Serious Health Issue - How Much Info Will Dr. Ask??

Hopefully this problem will pass without it being what we're thinking it might be. Of course my wife's health is first and foremost.

We're doing alot of speculating as to what is wrong with her, and what to tell the Dr. The concern with what we tell the Dr. is what will then end up in our permanent medical records that might affect our future insurability.

We're a couple in our mid 40's, and have been swinging for 12 years. We mostly swing with other men, and usually at least a couple at a time. (Just what she enjoys). She enjoys being filled with cum, so yes, we do bareback. PLEASE DO NOT turn this into a debate on the safety of condom use vs. bareback. We're old enough to know the risks, and certainly old enough to let this be a warning and figure out what is best for us going forward.

We attended a monthly gangbang in Nashville the first of March. We then had a local play date with 3 other guys on May 5th. Shortly after (the same night) the May playdate she was very sore but that has happened before. But this time she complained of being sore more up inside. One of the 3 was a man we've met before who is rather large. Anyhow this soreness lasted nearly a week, getting a bit less sore each day until it finally passed.

On May 21st she started getting stomach pains and by the afternoon of May 22nd we were in the Emergency room....the pain was so intense in her lower stomach area....she ended up having emergency surgery for what they thought was a ruptured appendix.

Once the surgery was over the Dr. said her appendix was in perfect shape, but she had one of the worst cases of paratonitis (sp?) he had ever seen.....lots of infection in and around her appendix....cleaned it all out, and she spent six days in the hospital.

Was doing pretty well, still having a few aches and pains until Sunday May 30, and over the next 3 days the pain around her chest, and into her back got so intense they did a CT scan yesterday June 3, and said she had an abdominal abscess and sent her straight to the hospital again.

A gynecologist is now involved.....they're not sure what is causing the infections in her body, and how this is equaling the upper body pain. Last night was his first visit and lots of tests have been done today. I know he mentioned that during his exam last night he took a swab to test for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia.

In reading on the internet about these two STD's it sounds very likely that she might have one of these. The reason I say this is, I found several sites that talk about women getting internal abscesses and infections from these STD's.

On the other hand there are lots of symptoms she hasn't really had, such as vomitting, fever, difficulty urinating and such.

Anyhow, sorry for the long posts....but I'm sure some of the tests they've taken will be back this afternoon when the Dr. comes in and if it IS one of these, exactly what is he going to be asking us, and how much do we have to tell him?

[Coupleerotic22]

You do not have to tell him anything. But if you want them to be able to treat your wife effectively you should be forth coming about her/your sexual activity. You do not need to get into the details of the act. But it is best s/he knows that you are both sexually active outside your marriage. That might be all they need to know, but they may ask how many or how often, again, a simple answer of x number in the last year will likely suffice. I cannot imagine they need to know it was gang bang, but if they ask, I certainly would tell them.

Medicine, as much as we like to think it is, is not a cut and dried science. There are too many variables for it to be that easy. The more they know the better informed the decisions as to what to test and treat. Both gonorrhea and chlamydia are curable.

If they did run those test, then it is either likely your wife has already said something or the physician see something that leads him to believe those disease are an option. The fact he mentioned them could be him fishing for more information.

Your wife has to decide which is more important, her health or what may go in her medical record.

Good luck, I hope everything comes out for the good and your wife recovers fully.

[VegasLee]

I am totally in agreement with Coupleerotic22 on this one.

Her health is more important then what some doctor may think about her and you for that matter.

They can not fix something without all the facts. If they don't come back with something positive from all the tests you state they have done today then it would be time to come clean to give them a way to look for what is wrong.

Early last year I became very ill and it had nothing to do with my lifestyle but so that they had the facts to work with our doctor has always known about my Lifestyle choices. I don't like them guessing when it comes to my health.

This is something everyone needs to think about. You could be playing with fire in this Lifestyle and you have to be prepared to tell the truth if you ever have problems. I could mean your life.

[Chicup]

While I am against telling your physician about your swinging for routing exams, the reason being is people talk, this isn't routine. I had a friend of mine who is NOT a physician who knows a nurse tell me about the STD a colleague of mine had only a month ago. People talk and swinging is great gossip...

Anyways, thats for routine stuff. For this, it sounds SERIOUS, give them all the information, yea they might think 'less' of you, but this is a far too important to hold back.

Added if it makes you feel better, doctors are some of the biggest perverts out there, so not a bad chance your doc isn't to far from the lifestyle.

[Fundamental Law]

From a surgeon...

1. Your personal physician needs to know your sexual history. It makes a difference in decision making. Your disclosures must be kept confidential by the physician.

2. The pelvic inflammatory disease that you describe can easily follow from sex with an infected person. GC (gonorrhea) is especially common.

3. If it does turn out to be GC, there is an obligation to report the infection for contact tracing. All partners need to be treated.

4. Post-op internal abscesses are common in this setting. Fortunately most can be drained by an interventional radiologist.

5. The typical outcome from pelvic inflammatory disease and peritonitis (and surgery) is the formation of adhesions that can cause intermittent pain and even subsequent bowel obstructions. Fortunately, the latter is fairly rare.

Feel free to PM me if further questions.

[slevin]

Originally Posted by Fundamental Law

From a surgeon...

I love this site

I was unable to post this with the original post, maybe a mod can add it to that post.

This is a follow up from the original poster....I know when reading posts I often wonder myself how things turned out.

The Dr. never said anything about the tests that were done, so I assume that neither we're positive.

In one of the CT scans there were also "issues" with the left ovary that concerned the Dr., and her CA125 blood marker was high. The Dr. said the CA125 marker being high could be an indication of ovarian cancer, but it can also mean some other things.

The gynecologist and the general surgeon decided Friday that if she was able to get her pain under control they were going to wait on an operation and work on treating the infection. If her pain was not under control on Monday morning they were going to do a radical hysterectomy which is ovaries, uterus, fallopian tubes, and Hmmmm maybe something else...I forget but it seems like there were 4 things....(Maybe not though).

Come Monday morning the pain was no better, so she was taken into surgery at about 4 PM Monday afternoon.

The plan was to make a vertical cut from about the navel down, do the hysterectomy, and if the ovary looked like it could possibly be cancerous the general surgeon was going to open her up further and look for other cancer, and remove anything that could be removed at that time.

The gynecologist did his part of the surgery, and said she was a mess inside. Tons of scar tissues. Organs fused together. Uterus was fused to the inside of the abdominal cavity. Fortunately the "issues" with the ovary seemed to only be some major scar and even some old dried blood. He, along with the general surgeon was both so sure if was not cancer that they proceeded no further.

From what they could see of the pelvic area (where there was supposed to be an infection), it appears that, that was also scar tissue and some blood, possibly from the previous surgery, a week or so ago.

Will probably get the biopsy results tomorrow, but at this point things are looking good. The one unexplained issue is why the upper body pain when all the problem areas are in the lower abdomen area, but so far that pain seems to be gone.

They did mention a touch of possible pneumonia and plurasea (sp?).

Just to add a couple of things. She did have two c-sections 20 and 22 years ago, which probably attributed to much of the scar tissue. Over the years I couldn't hardly even lay my arm across her lower stomach area without it causing some pain. Also, we had/have a great sex life, and she even liked it hard most of the time, but you always had to work her "up to it." Sex always seemed to be painful starting out.

I guess we have alot of answers, but also have alot of unanswered questions also. If I had to guess...I would think the last night of sex with the other guys (one of whom is very large) maybe caused some tearing in some of the scar tissue, or maybe pulled some of the "fused" parts apart from each other or something along those lines.

As mentioned in the first post this will certainly make us reassess our situation.....if we'll continue to swing, and what precautions we'll take. Even if it turns out not to be an STD, it still makes you rethink how you should of been doing things.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Added if it makes you feel better, doctors are some of the biggest perverts out there, so not a bad chance your doc isn't to far from the lifestyle.

Originally Posted by Fundamental Law

From a surgeon...

Well that was fast.

[Coupleerotic22]

We hope everything turns out for the best for your wife, you and your family.

I would not hesitate to ask the doctors if any of the other test came back positive or abnormal, it never hurts to ask. It sounds like they ran quite a few, so it is not as if you are asking if she had an STD.

I am not physician, though I have worked with them on and off in my career, but never be afraid to ask questions about your or your spouse health. The vast majority of doctors will be very good about letting you know all they can. Even when you get the rare jackass with the bed side manner of a steel pot, press to get the answers until you are satisfied. You have the right to know.

Don't over think what might have caused it. Or at least don't beat yourself up for it. Learn from it and move forward.

Good luck and God bless

[interested-05]

First, tell your Dr, They see all kinds of things from all kinds of people, from all walks of life. Unless he is part of your sex life, it is simply his job to deal with the physical issues that affect your life. Your sexual options create alternative possibilities he may have to consider on how to proceed with diagnosing your symptoms.
. Second,
Where you feel the pain, is frequently not the source of the pain. What I mean by this, is that the body is made up of connective tissue that surrounds and envelopes every tissue of the body,This tissue is called fascia. What happens frequently with fascia is that it will begin spreading tension to surrounding tissue as the body attempts to compensate for this tension by trying to support the injured body part using other muscles and tissues, creating more tension elsewhere.
As an example, you injure your right leg and begin limping and taking the weight off that leg. you increase the pressure on the left leg, while having to also make adjustments in your support of the pelvis thru your back, shoulders and head position. Now you have more back pain also along with headaches you dont normally have. The pain origionated in your leg, but is now also in your back and head.
The upper torso pain you describe in your wife, with all the scar tissue involved in the abdomen could be, I'm not saying it is, directly related to the body compensating for all the internal damage that currently exists.
YOu may wish to consult with a DR. of Osteopathy, as they have more training related to connective tissue than a general practitioner, and suggest alternative options for treatment.