Does age have any bearing on condom use?

[crazinred]

Being new to this so far its been no condoms even though we have them with us. Red prefers the feeling of bareback. I prefer the clean up afterward. We keep discussing it and are really undecided at this time. Red is fixed so no worry about getting pregnant. So far I have only played with 2 other women and only had intercourse with 1 and neither said anything about a condom.

[AdamInEve]

Thanks for voting.

OK, so it seems that the votes have basically stopped. We almost reached 100 so I guess it is time to recap with what I feel are some interesting but not surprising results.

First of all, it seems like there is definitely an older group responding to this board. Second, the use of condoms seems to coincide with age. The older couples definitely seem more willing to go condomless at least occasionally.

Total Votes by age:
21-30 11 votes
31-40 23 votes
41-up 57 votes

It seems the older the age group, the more willing couples are to go condomless.

21-30 11 votes
Always use condoms 63.6%
Never or occasionally 36.3%

31-40 13 votes
Always use condoms 52.2%
Never or occasionally 47.8%

41-up 31 votes
Always use condoms 24.6%
Never or occasionally 75.4%

Interestingly enough the total number of votes still suggest the majority of couples are willing to not use condoms at least occasionally. And by what I would consider a pretty good margin.

Votes in Total: 91
Always use condoms 36.2%
Never or occasionally 63.8%


Any comments?

[The Fuse]

My category wasn't there: "Don't like them but still use them most of the time". Sorry for not voting. I'm 42 (The Answer, for all you geeks out there), and Mr. Fuse is 41.

An earlier post asked whether women can tell if a man is using a condom. For me, there is no comparison between sex with a condom and sex without. Without a condom, I can actually feel the man, rather than what he feels like through a latex glove. Put a latex glove on your hand and feel various things. The difference is profound. Without, I feel body heat without a layer in between to blunt it, and I feel skin and bumps and ridges. With a condom, all sensation is dimmed somewhat, except for the feelings of being filled up, and friction (not bad things, those ).

Still, we use them. Until and unless we are pretty sure we are having a longer-term relationship with another couple. And then the other couple has at least once said they still want to use them. So, there are plenty of people out there very serious about condom use. Personally, when I get to a certain point of comfort with a person, then I just feel like there shouldn't be a protective layer between our privates.

We've only had one couple we liked refuse to play the first time with condoms. Had no trouble passing them up. If you can't do it a few times to see whether we like playing together, and whether we like each other enough to continue seeing each other, then all right... we'll move on.

We feel our strategy limits our exposure somewhat, though I have come to believe they don't protect much against the diseases you're most likely to get that cannot be cured -- with herpes being the chief concern.

[AdamInEve]

Originally Posted by The Fuse

My category wasn't there: "Don't like them but still use them most of the time". Sorry for not voting. I'm 42 (The Answer, for all you geeks out there), and Mr. Fuse is 41.

Oh sure Fuse, throw a wrench in the works!!!
I understand exactly what you are saying though, as we feel the same way but I think this would safely put you in the "Rather use them but occasionally wont" category just because you stated you use them "most" of the time and because like us, in the grand scheme of things even though you would rather not, in regards to the lifestyle you still would rather use them because you may feel its best thing to do, at least most of the time.

WHEW!! Does this make sense?
Next week I will define the word "is".
Go ahead and vote if you would like.
Thanks

[Mr.Essex]

Originally Posted by MikeandDawn

Dawn and I have a definite "no condom" rule for our partners. But, some explanation is in order. First, we have never, and will never do the party scene. We only engage in intimate acts with select males with whom we wish to pursue a somewhat long-term play relationship. This includes a "getting to know you" period of time where we discuss all things, both sexually and otherwise, to get a feel if this person is worthy of our trust. Then we'll procede to some "soft swap" type activities. We have taken precautions against pregnancy, and since AIDS/HIV is probably the biggest fear of many people, we insist that a potential playmate who is willing to commit to only playing with Dawn alone or with us together to get a cheap $50K term life insurance policy from our agent, which includes a HIV test. Once they provide us with the declarations page of the policy, we'll drop the kissing and oral sex for full blown intercourse, complete with creampies. Dawn won't have it any other way, as she gets off SO much on feeling a guy squirt inside her (as do I watching it:-)). I realize we are definitely not the norm, but that's how we roll.

A bit mercenary, but I can more than understand the need for physiological security. If I were placed in that situation, and the insurance policy weren't exceptionally dear, I'd gladly submit myself to that test. Then again, I'd still rather lose my non-prophylactic virginity to my wife, and not to a woman who may see fit to cast me aside at her whim. After a few years of marital bliss (with children), I'd probably think differently about indulging myself in that regard.

[GoNatural]

I think that the original poster's idea of breaking down the age groups for this poll is good, but I also think that more voters on this poll will be above 41 years of age, and therefore the percentages will fall mostly in their categories.

[toycple]

One of our rules has always been use condoms. While we did bend this once in the past and have considered doing so recently with very very close friends. We have always had intercourse with them. I so think we are inthe camp that prefers to not use them. We don't use them with each other, and I am pretty sure we would both much like the feeling of skin on skin with others. But now it is sort of two fold, STD's and the Mrs is not on birth control of any kind.

[CXXC]

Put us in the "Always use them but wish we didnt have to camp!"
Mr. CXXC is V-Safe while Mrs. CXXC can still become Pregnant and is not on the pill or other form of birth control. This is the BIGGEST reason for the requirement to ALWAY use them.
As for STD's, this is in second place as there is really no third, forth or later place. We look at STD's with disdain but realize they are very possible no matter what you do.
Oral Sex is performed by us both without dental dams or condoms. Fingering is freely performed by men (Self included) upon more than just one woman in an event. The same illnesses can be transmitted via fingers as they can on exposed genital flesh. We have even seen sex toys used without thought of condoms.
We have not engaged in sexual intercourse without condoms with our partners yet. Perhaps, if we knew there would be no issue of pregnancy we would. This is still not 100%.
Get the clap and it will cost you about $100.00 (depending on your insurance covereage, less if you hit the free clinic) get pregnant and that is gonna drain your bank account for another 18-21 years.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by AdamInEve

Oh sure Fuse, throw a wrench in the works!!!
{snip}

Sorry, I'm an engineer; we always have to be picky, picky, picky.

The more we swing, the more I dislike condoms. And I am continually puzzled by the difference between peoples' experiences! In our experience, almost everyone insists on them. According to many in our age group on this board (lower 40's), lots and lots of people don't use them unless specifically asked. It seems as if for lots of folks, the convention is to say you use them, and then not to... sort of like saying, "Yes, I eat right and take my vitamins and floss every day".

I'm not sure Mr. Fuse would want to relax our rule, but argh... after we've been with people a few times, I really want to feel the warmth and bumpiness and throbbing of skin sans latex.

[linda smith]

at the club were i go to, i dont recall lastime i saw a couple/poeple using condoms!!...id say 90% of all of them have unprotected sex, there all so drunk and pilled up im sure they wouldnt careless about condoms...

[MIbbwcpl]

Originally Posted by Clarmane

Seeing that my wife gets a alergic reaction from latec,we expect a full std screen test result(taken in the week we want to play) from our playmate.

I (the female half of this couple) am allergic to latex. There are options. Polyurethane condoms are one option, and so are polyisoprene condoms. The polyisoprene ones are relatively new, one brand is Lifestyles Skyn.

Latex allergy is not an excuse for not using condoms IMO.

[azdesertlover]

We don't use condoms at all. Good objective studies have shown that they are 80% effective at stopping an STD at best. Some STDs transmission protection is as low as 15%. And some, not at all. All STDs can be transmitted via oral sex. Bottom line is... even if it's a small percentage, you are playing Russian Roulette.

As swingers, abstinence and monogamy aren't much of an answer. For us, we require a recent STD test for all STDs (that's important, because the default is to test for the more popular STDs, not all of them, including HIV).

Our answer to the problem is that we've been working on putting together a small group that have all been tested for STDs, and that they don't play outside of the group, or with anyone else that hasn't also been tested.

[xyzzy07]

We normally use condoms when playing with others. The only times we haven't have been with two couples that became regular friends and sex partners. Was that wise? Who knows?

It's absolutely true that it feels much better to have sex w/o a condom, so it sure would be nice to not have to use them. However, since they are at least partially effective, it makes sense.

[AdamInEve]

Originally Posted by azdesertlover

Our answer to the problem is that we've been working on putting together a small group that have all been tested for STDs, and that they don't play outside of the group, or with anyone else that hasn't also been tested.

I guess that would be ideal but no matter how close of friends you think you may be and how trustworthy you feel the rest of the group is I am not sure that you can be 100% certain that people wouldn't stray from the group every now and then without the groups knowledge and I guess if there was a way to crunch those numbers they would equal the effectiveness of condom use.

[azdesertlover]

You are right. It is a matter of trust, but trust goes both ways. Deep down, everyone in the group would like to swing more, but the fear of catching something you don't want is what stops them.

We've had two scary close calls. The first was that we found out someone at a party that we went to, had Herpes, only we didn't find out until a month later. This person is a regular in the group, and almost no one in the group knew about it. The person with Herpes figured that they were taking Valtrex regularly, and hadn't had an outbreak, so it wasn't a problem. WRONG!!! Herpes can be passed on, even if an outbreak isn't occuring, and even if the person with Herpes is taking Valtrex. Granted, most people at the party used condoms, but that was only for vaginal intercourse. No one used a condom for oral sex. And like I mentioned, all STDs can be passed via oral sex.

The second incident is when we were with this great couple. We really clicked with them. Then a week later they told us they had Herpes. They "forgot" since they were also taking Valtrex and didn't have an outbreak in years.

At that point, we knew that if we wanted to continue to be swingers, we had to do something different. After doing some research, we determined that the CDC's recommendation was very misleading and out of date. More recent research has revealed that condoms are not as good a originally thought. And as I mentioned, no protection against STDs at all in some circumtances.

Therefore, the only way was to either stop swinging, or keep it to a small group that has been tested. It's not perfect. Nothing short of abstinence is. Even keeping sex to be between you and your partner, and no one else, relies on trust.