Get Your Wife or Girlfriend to Swing - by Adrianne Taylor

[JustAskJulie]

I was convinced I would hate this book based on the title. I think it's because of how turned off I get when I see the question "How do I Convince (or get) My Wife to Swing". You can't convince someone to do something they don't want to do, and the idea that someone would try really bothers me.

However, this book is actually pretty good. It is written by women, from a womans point of view directed at men who are interested in swinging but don't know how to bring it up to their wives.

The one dissapointment I had with the book is that I didn't feel it spent enough time early on in establishing that a couple must have a very strong relationship and good communication before anyone considers bringing up the topic. Instead it jumps right into telling you that your desires are normal and that your wife has fantasies too. The book explains to men the questions they need to be able to answer for themselves, as well as their wives, before they ever bring up the topic. From there it goes into explaining why women typically think differently about sex than men do. After that it jumps right into the discussion on how to move forward in your plan to "Get Your Wife to Swing".

Honestly, Chapter 6 is a must read for all men, regardless of whether or not they want to swing, or are already swinging. It is a primer on romance and a great reminder about how important the non-sexual things are in building romance (and from there a great sex life). Chapter 7 guides you into taking things to the next level by incorporating porn into your diet, taking the wife to a strip club, etc. The strip club idea kinda bothered me because it does assume that all women are turned on by other women. We know this isn't true, and we also know that many women completely knew to the idea of swinging may be even more turned off by the idea of a strip club than they would be a swinger club (simply due to the idea that it's all women on display).

Chapter 9 bugged me a bit as it goes into the different ways you can actually bring up the subject of swinging. The first two ways require you to have a conversation with your wife while having a hidden agenda (sneak attack). Personally, I don't think any conversations between husbands and wives should have hidden agendas, especially not conversations of this magnitude. To me the only way to bring it up is the final way they introduce - the Straightfoward Approach. Even if you are using porn or the mention of something you saw on the internet as a conversation starter, it is always best to be honest about your intentions.

Chapter 10 addresses what are likely to be the wife's initial reactions to the discussion of swinging. The potential reactions are true, but the suggested responses to her reactions are more than a bit over-simplified.

Overall the book has some good ideas and some good ways to initiate discussion regarding swinging, as well as to continue discussion as you go along, but I feel it skips some very important issues - most importantly how important it is to have a well grounded relationship to start with. I also feel that it may encourage some men to be deceptive in the way that they approach their wives/girlfriends about swinging.

Other areas that the book attempts to address, the authors seem to try to get too specific and their information is based on their own experience and preferences rather than addressing it from the perspective that many things vary throughout the swinging world (ie. what to expect at a club, what the rules at clubs are, dress codes, etc).

I think this book is a good read in addition to other books on the lifestyle, mainly in terms of helping you get some good ideas on how to initiate communication, and like I said Chapter 6 should be read by everyone just for great ideas on how to improve your own relationship. However, it should not be a "be all end all" in terms of books to read on swinging, nor should it be taken as gospel. For those guys are "trying to convince their wife/girlfriend" to swing, this is NOT the answer and if you try to follow it without first ensuring that the parts they skipped (making sure your relationship is solid and communication is already established before bringing it up) are taken care of, you'll likely do more damage than good.

[Chicup]

God this is brilliant.

Why didn't I think of writing this book.

It doesn't matter how accurate it is, just think of the potential long term buyers just based on the forum

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Honestly, Chapter 6 is a must read for all men, regardless of whether or not they want to swing, or are already swinging. It is a primer on romance and a great reminder about how important the non-sexual things are in building romance (and from there a great sex life). Chapter 7 guides you into taking things to the next level by incorporating porn into your diet, taking the wife to a strip club, etc.

Now I'm intrigued. Some scientists say that love is a chemical. But the chemical cannot be synthetically synthesized. Love has to be re-kindled every once in a while. Too bad Amazon dot com won't sell Chapter 6 on its own.

Porn. I have never understood porn. I would think that a man would have to be very careful in launching porn at his wife or girlfriend and this would have the potential for causing a set-back. Maybe the book explains the "how to". There is a kind that you can get from a California mail order that is "made for women". The movies contain elements of romance. Now I can't find the name of the company or any of the old order receipts.

~M

[curioussnk]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

Porn. I have never understood porn. I would think that a man would have to be very careful in launching porn at his wife or girlfriend and this would have the potential for causing a set-back. Maybe the book explains the "how to". There is a kind that you can get from a California mail order that is "made for women". The movies contain elements of romance. Now I can't find the name of the company or any of the old order receipts.

~M

If you remember the name of that company I would like to know! I would love to sit and watch an entire "movie" and not just clips of porn!!!!

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by curioussnk

If you remember the name of that company I would like to know! I would love to sit and watch an entire "movie" and not just clips of porn!!!!

I found an old receipt. Good Vibrations Adult Movies and Products

[JustAskJulie]

I agree and I would say that beyond Chapter 6, the how-to's provided in the book are questionable. Chapter 6 is really good for ideas on rekindling romance and a good reminder for men (and women too) on how to remind your partner that they are important to you.

The how-tos in other chapters are much like the responses they give the men for the questions the women will bring up... just too vague. Kind of like saying "here go ride this bike" to someone who has never done it before.

[CXXC]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

I found an old receipt. Good Vibrations Adult Movies and Products

I believe you are talking about porn that has been written and directed by Candida Royale. She is big on the "NO MONEY SHOT" and womans view point. My Wife particularly enjoys her work.

[ktimephoenix]

Originally Posted by SW_PA_Couple

There is a kind that you can get from a California mail order that is "made for women". The movies contain elements of romance. Now I can't find the name of the company or any of the old order receipts.

~M

oh god i hate "made for women" type statements. the porn you describe would have Mrs P hitting eject faster than britney spears's new album... she skips scenes that are M/F, F/F, M/F/M, or F/M/F because their too generic and "boring"...

[sahajacpl]

We have'nt read this particular book, but have read most of the others. The other books we have read do offer very practical advise. What worked for us was watching quality porn movies that included explicit scenes of sexual intercourse, preferably involving couples swapping mates.

We, husband and wife, would also talk about couple or couples we liked and would be open to platying with and swapping mates for intercourse. Honey, how would you like to take (fuck) this guy's dick in your pussy, cause I would love to fuck his wife?

If your marriage is secure and you are open to swapping mates for sex, this works best in our experience. Books are some help, at best, but nothing like actually getting into swinging and experiencing the delights swinging and partner swap for sensuous play and intercourse with someone else's mate or spouse.