Genital Herpes HSV2

[sassycpl]

Just a heads up to any one that does not know much about HSV. We recently got Gentital Herpes HSV2 and both of us got it at about the same time or one from teh other with in a week. Its not clear when we got it or who from but we havent been with anyone in a year except a couple 2 weeks ago that is new to the lifestyle, we all had protected sex other than Oral and less than a week after we started showing all the signs of a first break out. Condoms dont give you protection against it but they can help, and no one had cold sores or soars on their genitals. The other couple thinks they are free and never has seen a sign in 10 years being together and only been with us. Our doctor recommended telling any partners we have had, so how far to you go back, its possible that we did not get it from the couple a week ago but it sure seems like thats the most likely place since 1 out of 4 females have it and most dont even know it and it is thought 1 of 3 swingers have it also and either dont know or dont tell. So while we dont want to leave the lifestyle and friends, we dont want to give it to anyone new either. There has to be other people in the same boat as us, it has come to mind that maybe thats whay some cpls disappear that were active. Any thoughts or comments?

[SW_PA_Couple]

Well, I'm pleased that you built the poll to allow multiple choices. Any of them are possible in individual cases but I marked all except these two:

Go to partys, clubs and meet and greets but only play together with each other. I think of that song about Chicago where Frank Sinatra sings about the man who actually danced with his own wife. Have seen it at clubs, of course. They're called exhibitionists. But who knows what reason? Might simply be exhibitionists.

Change to soft swap only to avoid giving it to others. Once you go all the way to wild it's difficult to go all the way back to the "mild".

Just thought of them as the least likely. No hard evidence, of course. We know of nobody who has disappeared from the scene than subsequently communicated to us it was owing to HSV, HPV, or XYZ. We hear "rumors" but rumors are not ever to be believed.

~M

[hsv2biguy]

I am pretty open about it, mosty i get ladys off of sites screaming about me having it and i should go some where and die,thats not fun.
Pretty hard to find a partner, but still looking, and getting creative living with it.
hsv2biguy@yahoo.com
If you go somewhere and see a blue balloon, chances are they are a H group.

[Chicup]

My guess is most couples wit HSV2 just wait for the symptoms to go away and keep on swinging.

People are like that.

[CXXC]

HSV2biguy

I do see how the ladies could have that feeling initially. If you think about it, no matter the inherent risks involved in swinging, we take them with a grain of salt while utilizing whatever protection measures we deem fit. Certainly the possibility is out there for the 1:3 becoming anyone. The fact that HSV is not a killer holds little weight in the argument. Having to take any medications or change in routine to minimize outbreaks is not an option to most people.

I have canceled a play date due to a cold, a simple cough and sniffle. I did not want to pass it along to anyone and felt it the right thing to do. My intended play mate was very appreciative of my concern for her well being. That was just a cold, something you get for a few days and never get that one again. Imagine how upset she would have been had I given her my cold? Now, think of the possibility of her contracting HSV from a playmate. How upset would she be then?

I can honestly say, no one wants you to go off and die (well, if you have infected anyone, there may be some) they simply wish you would stop playing. Even you admit that condoms will not stop the spread. Knowing that and the fact that “----Sometimes those who know they are infected spread the virus between outbreaks, when no signs or symptoms are present. This is called "Asymptomatic Transmission." Research also shows that herpes simplex infections are often spread by people who don't know they are infected. These people may have symptoms so mild they don't notice them at all or else don't recognize them as herpes.---“ you can possibly understand why they would want you to no longer be a member of the lifestyle.

Until they actually find a cure for the virus and many other issues, I would not expect any sympathy from potential playmates after you tell them (and I assume you do so before playing. That is the responsible thing to do). I am certain your infection was not a conscious decision. I am equally certain you were upset when you realized who infected you. Put those emotions in play here. Imagine your potential playmates feeling that way toward you. Would you really want that over a simple, and hopefully polite “No Thank you!”? I’d take the refusal any time!

Just my .02

[TheLorax]

Infections like HSV2, chlamydia, and HPV are among the main reasons I prefer to play with a select few people regularly rather than lots of new people all of the time.

I believe in safer sex, but with sex you are playing an odds game. I also think living life in a bubble is boring, so I play, but work to mitigate the risk.

[quietlykinky]

Originally Posted by TheLorax

Infections like HSV2, chlamydia, and HPV are among the main reasons I prefer to play with a select few people regularly rather than lots of new people all of the time.

I believe in safer sex, but with sex you are playing an odds game. I also think living life in a bubble is boring, so I play, but work to mitigate the risk.

Well put. It's all a matter of weighing the pros and cons of how you want to swing and then making a choice based on what risks you are willing to accept.
We choose to have a few, select, regular partners who are looking for the same thing we are.

While this does increase the likelihood of drama, it decreases the likelihood of catching something. It doesn't completely eliminate the risk because all it takes is one of our few, select couples to play with someone infected and we could end up with it too. Still, the risk is much less than if we are having lots of random, one off hook-ups.

[DigginIt]

We feel the same as most everyone here on this board. We would probably be a little upset in the change in our lives but we have accepted that it is a possibility that we may get it.

The Lorax said it best, it's all about mitigation and doing what you can to lower the odds, only guarantee is to abstain but fat chance of that happening.