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annoying married men

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We were invited to a pool party but never met the couple hosting it. We were invited through mutual friends. We decided to bring my wife's "boy toy" with us, we have known him for years and he is very respectful. When we got there I knocked on the door first and introduced myself. I asked him if we could bring our friend with us. We were prepared to go to one of the local clubs if the host didn't want our friend to join us at the party. We had no intention of playing at the party or even going to the play areas.The host made it seem like it was a big deal." we really don't like single males in our parties", Blah blah blah, but invited us in anyways. When we got into the party this same host was all over my wife, grabbing her, stalking her. When she asked were the bathroom was he directed her upstairs where there was no one around. When she left the bathroom he was right in front of the door waiting for her. There were a couple of other guys with there wives no where to be found trying to get my wife to take her top off. She has very nice 32DD's. I'm starting to think that it's the married guys we need to watch out for and not the single guys. This happens all the time at the clubs. Funny thing is, not on single guy nights, just on couples nights. I'm starting to avoid the ads that say in big bold letters "NO SINGLE MEN".

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I have been posting here for years and have said many times, we have had to ban many more COUPLES from the club then we have single men.

 

% wise, single women are the most banned, then couples, then single men.

 

Until you have spent over 15 years hosting parties that allow couples, single women and single men you won't understand the drama some groups can cause at parties and who is really causing the problems. Most like to assume it is the single guys. :(

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Sounds like he didn't want single guys there because it might cause some competition. :confused:

 

I'm with Lee, I think most people assume it's single men that are the problems. More than likely, it's the married men. I've been to meet & greets, and more than not, it's the married men that are all hands while the singles are more respectful of my space and follow the no touching without permission. :)

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At our recent house party, we had 2 single man, and they were polite, respectful and very very popular. I don't have a problem with single men at an event, within reason. It's not the marital status that determines whether a guy is a jerk or not. I have a single male friend whom I would love to be able to take to more events with us!

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We had no intention of playing at the party or even going to the play areas.

While I agree with what Lee said above, I can't help but ask the obvious, at least obvious to me.

 

If you had no intention in participating in the party, why did you go in the first place?

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While I agree with what Lee said above, I can't help but ask the obvious, at least obvious to me.

 

If you had no intention in participating in the party, why did you go in the first place?

 

The same reason we go to clubs. To socialize. Does that mean whenever we go to a club we need to leave with someone? :confused:

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Sounds like he didn't want single guys there because it might cause some competition. :confused:

 

I'm with Lee, I think most people assume it's single men that are the problems. More than likely, it's the married men. I've been to meet & greets, and more than not, it's the married men that are all hands while the singles are more respectful of my space and follow the no touching without permission. :)

 

I think you're right. Alot of these guys think this way. "If I'm bringing my wife to the party what are you bringing ?" Btw, a few of the wives at the party were hitting on our single friend and I mean HITTING on him and their husbands were nowhere to be found. So, I'm starting to see it's more the male part of the couple that has issues with it than the female half.

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The same reason we go to clubs. To socialize. Does that mean whenever we go to a club we need to leave with someone? :confused:

No, but most folks go to a club or party with the intention of meeting people they would like to play with. So I guess I don't understand why you would be offended if men hit on your wife at a swinging event. Fact is, while a lot of us go to the clubs and end up just socializing because no one strikes our interest that night, that is not the primary purpose of the clubs or parties. Furthermore, if you go to a club or a party and are offended when guys hit on your wife, whether they are married or not, it makes me wonder why you would go there in the first place.

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While I think putting no single men in your ad is redundant when most sites let you set what you are looking for, and I don't think it stops many, I can't blame couples who are sick of cock shots, fake couples, and the general rude behavior that is often exhibited by single men online.

 

Now at a club, of course you will have less of a problem, because most don't have the guts, and they know they will be kicked out easily if they go and misbehave. I think some married men think because they brought some pussy they get to be over the top, but its rather harder to weed those out until they do something.

 

Added just because your behavior isn't kick outable at a club, doesn't mean its welcome by couples either. Having had friends who went to a famous club which allows single men to come in unlimited, they said that it was 'creepy' where the guys would just follow couples around hoping something would happen that they could watch, and the few places sex was happening there were a bunch of single guys just watching.

 

Now maybe the towel crowd is some peoples thing and thats fine, but most of us dont' want to attend sausage fests when we go to clubs.

 

Generally the reason for the 'no single men' is that its couples looking for couples, not a behavior reason. Were the same guy to to bring a wife/girlfriend all would be fine.

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No, but most folks go to a club or party with the intention of meeting people they would like to play with. So I guess I don't understand why you would be offended if men hit on your wife at a swinging event. Fact is, while a lot of us go to the clubs and end up just socializing because no one strikes our interest that night, that is not the primary purpose of the clubs or parties. Furthermore, if you go to a club or a party and are offended when guys hit on your wife, whether they are married or not, it makes me wonder why you would go there in the first place.

 

Maybe thats what you like to do when you go to clubs or parties but we go for our own reasons and for you to tell me that our reasons are wrong or inaccurate. Well, thats just being stupid. Furthermore, you should re-read my post. Not once did I say that I didn't like other men hitting on my wife. I actually love it. It's a turn on for me. But when a drunk idiot keeps going on about having her remove her top so he can have a look, thats just wrong and when a guy follows her to the bathroom and blocks her way out thats disrespectful. I'm not sure what type of lifestyle you're in but the one we're in looks down on crap like that.:nono:

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We were invited to a pool party but never met the couple hosting it. We were invited through mutual friends. We decided to bring my wife's " boy toy" with us, ...

 

From what I've learned about swinger etiquette, you might have been wise to ask if it was ok to bring a boy toy before arriving, rather than have a plan "B" (going to another club), in case that was unacceptable. It's usually not good to make assumptions in the lifestyle.

 

When she left the bathroom he was right in front of the door waiting for her. There were a couple of other guys with there wives no where to be found trying to get my wife to take her top off.

 

If I understand the OP correctly, he's saying that he didn't appreciate the host and a few other guys trying to blindside his wife when she walked out of the bathroom. I can understand his frustration with this. I don't care for men who lack self confidence and who try to hit on my wife when no one else is around, in effect, trying to shield himself from embarrassment should he be rejected. I welcome men, single or married, to hit on my wife in front of other people including myself. It displays a level of confidence that assures me he is seasoned and knows what he is doing. It also helps to assure me that he will likely treat her the way she wants to be treated should she decide to play with him.

 

 

Posted by good times

If you had no intention in participating in the party, why did you go in the first place?

 

We host monthly M&G's as well as attend socials and house parties. We almost never go with expectations of participating (playing). More than anything, we are there to network and socialize. If we find people we want to play with, and the present time doesn't feel to be the best (for what ever reason), we will bend over backwards to make it happen later. This approach has been extremely successful for us.

 

 

Originally Posted by LFM2

it's the married men that are all hands while the singles are more respectful of my space and follow the no touching without permission.

 

Interesting statement. There is another current thread regarding the issue of permission. I like Vegas Lee's viewpoint since it parallels ours. It's her body and her space, therefore, her decision to grant or deny permission to be touched.

 

 

Originally Posted by good times

Furthermore, if you go to a club or a party and are offended when guys hit on your wife, whether they are married or not, it makes me wonder why you would go there in the first place.

 

I hope funn will correct me if I misunderstood him, it seems that he didn't appreciate the tactics used on his wife, not that she was hit on. It sounded as though funn was not standing at the bathroom door which would mean his wife would have had to tell him what had taken place. It seems reasonable that she was bothered by what happened and conveyed that when she told him, which would have in turn frustrated him.

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Generally the reason for the 'no single men' is that its couples looking for couples, not a behavior reason. Were the same guy to to bring a wife/girlfriend all would be fine.

 

 

no one ever complains about single women at the clubs so I guess it's not always couples looking for couples. Double standards?

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From what I've learned about swinger etiquette, you might have been wise to ask if it was ok to bring a boy toy before arriving, rather than have a plan "B" (going to another club), in case that was unacceptable. It's usually not good to make assumptions in the lifestyle.

 

You are absolutely correct. we've been in the lifestyle for many years and have hosted many parties. I went in to talk to the host first in private. Our friend and my wife waited in the car. I told the host that if it was any kind of problem we wouldn't be offended and would just hit one of the local clubs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I hope funn will correct me if I misunderstood him, it seems that he didn't appreciate the tactics used on his wife, not that she was hit on. It sounded as though funn was not standing at the bathroom door which would mean his wife would have had to tell him what had taken place. It seems reasonable that she was bothered by what happened and conveyed that when she told him, which would have in turn frustrated him.

 

You are correct. The host directed my wife to a bathroom in an area of the house where there was no one around and shocked my wife when she was leaving the bathroom. She opened the door and found him standing there moaning with a creepy smile. She told me about it when she came back out.

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no one ever complains about single women at the clubs so I guess it's not always couples looking for couples. Double standards?

 

Laugh we don't look for single females anymore, we think 90% of them are a tad nuts in swinging.

 

That being said lets not go down the double standard route, its supply and demand.

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funn :

 

the married guy sounds like a real idiot. If your wife made it clear, she wasn`t interested, and I am guessing she did, wether with body language, or words, you most definetly don`t need to put up with that.

 

In the past, we have had many 3somes with adding a female, and played with couples too. It is a new adventure we start, looking for a single male for a FMM.

 

That said, I have found most of the men who responded to our ad, to be very nice, not pushy, and appreciative of the fact, that someone treats them like they matter, and not like garbage. Which is more then I can say for some of the married males, that were part of a couple. (responding to ads)

 

I do believe however, keeping single males to a minimum at clubs, is neccessary. There are just to many single males who are interested.

 

It would become a flooded market, of single males, and a very low count of single females to counter it.

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We were invited to a pool party but never met the couple hosting it. We were invited through mutual friends. We decided to bring my wifes " boy toy" with us, we have known him for years and he is very respectfull. When we got there I knocked on the door first and introduced myself. I asked him if we could bring our friend with us. We were prepared to go to one of the local clubs if the host didn't want our friend to join us at the party. We had no intention of playing at the party or even going to the play areas.The host made it seem like it was a big deal." we really don't like single males in our parties", Bla bla bla, but invited us in anyways. When we got into the party this same host was all over my wife, grabbing her, stalking her. When she asked were the bathroom was he directed her upsatirs where there was no one around. When she left the bathroom he was right in front of the door waiting for her. There were a couple of other guys with there wives no where to be found trying to get my wife to take her top off. She has very nice 32DD's. I'm starting to think that it's the married guys we need to watch out for and not the single guys. This happens all the time at the clubs. Funny thing is, not on single guy nights, just on couples nights. I'm starting to avoid the ads that say in big bold letters " NO SINGLE MEN" .
...WE NORMALLY AVOID ANY CLUB/PARTY THAT IS HOSTING A LADIES NITE,ITS USUALLY A REVERSE PHYSCOLAGY THING TO GET SINGEL MEN TO GO & ITS NORMALLY 1 WOMEN FOR EVERY 30MEN, AS WE CALL IT A COCK FEST!

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