for sexual play and intercourse.

A while ago the three of us, me wife and Su, had to babysit Su's grandkids overnight on a Saturday. Wife was in bed with one and Su was with the other. I was in another bedroom getting ready for bed. Su had left her suitcase there, open, with her nylon panty which she had removed previously, in view. Shortly thereafter, Su came into the bedroom to kiss me goodnight. A light goodnight kiss on the lips turned into embrace and passionate kissing. I removed her top and then dropped her nitie to the floor. Su had her hand on my dick. Both of us moved on to the bed naked and I gave her an oral kiss on her vaginal lips and her clit. Su had spread her thighs and was guiding my hard cock into her pussy. Suddenly, I realized that fucking her meant commiting adultry. This is certainly not what the lifestyle is about. We disengaged ourselves from the brink of the two of us fucking and having intercourse.

Next day I confessed and told my wife what had happened the night before. We have decided that the only way I would have sex with Su is to do a full partner swap with Su and her hubby, where Su's hubby is given the opportunity to fuck my wife and I get to fuck Su. Let's see where this leads to. Until then we are at a standstill as far as Su is concerned.

R&M

[travcouple]

OK, I think I had to put this here to confirm what I already felt.

There are some other details I haven't put here, just to not get too detailed in cas someone who Knew us and some of the situation stumbled upon this.

After reading a lot of these responses, I guess I look like a pretty big jerk. My body tells me to go farther with the attraction, however my mind does not. I think I really knew what most would say before I posted this, but wanted to get it off my chest anyway.

Thank you all for your input.