How to ask for testing from my doctor

[ClosetSwinger]

My husband and I just established with a new doctor. I really like her, she seems very nice and easy to talk to. This is a good thing right?

I am going back in next week for a well woman check. It's just my yearly and I am having no problems. I do want her to check me for everything (again not having problems but would like to have that peace of mind) though but I am not really sure how to ask. My plan is to just say "Since we are already doing a Pap can you just check me for everything else too". My fear is that she will ask questions why since she knows I am married.

What should I say if she asks me why? Any ideas? I'd rather not say I think hubby is cheating but I ALSO don't want to tell her I'm a swinger either!

HELP!

[VegasLee]

As many here have found. The Truth will set you free!

Do you take your care to the auto shop and not tell them what is wrong?

How can a doctor check you for things she has no idea what to look for?

If you are not comfortable enough with your doctor tell them the truth then maybe you need to find a new doctor.

Your health is not something to play games with.

[lotsoffun201]

As a physician.....Just ask. If you don't want to tell the reasons why you are concerned, then you can say to him or her the following:

You know, perhaps I am might be a bit obsessive, but I think I want to know these things and since I am here we might as well do it. I know I will sleep better at night"

As a side note, I just went in for MY YEARLY PHYSICAL, I asked my private physician for some what would be considered "off the wall" tests for a routine exam. He did them without question.

[ClosetSwinger]

I wouldn't say I'm uncomfortable with my doctor. I like her, just established with her as I stated in my first post. I don't make it a point to go around telling vanilla people about my lifestyle. I obviously do NOT want to play around with my health since I AM going to ask to be tested for everything. I was just seeking advice on how to ask without having to reveal I am a swinger. I trust my parents and friends but that does not mean I would be comfortable telling all of them about my lifestyle either.

[BiloxiCouple]

I would rather do it with my Dr. I am sure a health clinic will do it also.

Like VegasLee said, "the truth will set you free".

[SW_PA_Couple]

I have told the primary-care physician more than once what kind of activities I was into and asked if there were any actions that should be taken. He recommended no tests unless symptom were evident and asked a few questions about symptoms. Each time he gives me condoms enough to supply the Russian army and on my way out says, "Be careful." When JoAnn told the gynecologist what she was up to, the gynecologist was horrified but basically did the same thing -- asked if there were any symptoms and set her home with a (discreetly disguised) bag of condoms, no extra tests being recommended.

~Michael

[asncpl]

I think it's important to let your doctor know. I told my ob/gyn about my lifestyle (ok, I did play it down) just so she may be more attuned to certain things. I can understand the fear of doc being judgmental, but hopefully they are taught not to do that. And I believe in their experience, they have seen and heard much worse.

[BiloxiCouple]

You have to remember the Dr.s work for you. They are not doing you favors, you are paying them to perform a service to your requests. You are paying for their training and eduction to provide you with the best possible answer and treatment.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by ClosetSwinger

My husband and I just established with a new doctor. I really like her, she seems very nice and easy to talk to. This is a good thing right?

Congratulations CS, you have already established one of the most difficult things to find for us. You see, Mrsfun has a phobia toward doctors or anyone in the medical profession. Not just the people but the places as well. You cant imagine what a dentist appointment could be like, you really cant..... But I digress, although I can say without a doubt I could understand your fears, without making light of them. Small hurdles can be very big challenges to some....

I am going back in next week for a well woman check. It's just my yearly and I am having no problems. I do want her to check me for everything (again not having problems but would like to have that peace of mind) though but I am not really sure how to ask. My plan is to just say "Since we are already doing a Pap can you just check me for everything else too". My fear is that she will ask questions why since she knows I am married.

What should I say if she asks me why? Any ideas? I'd rather not say I think hubby is cheating but I ALSO don't want to tell her I'm a swinger either!

Is there a chance since you mentioned "My husband and I established" you could ask him to do the talking ? Will this be a GP for the both of you, or a gynecologist for you only ? I'm not clear on that....

You don't have to explain the Whys as to your needs in full detail, and as a man who has good report with all of our medical personnel, I can say there will be no interrogation. Many doctors in this economy are just like mechanics, they don't want to give you reason to go elsewhere, they want you to stay with them.....

One of you needs to come forth with your inquiry or live in wonder until you do, and yes, you BOTH need to be checked ! Is it possible for either of you to speak on the phone before the actual exam ? That might relieve much of the tension in asking for a complete STD screening. Your new doctor will probably just schedule a time for you be at a lab for your blood work and nothing more will be said, until you return for your follow-up.

Believe me when I say, I'm not making light of your situation.... We can and do understand.... Try that phone call first, tell them you want a full STD screening to ease your mind in this day and times and your uncomfortable asking..... try it today, and I'll bet you feel better. Deal ?


fun4ds

[ClosetSwinger]

Thanks for all the advice, I appreciate it and you all have really calmed my fears about this. My doctor SHOULD work for ME and I am probably thinking about it too much. I know two other women that see her that have gone in with some crazy stories (one is a swinger and she TOLD the doc, the other thought she had herpes) so I am sure that what I say is not going to shock her. I think I am just more worried about what she will think of me. This is a GP btw. There is such a negative stigma attached to swingers and I hate that.

Hopefully she will just do the testing and not ask too many questions, if she does, I'll give short and sweet but honest answers. I'll let you know how it goes.

[tyndz]

Here's a thought....donate blood. They screen for EVERYTHING and, if something comes up, you get a letter. Now, I have never donated myself (big baby here), but my husband does at least once a year. I heard on the news after 9/11 & Katrina (basically after any major disaster) people flock to donate. Sadly, lots of blood is rejected and the donor gets a letter in the mail explaining why. IMO, you'd kill two birds here. Donating blood (a precious gift!)...and..."no news is good news". Food for thought.

[ClosetSwinger]

tyndz, that's a great idea and one I didn't even think of! Thanks for advising!

[PB&J]

Originally Posted by tyndz

Here's a thought....donate blood.

Swingers might not be too popular as blood donors, unless you don't tell them that you are in the habit of having multiple sex partners.

We finally told our doctor- or PB did, on his last visit a few weeks ago- he didn't even raise an eyebrow, asked the condom question, and that was that. We've been getting our STD testing done at a free clinic in the nearest city, and will probably actually keep that up.

[funcoupledayton]

Blood donors are tested for Hep B&C, Syphilis and HIV. So not everything, just the really bad STD's. Chlamydia, gonorrhea and HPV are not screened for when you donate blood. Your best bet is to talk to your doctor or go to a clinic and tell them your history. They will help you decide what tests to have done.

[Cajun2Step]

Thanks for starting this thread. This is a subject that we believe many in the lifestyle will be interested in.

Good luck and let us know how it goes at the doctor when you ask for the tests.