Review: The Ethical Slut, Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt

[rpu3]

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities
Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt
ISBN 1-890159-01-8

This book is an easy-to-read treatment of alternative sexual relationships and would highly recommend it to someone questioning traditional relationships or seeking guidance as to the care and feeding of such relationships or who just wants a good basic book on polyamory and open relationships. Much of the advice, especially communication and boundaries, is applicable to anyone in a relationship, vanilla or otherwise. It would a good foundation book to one's alternative sexual lifestyles library.

The authors define "slut" as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you" and segues their reclaiming of the word "slut"as a positive, gender-neutral word into practical discussion as to handling multiple sexual relationships in a ethical manner.

The book is divided into four parts. Part I focuses on our own relationship with our sexuality, ethics, values, language, skills and "slut" styles. Part II is about relationships with others, and has some of the most useful advice on boundaries and jealousy I've found in one resource. The book wants its readers to define their own boundaries and to appreciate others' boundaries through consideration, accountability and communication. There is more practical information here on setting personal boundaries, keeping agreements with your partner(s), respect, dealing with unpleasant emotions, fighting fair, nurturing a loving relationship, and maintaining personal integrity than I've seen in vanilla relationship books. Part III discusses health issues, legal issues and child rearing issues and is the shortest part of the book. Part IV is discusses the who and where in finding partners and environments to play in. The book also provides a good bibliography and resource list.

The book is straightforward and blunt. It makes clear that having multiple sexual partners may very well involve more jealousy, suspicion and insecurity on average and requires constant balancing and reevaluation and provides guidance to work through those issues. However, I felt it flippantly dismissed some potential issues or questions, especially in the do and don't lists scattered through the book. Others' mileage may vary, of course. I wish the book had discussed why multiple sexual partners works better on social, sexual, health, and economic levels than monogamy for some people and why they consider it worthwhile, given the potential issues. Regardless, it is a valued resource in my small collection of "alternative" books and one I refer to often.

This book's second edition, The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures, is scheduled for release in March, 2009.

[NotSorry]

Thanks for the the review! I came across this book at Borders the other day and started reading. So far it's an interesting and pleasant read. Google Books has quite an extended preview, allowing me to get a pretty big head start while I wait for my copy to come in the mail.

[Rembrandt]

I really enjoyed the book. It is outside of the type of writing that I normally read. I was most impressed with the fact that the authors worked toward and discovered some profound truths about love, sex, and their selves in an ethical and clear headed manner. They obviously have a strong sense of self and self-worth.
I highly recommend this book to any that is interested in "alternative living."

Rembrandt

[SW_PA_Couple]

This one, I have learned, is available for Amazon Kindle as is another reviewed in this forum, Swinging for Beginners: an Introduction to the Lifestyle by Kaye Bellemeade. I assume this is owing to the fact that they have relatively recent publication dates.

~M

[ALilOEverything]

I finally finished reading this book today. I bought it and started it a few years ago but the beginning of the book gave me a bad taste and I had a hard time getting into it. I'm really glad I did though, it really stimulates your thought processes and gives so much to talk about. It also didn't make you feel that you had to agree with everything it said, but that you need to form your own opinion and see out how it applies to you.

[sweet_tna]

Thanks for the review, I'll have to pick up a copy. My library (shock, amazement, disbelief) doesn't have it.

I swear I'll get an electronic reader one of these days . . .

=)

[SheLovesTheSun]

I've heard good things about the book and now it's got me curious! I'll have to pick one up.

[funcoupledayton]

I read the second edition of this book and found it to be interesting and thought-provoking. It is more focused toward polyamory and friends with benefits type relationships than NSA sex. It's definitely not a swinger's guide, but does a great job addressing many emotional and social aspects of swinging.

I'm a straight woman and it really helped me to be more open to the notion of bisexuality.

I would recommend it to new and experienced swingers.