Double standard on oral sex: use of condoms for oral but not dental dams

[Regularguy]

Can someone explain to me why none here have ever seen a dental dam or condom used for oral sex in a swing club, but the same people use condoms for intercourse?

Lastly, can someone here explain to me why they dont' wear a helmet and body armor when driving when it has been proven to save lives, and all race car drivers use them.

[Roxysbayou]

Because my car has a hard top and a seat belt that I always wear when I drive. The chances of getting an STD through oral sex are very low, therefore I will take my chance before I go aroung sucking on a condom all night.:p I choose to use condoms for intercourse for my own piece of mind and to be sure that no strangers deposit their seeds. Hubby is fixed I am not. I have been on the pill but I am off right now for my own reasons. That's just the way it is, if you don't want to wear one, then go find somebody else to play with and stop wasting my time.

[Ashley]

Well I can answer the first part....it's because there has never been a documented case of AIDs transmission through oral sex. Let's face it, having sex with lots of different people is a risk no matter what the demographics are and lifestylers are just playing the odds. We weigh the perceived risk agains the perceived pleasure and make a judgement call.

[OhioCouple]

Again, it boils down to preference. We don't use them unless it is to protect for pregnancy, if we are 'that' attracted to them. But then again we won't even entertain the idea of playing with those who feel they need a condom otherwise.

It's a personal choice and we respect those that chose to play 'under cover', surprisingly though there are a whole lot of us that choose to play without. Perhaps it is more prevalent in the older age groups.....but we have yet to run across one that had the request for anything other than preventing pregnancy.

[Ashley]

Lori, I think the number of partners has a lot to do with it. L and I are in your age group(I think) and we always use condoms but then I think we are having more casual encounters than you two are. If we had a closed intimate circle of friends we would feel comfortable dropping the condom requirement. We have lots of friends in the lifestyle that don't use them but they respect our wishes when they are with us.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Ashley
I think the number of partners has a lot to do with it. L and I are in your age group(I think) and we always use condoms but then I think we are having more casual encounters than you two are. If we had a closed intimate circle of friends we would feel comfortable dropping the condom requirement.

That very well could be it, Ashley. While we have met with somewhere around 20 to 30 couples, we have only played with a small handfull. With the exception of one instance (which was oral only) all were long term married couples and I don't know how to describe it but the condom issue was never there. Granted if we really liked a couple that were insistant upon condoms, we would have no problem with it. We always carry our own each time we venture out, just in case and we do use them with one specific couple as the wife and my husband are both still 'fertile'.

I am not against condom usage and I don't mean to come across that way if I am. During my single years (between marriages) and for the time when even my husband and I were dating, condoms were a must for me or there was no play going to happen. But at that time, I was having casual encounters. I really knew nothing about the person I had sex with other than I lusted for them. I respect those that choose to do so and fully understand it. I just happen to think that sex without the 'helmet' is a whole lot more fun and we are pretty particular about who we have sex with and seek couples that are as particular as we are. Those that we have played with have had very limited partners and one of those couples have been playing for well over 20 years.

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
...I just happen to think that sex without the 'helmet' is a whole lot more fun and we are pretty particular about who we have sex with and seek couples that are as particular as we are. Those that we have played with have had very limited partners and one of those couples have been playing for well over 20 years.

Indeed, we would prefer sex sans condoms. Whether we play 'bare' with someone will really depend on how well we get know and trust them.

-B

[Regularguy]

"Because my car has a hard top and a seat belt that I always wear when I drive. "

Yet people are killed every day, and their seat belt and top didn't protect them.....

"The chances of getting an STD through oral sex are very low, therefore I will take my chance before I go aroung sucking on a condom all night."

True, but no lower than for intercourse.


"That's just the way it is, if you don't want to wear one, then go find somebody else to play with and stop wasting my time."

This is a very interesting comment. On ehand hand you don't want to suck on a rubber, then in another, you don't want to talk to guys who don't use them....pretty inconsistent.....but most importantly as to your last comment about 'finding someone else and stop wasting your time", Roxy, what makes you think I am remotely interested in you?! It would NEVER happen.

[danc694u]

On second thought...why waste my breathe.()()

[Roxysbayou]

Originally posted by Regularguy
This is a very interesting comment. On ehand hand you don't want to suck on a rubber, then in another, you don't want to talk to guys who don't use them....pretty inconsistent.....but most importantly as to your last comment about 'finding someone else and stop wasting your time", Roxy, what makes you think I am remotely interested in you?! It would NEVER happen.

I actually I was speaking in general, but NEVER happen. I doubt it. I know men better than that. And if you can so easily be led into believing this mumbo jumbo, I have a feeling that you could be quite easily seduced.

Sucking on a rubber and wearing them for intercourse are two entirely different things. Any study that I have read shows the oral sex statics to be nil. Suddenly your coming on this board and getting on your soapbox is supposed to erase years of research. I think not.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Regularguy
.....but most importantly as to your last comment about 'finding someone else and stop wasting your time", Roxy, what makes you think I am remotely interested in you?! It would NEVER happen.

It is obvious, Regularguy, that you are an articulate man. I'll give you that. Which is why I am confused that you internalized the following (written by Roxy):

I choose to use condoms for intercourse for my own piece of mind and to be sure that no strangers deposit their seeds. Hubby is fixed I am not. I have been on the pill but I am off right now for my own reasons. That's just the way it is, if you don't want to wear one, then go find somebody else to play with and stop wasting my time.

as that she may have had an interest in you. Are you SO self-absorbed that you saw her comment as a turn down to your manly hood? Oh, never mind. I nearly forgot that you are a "Single" guy with girlfriends. Your ego is already inflated....

Ms. 'O'

[ciscosv]

What can we say RegularGuy?

[PaulKing]

As I read it what regular Guy is saying is that in view of: -

'Author Michael Fumento, in his book The Myth of Heterosexual AIDS, offers substantial evidence that white, middle-class, non IV drug abuser heterosexuals are in less danger of contracting AIDS thru non anal,
sexual intercourse than they are of dying from shark attacks, being hit by lightning, or accidentally drowning in the bathtub. The
book is very well referenced and documented.

The book was reviewed by the Journal of the American Medical Assn as "the best single source available to enable heterosexual persons to assess their personal risk."

http://www.fumento.com/pozaids.html


...why is the risk considered great enough to warrant condoms. The risk of a drive-by shooting is far greater than that of sex but we do not walk around wearing body armor. No one says it is better to be safe than sorry in that situation, or thousands of others, where the risk is far greater than sex.

I don't think anyone can deny that in terms of statistics, the allergy risk from condoms is greater than the threat tcondoms are erroneously meant to protect against.

Hope I have your point of view stated correctly.

Very best wishes,

Paul

[Regularguy]

"as that she may have had an interest in you. Are you SO self-absorbed that you saw her comment as a turn down to your manly hood? Oh, never mind. I nearly forgot that you are a "Single" guy with girlfriends. Your ego is already inflated....

Ms. 'O'"

First of all her comment couldn't have been a "turn-down", as I have never nor would ever make an offer to be turned down in the first place. As to your last sentence, considering I have always been pleasant to you even if we had differing views, I am surprised you would resort to making ad hominems...I thought more of you.....

Seems that some here offer appreciated thought out responses, and others don't.