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Looking through the SLS site over the last few weeks, I see a number of couples that are not paid members, yet they have been on SLS for years. Then I see those that are paid, and have been on there years, you would think that it would be cheaper to buy the life membership.

 

I’m curious, why do you stay “free” with the limited functionality that gives you on the site, or why would you be a “paid” member after years of being there?

 

The reason that I ask this question is that I shy away from free members. Aren’t they serious enough to pay for the site, but I question that seeing those that have been there for years. I don’t know, I’m looking for some insight.

 

Are the paid members that have been there for years just paying now and again and then lapsing back to free status for a while, then paying again?

 

My “fake-o-meter” is always twitching, because lord knows they are out there! But it would be a shame to overlook a couple that are potential friends.

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I know with us, we also tend to shy away from free members; esp. so if there are no pics. I know that the friends we know that are free members use it more as a tool to keep up on what is going on in the area such as parties, meet and greets, etc. They usually have their friend's IM addresses and so do not need the email capabilities that sls provides to paid members. But yes, most fakers on there are free members; you aren't going to pay hard earned money usually to yank people's chains.

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We are currently free members on SLS. I pay on occasion, when it seems like a good time to do it. We don't get a lot of interest on SLS (we always had a lot of interest on Swappernet by comparison), and we don't have a lot of time for swinging anyway, so I'm not inclined to pay out $150, when $10 once or twice year suits my purposes. I am far better off using that money elsewhere (such as a club or meeting up with a current friend(s) when we have some down time). I don't really care if some people write us off as "fakes" because we don't choose to buy a membership except occasionally. Their choice and potentially their loss. My/our seriousness has nothing to do with whether I pay or not.

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I’m curious, why do you stay “free” with the limited functionality that gives you on the site, or why would you be a “paid” member after years of being there?

 

The reason that I ask this question is that I shy away from free members. Aren’t they serious enough to pay for the site, but I question that seeing those that have been there for years. I don’t know, I’m looking for some insight.

 

Are the paid members that have been there for years just paying now and again and then lapsing back to free status for a while, then paying again?

 

We pay every now and then for the 3 month membership. Right now we are free members, our paid membership lapsed in August I think.

 

Because of work and school schedules we don't use the site that much. We have a few friends that have house parties and when we are able to go out...we shoot them a message asking if they are having anyone over that weekend. For us right now, I don't want to pay for a membership for something we aren't using/utilizing.

 

We have had some luck meeting nice people on SLS, and quite a few of those were free members. When we first placed our ad, we did not pay for a membership until after we had our ad up about a month. Why? Because I'm a dork that placed the profile and then didn't log in for about a month....:lol: We just got busy with the holiday stuff and that was a low priority. When I did log in again to a ton of messages, it took me the better part of a week to reply to everyone.

 

We didn't see any sense in paying up front for something that we were not sure we were not going to get any response from. And we were just getting started, didn't see any sense in paying for a lifetime or even a 3 month membership if we weren't going to keep playing. It was more of a 'testing the waters' kind of thing to start with. We do have a few pics on our profile, so at least we aren't those free members with no pics or, my personal favorite, only 1 pic posted but they've kept it private. ;) lol

 

I'll agree that some of the free members we've met have been a bit flakey, but that doesn't mean that paid members can't fall into that category too.

 

Maria :kissface:

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When they contact us, we do look to see if a paid member or not, but being a free member isn't the kiss of death, it just means our antenna are twitching a little more trying to confirm if faker or just someone who doesn't want to spend their money on becoming a paid member for their own reasons. We have met with very real couples who are free member with no certs.

 

If we are considering making the contact, free membership lowers the overall score. Not a big part, but a little. However, it can overcome by an extra good profile, etc. to end up on the Potential Contact list.

 

Certs and membership start date are the same way. We take note of them but they are just a small part of the whole picture.

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We are amongst the "free" sls members. We are not looking to be looking forever! Just want to find that special couple, who feel the same about all this as we do, then say goodbye to these sites. We already have enough notches on the bed post, now are just looking to find a couple interested in wearing out the mattress and putting in some exciting and rewarding sweaty time together.

 

Realizing that sls and aff are sites that allow the public to view photos, we reserve those for folks actually interested in what we have to offer in our profile.

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The reason that I ask this question is that I shy away from free members. Aren’t they serious enough to pay for the site, but I question that seeing those that have been there for years. I don’t know, I’m looking for some insight.

 

My “fake-o-meter” is always twitching, because lord knows they are out there! But it would be a shame to overlook a couple that are potential friends.

 

I am a free member on sls, only because I just put a profile up for us and am checking the site out to see if I like it or not, we haven't gotten our feet wet yet in the lifestyle, but we don't belong in the "fake" category either.

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We are amongst the "free" sls members. We are not looking to be looking forever! Just want to find that special couple, who feel the same about all this as we do, then say goodbye to these sites. We already have enough notches on the bed post, now are just looking to find a couple interested in wearing out the mattress and putting in some exciting and rewarding sweaty time together.

 

Realizing that sls and aff are sites that allow the public to view photos, we reserve those for folks actually interested in what we have to offer in our profile.

 

Well, I agree.......a good friend of mine is a free member on sls. However! Had he NOT had a pic on his profile as he does now I would never have emailed him in the first place. I'll be honest. No pics equal a kiss of no email pretty much with us. But yeah, we have friends who are free members on sls.

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We're free members of SLS but paid members of AFF. We require a pic or the email is deleted. That pic can either be on their profile or attached to the email. No pic is a kiss of death, free members are not, unless they do not supply a pic. :-)

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Another free SLS account here. It's a tool for a particular purpose and the limitations of a free account don't get in our way at all. We have plenty of contacts - a paid account would offer no measurable benefit.

 

I have additional reasons for keeping the account free, but they're kind of nit-picky.

 

The bottom line is that everything is copasetic..............

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A free membership isn't necessarily the kiss of death with us, either. We also consider the profile as a whole--how is it written, do the people seem "real" to us. Lack of pictures makes us more wary than membership status, as we only have the three-month membership ourselves. When we signed up, Mr. Sweet wasn't sure whether this was something we REALLY wanted to do or not.

 

=)

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For a while we had posted on our SLS profile "Why do some paid members close their profile to free members? Are they afraid of people that are good with money?". It's a tongue in cheek statement, but I do understand that people are looking for others that are just surfing for fun with no intention of meeting. I haven't personally looked, but is there such a thing on SLS as a "Members since (insert date here)"? I think that would let people know that if a membership had gone to free status, that it may be a temporary thing.

 

We pay for the 3 month membership at times, but at 149 dollars for a lifetime membership we usually can find better uses for that kind of cash.

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We're free members right now. We've paid before, but we've let it lapse. We just use SLS to talk to our friends, and so that we can tell people that we meet our handle so that we can get in touch with them after the parties we met them at. We have very little interest in meeting people online, so it's not that important for us to shell out the money for a membership. I'm sure we're not the only ones that have let it lapse.

 

Pepper

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I really don't care if your a free member or not, or if you have certs or not. I personally don't care for the certs. Dog and I refuse certs based on, I don't want anyone to know who I play with, you know that who discretion thing.

 

I do how ever want a pic, preferably male and female, as well as a decent profile.

 

Profiles are in essence your resume, why not do it up right.

 

p.s. Dog wanted the lifetime membership, he's a little more ambitious then I am.

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I agree on free vs. paid as long as you have pics available...now what DOES bother me is this though: they email you and so you have your pics...only they cannot see them. So they email you and say "we are free members and can't see your pics...can you email them to us?" Nope. We do not do this. I am not sending my pics via email to anyone, pay the $15 if you want to see them lol.

 

Certs: We do NOT look at certs in regards to how good or bad you are. However, certs do tell us that you are active in the swinging community and that you do get out there to meet people. If you have been on sls since 2005 with no certs I honestly am wondering why...and perhaps will think you are either a faker or really not out here to hook up.

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Shelly....We are currently free members...and the only pics we are not able to view on SLS are anything nude or the 'additional' pics (apparently there are bandwidth restrictions on free members).

 

However, we do have plenty of face pics up where others can see them and hopefully anyone we message will have the same. One of my personal peeves is the member (free or paid) that only has 1 pic on their profile...and it's private. Makes me go: :wtf: Those are also the profiles that might have 4 sentences for the whole thing....sorry, we'll keep moving on to the next one.

 

Maria :kissface:

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ShellyM said:
If you have been on sls since 2005 with no certs I honestly am wondering why...and perhaps will think you are either a faker or really not out here to hook up.

 

Shelly, I know this topic has been covered a few times before (here, here, and here).

 

We do not do certifications in either direction because it is nobody's business who we meet or have sex with. There are many of us on this board who have a similar, if not identical stance, looking back at the past threads.

 

I've been on SLS for probably 2 years, with no certs, for the aforementioned reasons. We would like to maintain our privacy in an activity that is not accepted in mainstream society. We are reasonably discrete about our activities, and we do not do this for notching, bragging rights or advertising, and certifications fall perilously close to that for us. YMMV.

 

Interestingly, ShellyM, the second link is a thread you started a year ago about certifications. Have you changed your stance since then regarding your partners? In relevant part:

Quote
Do ya'll verify all couples you meet and play with? We went to the camp out in Sep. and met some great friends, and certified them all, and vice versa. However, when it comes with our play partners, whom we also met on sls, I am hesitant to verify them. I have no idea why really, I just feel that with them it is a very private matter (and perhaps I'm greedy and don't want to share jk"

 

To each their own if they want to pass us over, but certifications sure aren't an indication of activity in the swingers community for many of us.

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If they're like us, it took awhile to decide just which site we wanted to join for a "lifetime".

 

Mrs. D

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rpu3 said:
Shelly, I know this topic has been covered a few times before (here, here, and here).

 

We do not do certifications in either direction because it is nobody's business who we meet or have sex with. There are many of us on this board who have a similar, if not identical stance, looking back at the past threads.

 

I've been on SLS for probably 2 years, with no certs, for the aforementioned reasons. We would like to maintain our privacy in an activity that is not accepted in mainstream society. We are reasonably discrete about our activities, and we do not do this for notching, bragging rights or advertising, and certifications fall perilously close to that for us. YMMV.

 

Interestingly, ShellyM, the second link is a thread you started a year ago about certifications. Have you changed your stance since then regarding your partners? In relevant part:

 

To each their own if they want to pass us over, but certifications sure aren't an indication of activity in the swingers community for many of us.

 

Kinda our thoughts exactly. We have been on since 2005, we have no certs, and right now, we're free. Right now, we are so busy trying to meet folks has been a real challenge ... Mr. Fun has been working crazy hours and taking classes, and hasn't been able to chat with anyone. We have met two couples in the past couple of months, but no lust connection.

 

We all have our criteria, and what we deem worth pursuing. Frankly, if a couple has too many certs, they're the red flag for us. To us, they look reckless and irresponsible.

 

So, if folks pass us by (and I know they do), that's the way it goes. This is a hobby for us more than a lifestyle, and for those who really live the lifestyle, we'd be frustrating folks to get to know probably anyway.

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I want to thank everyone for their replies. As with most things in the lifestyle, there are many dynamics at play, no pun intended.

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Our SLS membership lapses once in awhile. We no longer pay for it because it wasn't getting us the responses Swingular and Swappernet are in our area (which we are paid members of). I have an SLS affiliate link on our Yahoo 360 page and we get enough hits from it that occasionally we get three or more months free on SLS, though. Plus, we've been in the lifestyle in our area long enough now that we know plenty of people and attend plenty of parties where we meet more people face-to-face.

 

Mr. WS

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On certifications: When my Dh and I put our profile together, our friends offered to certify us. They gave us the impression that it would help people to know we're real. Shortly after, another couple followed suit. And while both couples said some really nice stuff (that we'd never say about ourselves), I began to question whether I wanted everyone reading our profile to know who we have (or might have) played with.

 

Then I/we started posting here, and I've begun to see that it's not really necessary to be certified, and that my desire to avoid "kissin' & tellin" is just fine. Just goes to show there's nothing wrong with following your instincts.

 

?

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I notice how quick some are to point the faker finger at people.

 

I have played a few times with some great people but I won't be certified, if someone wants to shrug me off because they think I am a fake, fine, but I am not a fake, just ask.......Oh wait who I play with is MY business not anyone else's.

 

As for paid memberships, There are plenty of good reasons not to pay, the cost vs return. Now that we have been on SLS for a year now, if we had to do it again, not sure I would have agreed to pay the price. Just not worth it in my opinion.

 

It seems those who have their faker finger pointed at so many people have missed out on some pretty great couples. There's a handful just here in this thread alone.

 

Effort put into your profile and a decent pic is a must with me, but all the bells and whistles....meh, don't really care for them.

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We are taking a break from playing with others right now. To many other things going on that it is hard to find time to play with each other! So, we have ours "Invisible" right now. That being said: We are not paid, and od not have pictures. We can travel to a lot of parties and do a lot of things with our family for the money that it would take to be paid members. I am known to be frugal (to a lot of people that would be a cheap ass). As far as pictures go: As has been stated: There are a lot of fakers that sign up just to see who they now and then talk about them. We do not trade pictures until after an email and chat or two.

 

Even in the lifestyle you have to cover your ass some times!

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We are in SLS sometime paid and sometime free not a big deal but its a pain if you want to see pics as of the certs that something else. Most of the couples we have meet them at the clubs or thru friends and most of them are not in SLS so we dont have certs but we play so we dont base our selection on them. The couples that are not real you find out real fast ask for a meet and you find out. We have rule nr 1 meet at a club that is so no one can mess up our night. If they are real they show up if not we still have a good time.(This does not mean that a couples that don't go to clubs are fake)

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We are lifetime members on SLS, but we were free members for a couple of years before we paid. We don't really discriminate against free members. Our only hard and fast rule regarding meeting people from the ad sites is we won't meet with anyone, free or paid, if they don't have pictures in their profile. While we may occasionally meet people outside of the clubs, if they don't have any certs the only way we will meet with them is at a club. Because, while I understand folks that don't like certifications position, it really is the only way to know if someone is real or not before meeting them. And our experience has been that we have never had someone with certs turn out to be a fake or stand us up. On the other hand, we have had quite a few without certs turn out to be flakes. So if someone contacts us that has no certs we just tell them which club we will be at that weekend and they can meet us there if they like. 80% of them never show though, which is why we will never make a special trip or meet people without certs anywhere we weren't planning on going anyway. We have not found more free members to be flakes than paid members though.

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rpu3 said:

Shelly, I know this topic has been covered a few times before (here, here, and here).

...

Interestingly, ShellyM, the second link is a thread you started a year ago about certifications. Have you changed your stance since then regarding your partners? In relevant part:

 

To each their own if they want to pass us over, but certifications sure aren't an indication of activity in the swingers community for many of us.

 

No Ma'm I have not. The vast majority or our certs are people we met and partied with, not play partners. Interestingly my ass. I said on here that we do NOT look at people's certs as an indication of sex. Did I not say that? We DO look at them in regards to whether or not they go out. And I'll say it straight. If I look at a profile that has been active since 05, no certs, no pics you are darned right I am not emailing. That's how we do it, I don't have time for attempting to contact everyone straight from what their profile says. Yes, I look at certs. Yes, I have checked certs on single males. Yes Ma'm I have, and I did on one couple as well. I don't apologize for it. Perhaps in our area there are a few more fakers, lonely husbands than I prefer. I don't have time for bullshit. So no we have NOT changed our stance in answer to your observation. And we are friends with free members, but in truth we have met those in meet and greets and house parties usually; esp. if there are no pics. Does that answer your question?

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SLS - or any ad site for that matter - has never really worked for us except to keep track of friends we've already made. So whether a profile is free or paid, if that is the best way to send an email - then that is why we have it. We've already met the people - so the validity of their profile is predetermined.

 

Of course, we've met people off of SLS, but it has never worked out in the long run. Pictures, certifications, payment status, clever profiles are hardly a measure for chemistry, IMO.

 

If that is your main way of connecting with people, you may have to develop a sense of who is real and who is not, but I can think of a number of free members who we have known and enjoyed knowing. Just be wise in how you get to know them (perhaps a phone call very quickly for starters, instead of endless email with a ton of pictures and hours of cyber-sex on Yahoo).

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I agree Spoo. Unfortunately a lot of people think it is cute to play with people's time lol. Yes I agree. House parties and meet and greets are outstanding ways to meet cool people.

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Too many other things going on that it is hard to find time to play with each other! So, we have ours "Invisible" right now.

 

Mrs.Fun pretty much takes care of our acct. On sls. And we too have just recently gone invisible. We are just too busy at the time to make new friends online. We are paid members now and may become lifetime next month when our yearly membership expires, that will be determined by our disposable cash at that time.Its fun, its a hobby, but its not something that will be put ahead of our regular life. We like the no copy feature that's sls provides and its convenience of sharing pics with those that are paid members. However we realize that we were free members for a couple years ourselves. We don't judge anyone by their paid status. We don't mind sharing a pic on yahoo chat because we only share a (g) rated pic anyhow. If that is the avenue they want to go, and if we really like their profile.

We feel that since we are members of clubs and we are in a few groups. We have all the playmates we can devote our available time to for now. The couples we know understand how we feel, but we don't want to be rejecting any new couples that wouldn't understand, because they are new.

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SLS gives so much functionality away for free that it is rather easy to STAY a free member there without any hassles. If you don't get on an email people a lot or spend hours scouring profiles, or really want in their forums you probably won't even know you are missing anything by NOT paying... well except for the naughty pics of others (and some of us don't care if we see those either). I don't shy away from free members, but I do shy away from anyone who doesn't have any pictures.

 

As far as those who choose not to buy a lifetime membershp after being there for months or years... I can explain that as well, after years of running membership based sites... there are several types of paid members:

 

1. Those who sign up for one month (or 6) and then let it lapse and don't come back. These folks are typically looking for the cheapest option, either because they can't afford to pay month after month or because they can't afford to pay out a couple hundred bucks all at once.

2. Those who sign up for recurring month to month membership and forget to cancel, until about 3 months or so after they meant to.

3. Those who just bite the bullet and figure it's cheaper to do the lifetime membership. These are typically people who see the most value in the site they are joining. They know that even if they only stick around for a year they are getting the best DEAL.

 

These same rules apply to any type of shopping when you think about it. Some people want value and some want cheap, and some don't really care as long as they are getting something.

 

On the other end of the spectrum the only reason websites (or any other service for that matter) OFFER lifetime memberships is because they know that more than 50% of those who buy a lifetime membership won't use it for more than 6 months, so they are still making money off of it. Based on the numbers I've seen I know that people tend to stick around SLS a lot longer than they do most sites, but even with that I know that there are plenty of people paying for memberships they aren't using (whether they paid upfront or as they go).

 

I'd pay more attention to when a user was last online than to whether or not they paid to be there. After all, everyone is on here for free does that make them any less serious?

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If you have been on sls since 2005 with no certs I honestly am wondering why...and perhaps will think you are either a faker or really not out here to hook up.

 

This is a whole different topic (in fact I'm sure there are at least 3 already in existance on this very issue). Personally, I don't care for certifications. Everyone does not need to know who else I've played with. We have been given certs on SLS and have chosen to not accept them (and I know that others do the same), simply because it's no one else's business who we've played with.:nono:

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... Interestingly my ass.

 

You know, it's a forum with many individuals with many different individual interests, mindsets and opinions. If the fact that you yourself had started a thread about certs a year ago was interesting to me, then that's my opinion, your ass and commentary notwithstanding.

 

I said on here that we do NOT look at people's certs as an indication of sex. Did I not say that?

 

My question was not "do you use certs as an indication of sex". My question was "Have you changed your stance since then regarding your partners?" since that original posting. Julie just posted that this is really another thread, so maybe I'll start one since I don't quite get reliance on certs if you don't cert those you play. Hence, my question if you had changed your stance, because people can change and adapt. But it's going to have to go to a different thread.

 

My main thing was based on this:

Certs: We do NOT look at certs in regards to how good or bad you are. However, certs do tell us that you are active in the swinging community and that you do get out there to meet people. If you have been on sls since 2005 with no certs I honestly am wondering why...and perhaps will think you are either a faker or really not out here to hook up.

 

You said "I honestly am wondering why..." with regard those with no certs. I honestly told you why I do not give or accept certs. The "why" some of us don't have certs even after years on SLS has been explained above, and had been discussed more than a few times, including a thorough and honest discussion on the cert thread you yourself started a year ago.

 

Hopefully, the next time you ask yourself "why" when you look at a profile that is that are not certified, or free (for those who ask why its not a paid membership), or both, people will recall this thread, and the other threads, and be able consider an alternative explanation besides "fake".

 

...Does that answer your question?

 

I'm assuming the answer was no, based on your first sentence, "No Ma'm I have not." If I want further clarification, the questions will go elsewhere.

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There are lots of profiles where "discretion" is expressed as a must, then you see "certs" and "Friends" which seems to contradict the discretion request. Of course, not being a party-couple, we acknowledge we do have a different perspective on this. Popularity is certainly NOT a requirement for us. The electricity between four people, sexually charged is enough for us. Quality vs Quantity.

 

Also we should say we do not have ANY problem with those seeking to be the most popular, with the most certs and friends on their profiles. Our mutual attraction would be easy to determine. Some folks like to party, others do not. That is what makes this so much fun...

 

Just our perspective on certs and friends on profiles.

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We're members since 2005. We took a few years off for family reasons. I considered starting a new profile since we had been inactive for so long, but in the end, decided to use the one we had. I think this is the 1st time we became paid members.

 

We don't accept certs, as Julie said, it's no one's business. On the other hand, I will look at certs, not to exclude a couple, but just nosy to see who's certifying them. It may lead to someone else we're interested in :lol:

 

If any of this excludes us from someone's contact list - We want lose any sleep over it. On the other hand, if they do contact us, we might just lose a whole night's sleep. :D

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