Bareback Rule of Thumb

[bill&sabrina]

This post is to answer a comment posted by Alura, but it is also to clear up some confusion my previous post may contain. I am not trying to convince anyone to soley trust there life to condoms. Common sense and good judgement must be exercised before engaging in sex. Alura has what looks to be an excellant plan, and I applaud them. I have a HUGE problem with the so called "facts" that PaulKing has presented. I felt I needed to remind everyone of facts we were taught in grade school, and how they can help us make good sense choices.

Bill

[travelman]

I follow the belief of no glove no love. I've only done bareback with girlfriends in the past.

I think i know the answer to my question but i'll ask anyway.

WHAT ABOUT ORAL? Should you use protection...I've never used protection to give oral for my female partner.

I'm 50/50 on wearing the glove to receive.

P.S. Several years ago my girlfriend at that time introduced me into yearly STD testing. It's a great idea if your out there living the free lifestyle. Take care all...TM

[thump29]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
Hi, Thump. I sincerely don't want to give rise to any type of argument or debate here, but I have a really serious question in response to your comments (and those of others). Aside from the pregnancy issue, which I certainly understand...how do you rationalize not using a condom with someone you "totally trust" and have "known for a while?"

I've wondered for myself - how and when do you make that determination? And how well do you really know anyone? Like the kolonel said, is it worth the anxiety? I don't know - in this day and age it may be the eternal question?

Thanks! - EBF

Well I would be happy to answer your question Elusive. First of all we do not swing with alot of people. We started with one couple who we grew up with and we have known them for 15 years so we all we very comfortable with not using a condom with them. We like to get to know the people really well before that happens tho. Everybody else we swing with we insist on using a condom and there has only been one other person with which we didnt use a condom. I think if u know the people like we knew the one couple that there is nothing wrong with not using a condom. Like I said if it is somebody we dont know then we always use one. I hope this answers your question and it is not something obviously that everybody would do of course but after knowing somebody 15 years we so no problem in it.

[Elusive BiFem]

At first, when you didn't answer, I was afraid I may have offended you with the question. I'm glad I didn't.

15 years is a long time to know someone for any reason now-a-days. It must be nice having friends - and playmates - with that much "history" between you. I've read in other post that ya'll are quite young (OK, OK...everything is relative ) so ya'll have almost grown up together.

Deciding to insist on the use of condoms or not is a tough decision for many, I'm sure. For me, much of my decision making on this subject and others has to do with the amount of anxiety the choice will cause down the road. In other words, will the slight inconvenience of condom usage be worth the anxiety I may feel for weeks or months to come? I just absolutely hate that feeling of anxiety - hate it!! Such an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach that lingers for days/weeks. In all honesty, I don't know that condoms really are that much protection, but until something better comes along, my choice would be to stick with them.

Thanks again. -EBF

[Alura]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
I just absolutely hate that feeling of anxiety - hate it!! Such an awful feeling in the pit of your stomach that lingers for days/weeks. In all honesty, I don't know that condoms really are that much protection, but until something better comes along, my choice would be to stick with them.

Thanks again. -EBF

If the use of condoms relieve that feeling of anxiety, EBF, you should continue to use them. I doubt if anything better will come along in the near future. I don't even know what might be better if not a cure for AIDS.

Mr. Alura

[Tom & Bonnie]

According to the CDC, Swingers are not even classified as risk group for STD's.

That being said a lot of people have mixed opinons on safe sex and STD's.

Will you get one without unprotected sex? Perhaps

Will it kill you? Not likely

From what we've learned it seems that the biggest health risk is from a strain of Hepatitis for which you can be inoculated against. Herpes? Research is showing now that genitals herpes can be the same as the cold sore you get on your lip... So, everyone is a potential risk there. And, wearing a condom will not prevent it's spread.

The biggest danger nowadays, as was pointed out in an earlier post, is Latex Toxicity. That's serious and fatal to some!

I have talked to quite a few medical professionals who absolutely will not use a condom because of it. However, i have talked to a few other medical professionals who insist on them. What does it mean? Beats the hell out of me but as long as we've been in the lifestyle (15 + years) we've never run across anyone who has gotten anything serious.

What should you do? Inform yourself... Read everything you can find on the subject and form your own opinion. Don't take the advice of anyone other than your own conscience and go with it. remember, it's better to be informed than not!

Realize this, the Only Safe Sex is No Sex! And without any sex Life is dull so you might as well take a gun and shoot yourself!

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by Alura
If the use of condoms relieve that feeling of anxiety, EBF, you should continue to use them. I doubt if anything better will come along in the near future. I don't even know what might be better if not a cure for AIDS.

Mr. Alura

Exactly, Mr. Alura. Isn't that what it's really about. Your own feelings about things? Something as simple as driving down the interstate 90-to-nothing...It's great fun, and I'm really a much safer driver in many respects if only because I am far more focused than when tooling along at 45 MPH, but the anxiety of knowing there may be the cop up ahead is what slows me down. I don't want to deal with that or the repercussions.

Thinking about it a bunch, I believe that is what I've tried to say in several posts on the subject of condoms. Give me honest facts and let me make my own decisions based on my comfort level. Don't try to sway me to your way of thinking - just give me the legitimate facts. After all, you (not you Mr Alura - people in general) aren't the one that will be lying there wondering and worried late at night. -EBF

[Flori_DAMAN]

Swinging 25 years without anyone ever getting a STD that I know means something to me. IT means that the risk factor is very fuckin low.

To hear people actually attack others for there personal decisions means much more though. IT means that unless we have thought police we are incapable of using judgement. That smacks of the very thougt pattern that would demise the lifestyle in general.

If you need to use your rubbers then read the directions and put them on properly.

If you aren't going to get pregnant or impregnate anyone then its just a matter of STD's. Having witnessed thousands of swinging parners engage in most types of behaviour for so many years without catching a cold leads me to believe that I really resent anyone telling me what to do. Yeah I may use them, but please don't tell me to. You are really out of line suggessting how another person or couple manages there lifstyle.

I find it appaling that anyone would have the balls to suggest that if consenting adults choose to engage in sex without rubbers they are bad people. Its kinda like the asshole that screws around on his wife, is a pastor and talks about monagamy.

WHo the fuck are you telling me what to do anyhow....and a swinger to boot. What posseses some people. If you wanna use rubbers use them. If you don't then don't. But for crying out loud this is not a good platform for practicing safe sex talk. Swingers are usually married and over 15. How very insulting and laffable at the same time.

John

[windsor4fun2]

Originally posted by Tom & Bonnie

The biggest danger nowadays, as was pointed out in an earlier post, is Latex Toxicity. That's serious and fatal to some!

Latex toxicity is definitely a growing problem but not just with condoms. Gloves, paints, medical supplies, toys...the list goes on. What many don't realize is that the protein in latex that causes the sensitivity is also present in many fruits such as bannanas. Unless you walk around wearing a condom 24/7, condoms are not likely to be your greatest source of latex.

Fortunately there is a test to determine if you are latex sensitive. If you have a reaction to latex of any kind you should be tested.

Jesse

[Flori_DAMAN]

The biggest problem I see is people living a life without fun.

If I had a harley FUCK the helmet. When they put the seat belt signs on the airplane i say WHY? When the road is straight and the weather is clear and no one is on the road WHY GO 65? GO 120! You may get a ticket but do it anyhow. Make sure you are driving a good escort with at least two matching tires though! Never take unnecessary chances!

People actually think that eating good food is dangerous. I dont just eat a good steak, I eat the fat. I put butter on peanut butter and make a sandwhich.

I plan on dying someday. I deal with people that are in their 90's all the time. I don't plan on getting there. I know one thing. There is no STD that will or could affect me. IF I get one then its OK man. It beats say, cancer of the eyeball. Shit happens.

OK IM DONE>

John

[PaulKing]

Great post John. Really great!

Best wishes to an old friend.

Paul

[PaulKing]

"What many don't realize is that the protein in latex that causes the sensitivity is also present in many fruits such as bannanas. Unless you walk around wearing a condom 24/7, condoms are not likely to be your greatest source of latex. "

Latex proteins are only one of a great many problems with latex. These include 41 toxins, 3 carcinogens, 2 suspected carcinogens and at least one known teratogen. Latex condoms have more toxic agents then any other product used internally by a substantial factor.

CONDOM INDUSTRY QUOTES




"...... new concerns are arising regarding allergic or other toxic reactions to various components of latex condoms such as vulcanization accelerators, latex proteins, spermicides and finishing powders."


"* Studies are needed to evaluate the best lubricants to use in the manufacture of condoms. Evidence suggests that the right quantity, type and placement of lubricant is important for condom functionality, acceptability and safety. In addition, the added value and risk presented by spermicidal lubricants and by dry finishing powders (e.g. talc or cornstarch) should be critically examined."

"Since the late 1980s the reported incidence
of allergy to natural rubber latex has increased dramatically, as much as 12 -fold."

"Latex allergy is incurable, although the symptoms, such as itching, soreness, painful blistering, runny noses, swollen eyes, asthma symptoms and anaphylaxis can be ameliorated.
Everyone who has contact wi th natural rubber latex is potentially at risk from sensitisation. Both patients and health care workers can be at risk from allergic reactions to natural rubber latex. Over the past decade, allergic reactions to natural
rubber latex have become a major public health concern."

" Once a person has developed latex allergy, however mild, they are “sensitised” to latex and are at risk from severe allergic reactions."

"Delayed cell-mediated reactions are the most common form of hypersensitivity reaction to natural rubber latex. These reactions are to individual chemical residues from the production process such as accelerants used in the vulcanisation process which is required to strengthen the product. The residual chemicals may bloo on the surface of the products and can be absorbed through the skin upon contact."


Condoms contain compounds known to cause cancer and serious birth defects in substantial quantities


SOURCE. Condom Industry web site and Beacon Pharmaceuticals, July 2001


Hope this information helps.

Very best wishes,


Paul

[Flori_DAMAN]

Ya know.

If I really wanted to have sex with someone it wouldnt matter. Id take my chances. Id put on a latex supermn suit. But just dont judge me for it.

John

[PaulKing]

Very fair comment.

[BiloxiCouple]

There appears to be a silent majority out there that doesn't use condoms. I only read 2 pages of the threads here and most want to use condoms with no exceptions.

Another sampling said something about knowing someone for a while before not using a condom

Another sampling talked about closed groups.

I feel these two samplings are very ineffective. Knowing someone is not going to keep things from being passed.

Closed groups? Who is the monitor of this group to make sure they don't stray? And if you allow a new member to "enter" who is going to take responsibility for this new member?

Go bareback, have some fun and use common sense. That was for the silent majority/minority.

The wife has physical reactions to condoms that may last for days.

Another thread on here mentioned that if this issue is a big enough problem for you, you may want to consider another form of entertainment/leisure/recreational sex.

How much bodily fluid does it take to transmit an STD? Thought that might make an interesting topic. Never thought of it until now.

Another interesting thought I have brought up before. Some people here might be concerned with a couple who goes bareback. How close are you to having sex with that couple if this type of issue concerns you? If we have sex with one couple bareback and later you have protected sex with that couple......How much bodily fluid is exchanged between all these couples?

Did you do a pre-sex interview/checklist with these couples? Were they honest?

You can call this lifestyle all kinds of different things and shade it different ways. You can have friends or not even know their names or just hate their guts. The bottom line is you want to have sex/fuck/blow a load/orgasm/penetration or anything else you want to call it. Everything else leads up to the sex act.

I know I covered alot of different subjects here but I feel they all sort of intertwine and maybe even a little contention.