So many pics of women, but little of men?

[exploringRM 305]

My wife and I are new to swinging. We check out profiles online both for couples that contact us with interest as well as looking for others to contact. Perhaps there is no answer (and maybe a generalization or just the site we belong to) but why so many pictures of the woman and so few of the man. For me, I like the pics of the women but of course the wife would like to see the other half of the couple. And when we do request pics of the guy, many times they are the worst possible picture, even though the person may be attractive in real life (like a grainy cell phone photo). I've read and understand that the women half of the couple holds the keys on the moving forward with a couple..so what's up with that. We have had limited experience and wife is bi-friendly, but she wants to see what the guy looks like!

[BiloxiCouple 694]

This has been discussed before and in some detail.

 

Many reasons why they only have a womans pic up. It can range from trying to be discreet or all the way to someone who is faking. Some don't post pics at all.

 

If you are going to take the time to e-mail us at least have a g-rated pic of you two together so we can see if there MIGHT be some chemistry.

 

Like a friend of mine said it takes attraction in all four directions. A picture is worth a thousand words. Your first impression of a couple is either what they look like in a picture or in real life, before the conversation begins. It's where we all begin at with wanting to swing with someone, then it goes from there. (I think the previous sentence could be the start of another thread!)

[exploringRM 305]

I figure this was discussed before, but wasn't sure how to narrow down a search request for that From our limited experience we like the meeting to happen face to face all at once, as in a club. Reason we are going to meetngreet this saturday

[WesternSwing 504]

I personally think it's part of the old gender double-standard: men like to show pictures of their hot wife and don't worry about discretion in that regard, but they are very shy about showing pics of themselves.

 

Second, many times it's a 10/4 relationship. She's a 10 and he's a "Damn, how the hell did he get hooked-up with her?!" I hate to say that, but it's true. At least we've found many, many instances of the wife being really attractive and the husband not being anything that turns Mrs. WS on at all... And her strike-zone with men is much wider than it is with women.

 

Mr. WS

[The Fuse 1,012]

I personally think it's part of the old gender double-standard: men like to show pictures of their hot wife and don't worry about discretion in that regard, but they are very shy about showing pics of themselves.

 

Second, many times it's a 10/4 relationship. She's a 10 and he's a "Damn, how the hell did he get hooked-up with her?!" I hate to say that, but it's true. At least we've found many, many instances of the wife being really attractive and the husband not being anything that turns Mrs. WS on at all... And her strike-zone with men is much wider than it is with women.

 

Mr. WS

Yep, that's one of the big ironies for me... I like men much more than women, but there are a lot of couples we meet when I say later, "Damn, I'd love to get with her, but her husband doesn't do anything for me!"

[JustAskJulie 2,588]

Yep, that's one of the big ironies for me... I like men much more than women, but there are a lot of couples we meet when I say later, "Damn, I'd love to get with her, but her husband doesn't do anything for me!"

 

 

Ditto that. I browse the profiles just as much as he does, and it drives me batty that so rarely do you get to see a picture of the guy. We actually put it in our profile that if you contact us you should attach or open a picture of BOTH members of the couple.

 

Don't worry Exploring, it's not just you...

 

I think that often the ones who do this (don't include the guy pics) are the ads that are completely run by the guys. The guy places the ad, the guy searches and replies to ads. So all he thinks about is what is attractive to him. He's looking at the female pictures, so that's all anyone else is looking at right?

[redgirlwithfrec 33]

We agree with most of you here. In our case we do have a few pics of both of us in the profile but there are many more of just her. For us it has to do with who is primarily behind the camera.

[Willing29 66]

Ditto that. I browse the profiles just as much as he does, and it drives me batty that so rarely do you get to see a picture of the guy. We actually put it in our profile that if you contact us you should attach or open a picture of BOTH members of the couple.

Wow, I can't agree more. I have posted in countless threads that his is one of my pet peeves and can't stand it. This is about both my wife and me not just me, so how are we to know if she is attracted to a couple with only photos of a female (d'uh). We are not going to meet a couple if you only give us photos of the female half unless they seem to think it doesn't matter, which is plain stupid. I wish there was a feature in SLS search (similar to 'no interest') to only show profiles that have both male and female shown. Another problem we have is when someone has like 150 photos of the lady and 1 or the guy. I am going to update our profile tonight to say don't even bother contacting us if you don't have photos of both of you, since we will just delete you mail.

[jdavisauto 73]

As for us we are a couple and a photos of us as a couple are in our profile. There is a few of just her and a very few of just me. But we are here as a couple.

[Malachista 170]

one of the lamest excuses I've heard repeatly latley is that she can't make pictures

 

Really, how hard is it in this time and age to make a halfway decent picture? You have a screen to view it, and don''t have to buy a whole roll just in the hope to get a single good one

[BiloxiCouple 694]

I got a great camera sitting right beside me right now and haven't used it in a long time. Our pictures are way too old.

[WesternSwing 504]

I do have to say there there are not even a fraction of photos of me in our collection as there are of Mrs. because I am always holding the camera and capturing images of my favorite pornstar. We need more of me, I'm not shy, but Mrs. is always busy. Still, there are pics of me on our profile.

 

Mr. WS

[ncmd_couple 597]

We had pretty much the same problem. L's pictures predominate because I'm the shutter bug, not her. She knows how to use the camera, but, well, when we are being playful, she isn't thinking about taking pics. So, last New Year we had a friend take the pics that are our public pics. I won't explain how I got the pics in our public profile here. That is a different topic!

 

S

[realcplub2 513]

My wife and I are new to swinging. We check out profiles online both for couples that contact us with interest as well as looking for others to contact. Perhaps there is no answer (and maybe a generalization or just the site we belong to) but why so many pictures of the woman and so few of the man. For me, I like the pics of the women but of course the wife would like to see the other half of the couple. And when we do request pics of the guy, many times they are the worst possible picture, even though the person may be attractive in real life (like a grainy cell phone photo). I've read and understand that the women half of the couple holds the keys on the moving forward with a couple..so what's up with that. We have had limited experience and wife is bi-friendly, but she wants to see what the guy looks like!

 

 

 

 

Ok.. simple answer.. If you find a profile of a couple that SEEMS to be right up your alley.. Write and get a conversation started.. once you do that its fairly easy to ask for simple VANNILA or G RATED pics..

 

Its the people that write and not too far in start asking for OTHER pics that tends to piss people off

[Guest winnme]

We agree with most of you here. In our case we do have a few pics of both of us in the profile but there are many more of just her. For us it has to do with who is primarily behind the camera.

 

We agree it is always the hubby behind the camera and that why we don't have many pic of him in our profiles. I know that's women would love to see pics of the man but that just how it is

[LikeMinds321 1,527]

We agree it is always the hubby behind the camera and that why we don't have many pic of him in our profiles. I know that's women would love to see pics of the man but that just how it is

 

Maybe the "no men pics" problem lies with the women...they need to grab that camera and start shooting. No more excuses! Using a camera is easy and once you get some sexy shots of your man, he'll beg you to take more.

 

LM

[MrkLin 393]

I showed Lin this thread last night, then opened up our SLS profile (when the site would allow me to do so - durned server problems...) and asked her what she thought. She agreed completely that there aren't enough pics of me in our profile.

 

So, we've talked to our neighbor (single male who knows all about us) about taking some G-Rated and R-Rated pics of both of us next weekend. I'll get them on the profile as soon as I can.

 

Thanks for the verbal kick in the butt!

[CuriousLeo's 18]

We recently added a bunch of g rated pics to our profile, but being all face pics, we didnt feel comfortable having them public. They're available when its time, for the right friends. But this thread made me realize we dont have any of me public regardless...

---Soo it makes me want to know, Do you prefer g rated, or a little racier public with cropped face pics of the men in a couple?

[Willing29 66]

We recently added a bunch of g rated pics to our profile, but being all face pics, we didn't feel comfortable having them public. They're available when its time, for the right friends. But this thread made me realize we dont have any of me public regardless...

---Soo it makes me want to know, Do you prefer g rated, or a little racier public with cropped face pics of the men in a couple?

Well speaking from the male side, it doesn't matter as long as there are some of both of you. Most of ours are 'G Rated' but our issue is when there are none of the guy at all. We often get e-mailed by couples and the go to look at their profile and lo-and-behold there is nothing of the guy. How is the Mrs to know if she is even interested in entertaining the thought of communicating back? So the way we take it (right or wrong) is that they don't care and we feel they are conveying a message that it's only up to the guy to see if he likes the gal and that's it, WTF!!! This is for both of us and not to be one sided. So from now one out it is very cleary stated in our profile that if you reach out to us and there are only photos of one of you the e-mail will be deleted and not even answered. So 'G Rated' or not there must be a photo of each of you if you are contacting us as a couple (at least one photo of each). BTW, your avitar would be fine with us, it shows me there are two people in your couple.

[Willing29 66]

OK, I just don't get it! We updated our SLS profile to read,

 

"If you take the time to contact us please be willing to share your photos up front without us having to ask. Also if you are a couple we expect to see a couple not just pictures of the female half. If you contact us as a couple with only photos of the lady or no photos your e-mail will be deleted and not even answered."

 

So why are people listed as couples still e-mailing us with photos of only the female half?

It might be one of three things. Either they are not reading the entire profile (even though it's a bit long) they just don't care or they are just plain dumb. Anyhow as the last sentence from above states "your e-mail will be deleted and not even answered."

[Tia Vampire 167]

Yeah, this grinds my gears also. There needs to be a pic of both the male half and female half when contacting a couple.

[eatnlickme 15]

Ms Eat has a policy that unless the Mr has a picture we don't move forward or let the couple know that it must be only the Ms plays....lol

 

We have found when the only pictures are of Ms it means 99.9% the guy is not Ms type because he something to hide.

 

 

[MrkLin 393]

Well, best laid plans...

 

We got our friend to take a few pictures of us this weekend while we were dressed up to go out Saturday night, and he has an uncanny knack of pressing the shutter when one or both of us has our eyes closed. I gotta get me a better photographer...

 

Our public pics show quite a lot of Lin. I wouldn't mind posting a bathing suit pic of myself in our public pics, but I think male full-frontal nudity is frowned on. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't those pics supposed to go into the private galleries? (I'm speaking of SLS here.)

 

There are a couple of pictures of me in our profile - the problem is they're outdated. I've shaved off a beard since then, but otherwise I'm unchanged.

 

We'll work on it again this week...

[Willing29 66]

Our public pics show quite a lot of Lin. I wouldn't mind posting a bathing suit pic of myself in our public pics, but I think male full-frontal nudity is frowned on. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't those pics supposed to go into the private galleries? (I'm speaking of SLS here.)

I personally have no issues if there is even only one of the male half, at least there is something. My issue is when there are NONE, and it's specifically mentioned in our profile that won't even ask twice (delete button). On SLS rule for public pics they need to be 'G/PG rated only, no explicit content is allowed in the public galleries'. All others must be stored in the private galleries.

[Pensacolapair 394]

The ratio we use is pretty much 3 pics of her, 1 pic of me, and 1 of both of us, in both our public and private galleries. We both have our own cameras and if we think a particular occasion might make a good picture, we'll hit a pose, LOL. I suspect that anyone viewing our profile is thankful that I have more 'grab-my-camera' moments than she does!

 

Our take on pictures is simple ..we expect the same that we offer. Our public profile pictures have slightly diffused, otherwise masked pics, or poses that don't show faces. However, they are full-length so that there is a clear idea as to size, shape, etc. Hopefully, those who view them can decide from them if there is enough interest to say hello. If we contact someone, our introductory email includes a good picture of both of us together showing our faces.

 

We have a 'quick reply' saved on SLS that we send back to those who contact us without any pics of hubby asking if we are "interested" - "Your wife is very sexy, but my wife wants to know if she will be as lucky"

[exploringRM 305]

Perhaps related to this thread, is hot wife, husband not. I (the guy half) do the online search aspects, wife doesn't like the computer as much. There are so many profiles where I like what the couple wrote, like the womans picture, but no hubby pics. Or alternatively people have contacted us with that type of profile. So an exchange may have been started, but then the wife sees the husband's pic and says it's not going to happen. We are not looking for perfection, but ya gotta like what you see. But I just would like my wife to be with a guy she considers hot, really hot. I realize we are also at an age (late 40s) where that may not be as easy to find.

 

We are new at this; still learning. So I think I'm going to update our profiles with even stronger language saying if you don't contact us with an up to date to date g rated face picture of the both of you, we will not respond. (now I feel better after ranting a little!)

[joelana 26]

We have also been discussing this issue , our profile pix,

should it be both of us or just Lana or simply a sexy pix

of me (joe).....

Guess we will be doing some shuffling from time to time.

[twoforone100 45]

We try to have enough pic's of both of us... it is not even but we are close to even on aff and on sls we have 145 pic's she is in most but he is in a lot of them

[erotic_wishes 15]

My husband and I have this problem-we don't have any pictures of him for the site-it's because HE is always the one taking the pictures!

 

I need to take some of him....so...it's all my fault I guess;)

[2plus2fun 143]

Maybe the "no men pics" problem lies with the women...they need to grab that camera and start shooting. No more excuses! Using a camera is easy and once you get some sexy shots of your man, he'll beg you to take more.

 

LM

 

I run another site with the initials CN. (I don't know if there is a rule about posting urls to other swinger sites). I see lots of profiles with pics of men... but our biggest problem was that most men would post closeup pics of their cocks in their public profile. We started getting alot of complaints about that so we made a rule that noone can do that. So I think it would definitely be a help if the ladies could take some attractive pictures of their men.

 

That said... I need to get Sharon to get busy on that LOL. I do have pictures of myself on our profiles... but they are in our private galleries because they are pics of my face.

[MrkLin 393]

Just about every camera made today has some kind of timer that you can set, then get into the picture before the shutter snaps. That kind of makes the "I'm always the one behind the camera," argument void. Time for me to get out the camera's user manual and learn how to use it...

 

Face it guys - it's our fault, not hers - again...

[Pensacolapair 394]

Just about every camera made today has some kind of timer that you can set, then get into the picture before the shutter snaps. That kind of makes the "I'm always the one behind the camera," argument void. Time for me to get out the camera's user manual and learn how to use it...

 

Face it guys - it's our fault, not hers - again...

 

Damn! Foiled by technology again!!!!

[NCfuncouple98 367]

Damn! Foiled by technology again!!!!

 

Or it's time to take the camera away from him for a little while. Most of our pictures are of me. Women's bodies can be put in many more sexy poses than men's. But to make sure we had some, I took 2 public and 1 private of him.

 

It's funny how many threads there are on this board about everyone requiring pics of a couple, both of them, yet how many don't follow it themselves?

 

To each their own - but since we prefer to see pics of both, we figured it was only fair to show pics of both. Face pics are always private on our profiles.