Birth Control In The Lifestyle

[DeesireCpl]

Hi there Readers:
We met this couple on the weekend and they seemed quite happy , they said they had 2 kids 14 & 16 and they were both in their mid 40's. Seemed normal to us. Towards the end of the night the woman was appearing to show signs of drunkeness and she began to tell me a devastating story of their lives.
The couple we will call Ted and Alice ..... they had an ad for a single bi sexual woman and low and behold they found just that. This girl was in her early 30's single no kids , no man. Well they ended playing with her and found they just adored her. They became exclusive with her and really enjoyed their realtionship.
Well 1 night of passion led to the condom breaking and the single girl to become pregnant with Ted's child. They were under the impression that the girl was on the pill and taking precautions for pregnancy. The single woman came with news absolutely delighted she was going to have a baby. Well the couple didn't feel that way at all . The couple were devastated at the news and felt betrayed by the single woman. They wanted her to abort the pregnancy because it was not part of the relationship they agreed on. The woman refused and is still pregnant to this day. Ok wow very deep subject but in reality could happen very easily to anyone. Unless there is precautions taken to avoid that happening.
What do you think the couple should have done or should they do ?
Honesty has to be first ...do you think the female was honest with the couple?

Please can I have everyone's opinions on this situation it is really bugging me ....they seemed so hurt by it all ...rightly so...just feel bad for them.

Thanks
Deesire & Mr Deesire

[JustAskJulie]

Condoms!

It makes me wonder since they say they were "under the impression" if they ever even asked her about birth control and really had a valid conversation on the topic. Or, if they just assumed.

It could well be that they brought up the idea of using condoms and the female replied with "it's taken care of" or "It's ok" and they took that to mean that she was on the pill and took the conversation no further.

Of course, pregnancies can happen even on the pill or with a condom. There is no fool-proof way... it's even been known to happen despite surgical alternatives.

When it comes down to it tho, everyone was responsible and it's her child as much as it is his, so she does have a right to keep it despite their wishes.

[Elusive BiFem]

There's not much of anything that can be added to Julie's comments. If indeed, she did actually tell them she was on the pill, they were entitled to believe there was some protection against pregnancy, and condom use would add to that protection, but nothing is fail-safe. This same thing could happen to anyone...married or single.

But the bottom line is it is her pregancy and she has the right to refuse to abort.

Curiosity here...is she asking for financial assistance in terms of the expenses of pregnancy, future child support, etc.? If so, paternity testing would be in order.

- EBF

[alabamafuntonig]

unless the girl said she was on the pill and lied there is no disshonesty ! if you are involved with a woman that is not on the pill..or not fixed than condoms is your alterntive! but once again ...seeds will grow when they are watered! As far as the couple feeling hurt ! hum...maybe the gentleman should have gotten snipped! I dont feel bad for them ,becouse you are the master of your own faith and no one put a gun to his head and said "make love to me" it was a voulentary act with a possibility of getting pregnant unless he pulled out!

I also may add that i have had condoms break on me before ,its very noticable, very seldom do pin holes or tiny tears happen that are not detected! besides that if you use condoms you should also practice the rythom method ,IE: pulling out before the ejaculation process,this will insure no little swimmers make the upstream battle. Even if the condom tore off!

last point! im not prolife persay! for the mear fact that i believe ,rape,incest and drunken sex conceptions could be taken care of if both parties agree!( except for rape and incest that is,they require only the pregnant ones veiw) . but if she wants to give birth its her right! i assume she will be responsible enough and get child support from this couple! and i hope this couple will practice "smart sex " from now on

[2SHARE]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
.....possibility of getting pregnant unless he pulled out!

.......practice the rythom method ,IE: pulling out before the ejaculation process,this will insure no little swimmers make the upstream battle. Even if the condom tore off!

Pulling out....with or without a condom..... IS NOT a sufficient form of birth control!!!

The rhythm method is when someone times the dates of the woman's period to calculate when she is fertile NOT a form of birth control.

Not bashing......just hate to see someone take this as truth.


As for the situation in question.........

I agree with Julie too. It is an unfortunate happening but ultimatly the single woman's choice to make. We all have to take responsibility for our actions, and the above situation is proof it's not always fun and games!


Deb

[alabamafuntonig]

Pulling out....with or without a condom..... IS NOT a sufficient form of birth control!!!

well read on then ! i said with use of a condom! and i belive if no sperm hits the egg then you wont get pregnant...unless i missed something in biology but explain how if you dont ejaculate in the vagina and no sperm enters the womb how you become pregnant....also your drfenition of the rythem method is correct but pulling out also insures the rythem method will work!

i belive my quote would be

besides that if you use condoms you should also practice the rythom method ,IE: pulling out before the ejaculation process,this will insure no little swimmers make the upstream battle. Even if the condom tore off!

and frankly its the only method i use with my wife! works fine!
making babies is not rocket science! and someone could take my statement as truth... if ya dont cum in the oven nothing will bake! and if you give me the "what about precum statement" ill answear that too ...were a condom...pull out...no babies....

[alabamafuntonig]

Main Entry: rhythm method
Function: noun
Date: 1940
: a method of birth control involving continence during the period in which ovulation is most likely to occur
Main Entry: con•ti•nence
Pronunciation: 'kän-t&n-&n(t)s
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : SELF-RESTRAINT; especially : a refraining from sexual intercourse
2 : the ability to retain a bodily discharge voluntarily

[alabamafuntonig]

link 1 - failure rates

link 2- some reading for you

link 3 -a good guide to understand this whole thing

good luck...read on ...

[2SHARE]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
well read on then ..........

And I say.....

I'm very happy to hear that the rhythm method and pull out methods have worked well for you and your wife in preventing pregnancy. However, while I agree it is NOT rocket science, it's medical science. Medical studies have proved repeatedly that pulling out and rhythm methods are are not to be assumed effective means of contraception. (You may want to have a sperm count done!! )

again....i was NOT bashing you...only giving my opinion.

Deb

[alabamafuntonig]

keep reading you need to learn a little more about getting pregnant...19% failure rate for withdrawl(pulling out ,rythem method) 12% for condoms...and the list goes on..i have control and thats what it takes ...my partner and i have communication skills so she knows when i need to with draw! as far as sperm count done! no need im fertile so is she! althoogh i would recomend this method only to married folk and not a safe method in swing lifestyle! but science is science!

1 egg +1-1,000,000 sperm +9 months= baby
1 egg + 0 sperm + 9 months= no baby

correct me if im wrong!
unless all along it really was in the water!

[2SHARE]

Originally posted by alabamafuntonig
19% failure rate for withdrawl(pulling out ,rythem method) 12% for condoms...and the list goes on..

Look, I'm genuinly happy that your methods work so well for you and your wife. All I'm saying is that a risky practice like that ...that you admit is only 80% effective is NOT great advice to give out to the general population....

By means of compairison....

I used no means of birth control between the ages of 16-21 and was VERY sexually active. Still I never became pregnant until I was 22 and married. But wouldn't it be irrisponsible of me to portray that as an effective means of birth control?

Deb

[DeesireCpl]

Now I am not sure about their conversations how in depth they were , but my heart goes out to all 3 of them , there is no way that could be easy no matter what was discussed like I say it really bothered me and kind of made me realize that my life isn't so complicated after all I feel for the couple but I also feel for the girl. Yes I agree it is her decision no matter what !! The couple seemed like they had some unfinished business with her regarding their relationship or lack of one. I just hope it works out for them all the 3 adults I am sure they will be fine but I wish the best for the most innocent one of all the unborn child.

[angihay]

Ok I think honesty is the best policy here. i did however notice that u said they were under the impression she was using birth control, I think they should have asked her that not just counted on it. I feel that all these things should be discussed prior to the relationship. If there is somthing you disagree on either work it out or move on. I do however feel it is the woman's choice to have the baby though the child is half hers. Feel sorry for the cpl hopefully the next time they will ask questions first.

[DeesireCpl]

Yes of course honesty is the key, listening and asking questions is a must but unless you see that woman take that birth control pill you as a couple have to take her for her word that she is on birth control. Remember they did say they used a condom but it broke. Their relationship was over a period of 2 months makes sense that they would have trusted her. What an aweful situation to be in.

[austxmark]

Man that sucks. I agree with most here about whether or she told them she was on the pill or the impression was simply made. It's of no regard tho. I mean, they used a condom and it broke. That means that birth control was used and it failed. All forms can fail and its a risk we all take when we swing. I do not think the girl was dishonest, but I do think a couple that has a long term relationship with a women should address this possibility before hand.

As for withdrawal being recommended as a reliable means of birth control..if you use a condom it is, if not the odds are not good. I agree with Deb, its not a good idea to suggest withdrawal is effective for birth control. The gentlemans post did say withdrawal with a condom and as long as that point is clear I agree with his post, if he meant without a condom then he's wrong.

One last thing, PLEASE use spell check. I mean, perfection is not required but damn.