Do you ask? Do you tell?

[two42lovers]

Here's a question: do you ask your partners if and when they've been tested? Do you ask what kind of tests? No one has ever asked us if we were tested (not ever.) As it happens, we are tested twice a year - been playing for two years. We are active swingers, but we've never tested positive for anything.

Food for thought:
1) The easiest to contract, worst STI you can get is Hep B - easily transferred and incurable. There is a vaccine for Hep A & B - have you received it?
2)The worst, most difficult STI to get is HIV - not easily transferred at all.
3) Condoms don't prevent the two most common STI - herpes & HPV, both incurable. Herpes is almost never tested for unless there is visible evidence. There is no HPV test for men.
4)People who are "pee" tested for STI are not tested for any of the above - a blood test is required.

If you tested positive for an STI, would you tell your play partners so they could be checked? Or would you say nothing?

[realcplub2]

I don't want to cause a debate, but, can i ask a question, BUT

Just because no asked you, Does that mean you never asked whom ever you were considering yourselves?

We are tested the same as you are Bi Annually, and tested clean as well.. And when it comes to planning we usually ask before the telephone numbers are exchanged..

[screaminggood]

Yes, we do have the Hep B vaccines, not originally because of the lifestyle, but because we travel to remote areas of the world.

I don't ask....I assume most people would say no anyway. I do ask friends at the clubs I frequent if there's anyone that we should avoid.

[two42lovers]

Yes - we always ask, and to be fair, perhaps some of them would have asked us first if we hadn't beaten them to the punch.

Usually the answer we get is "we get tested once a year". We also discuss what we'd do if we ever tested positive (we'd tell them) and let them know we care about our health and we intend to stay STI negative.

How would you handle it if you tested positive for an STI - would you tell all your playmates since your last negative test? Would it be different if you are positive for HPV or HSV I or II?

[jdavisauto]

Hell I have you all beat, I get tested 4 times a year. But that is because I have Leukemia and my doctor keeps a close eye on it. When he does a blood test on me I also request a sti tests be done as well, also my doctor knows that I am in the lifestyle. It is because of these blood test that I found out that I now have Melanoma but not through the blood test it self but through a cat scan that I get once a year.
Just for the record, I been tested clean for sti's everytime. So far in my 46 years on this earth I have never had any kind of sti/std's.

[sweet_tna]

I get tested at least once a year, but we haven't really been asked about it--nor do we ask others. It seems pointless, since the test results are only good for the day you test. So someone could, in all honesty, tell us they got a negative test result on Monday when we set up a date. On Saturday, when we have the actual date, they could already have contracted something. (shrug)

It's all a calculated risk.

=)

[Greg & Sheryl]

Originally Posted by screaminggood

I don't ask....I assume most people would say no anyway.

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

It seems pointless, since the test results are only good for the day you test.

Indeed, it might make you feel better to hear your potential playmate say "I'm tested and clean," but that won't necessarily make you any safer. That's not to suggest that you shouldn't start the conversation, but you should be aware of what you're getting out of it.

[two42lovers]

For us, asking about testing is to learn where they are coming from and how they roll. If someone has been getting tested regularly, they'd find out if they have an STI and be treated. Someone who never gets tested has no idea about their STI status - and apparently doesn't care. It's not about proving you are STI negative (impossible to do) but regular testing does let playmates know you care about your health and their health.

So far, no one has said they'd inform past playmates if they tested positive... of course they may have no way to make contact. We do wonder what other people think about disclosure. Should people inform? Or is it up to each person to test and find out themselves?

If a playmate told you they'd been exposed to Chlamydia, and said you should be tested, would you get tested? (Remember Chlamydia is completely curable with one dose of antibiotics.) Would you avoid them afterwards? Would you tell anyone?

[two42lovers]

Is this too touchy a subject? Very few responders - and no one saying what they'd do if they found out they had an STI...

[NWAtlSwing]

What about Hep C?

Originally Posted by two42lovers

Here's a question: do you ask your partners if and when they've been tested? Do you ask what kind of tests? No one has ever asked us if we were tested (not ever.) As it happens, we are tested twice a year - been playing for two years. We are active swingers, but we've never tested positive for anything.

Food for thought:
1) The easiest to contract, worst STI you can get is Hep B - easily transferred and incurable. There is a vaccine for Hep A & B - have you received it?
2)The worst, most difficult STI to get is HIV - not easily transferred at all.
3) Condoms don't prevent the two most common STI - herpes & HPV, both incurable. Herpes is almost never tested for unless there is visible evidence. There is no HPV test for men.
4)People who are "pee" tested for STI are not tested for any of the above - a blood test is required.

If you tested positive for an STI, would you tell your play partners so they could be checked? Or would you say nothing?

[WildMiCouple]

I've been tested twice since we ventured into the lifestyle some 5 yrs ago. And it had nothing to do with swinging, but rather for some life insurance policies.

We've never asked nor have we been asked by playmates if we have been tested. And if a couple said they would need to see test results before they played with us, we'd politely move on.

As far as what we would do if we contracted an STD, we'd immediately stop swinging and deal with the depressing news as best we could.

Brett

[TropicalCpl]

I think if we tested positive we would try to contact partners we had after the previous testing (which would have been negative). We wouldn't always know how to contact partners, but if we had a contact for them, we would - or at least I like to think we would.

I agree with Brett too - we'd quit the lifestyle and deal with the problem. If it was a curable problem we would resume our lifestyle after the problem was taken care of - I think.

Until it happens, I guess we really don't know how we'd deal with it.

Good topic - and I hope it makes a few couples talk about the 'what if'.

Mrs. Tropical

[chakka]

My husband was away on buisness once and called me to say he needed to find a clinic, that he had "discharge from his penis" So he finds a clinic and this doc takes one look at it and says, "oh you've got Gonorria. So the doc takes a swab ( ooouch! ) to sent to the lab and give him an antibiotic. So hubby calls me and is concerned, because two weeks prior to this, we had been to a swingers weekend, Inn take over type thing with about 40 people. If they say you have basically been with anyone your playmate has, all 40 people must have had some connection with each other. Oh what a weekend that was. Anyway we were then faced with telling 20 or so couples about the Gonorria. So I called the organizer of the party and told her what happened. She sent out a general e-mail to all 20 couples telling them someone had Gonorria that had attended that weekend, but would not tell them who. We also told our recent playmates that were not at the weekend gathering. So through the grapevine we hear people from the weekend are having themselves tested. We felt awefull. This is a very painful procedure for a man. Then about 3 days later we get a call from the doc at the clinic.....The Mr does NOT have gonorria! The test was negative. He was later tested again. Nothing. The doc claims mabe it was a UTI sounds strange to me. We had to send out another e-mail to explain what happened. We felt so bad. To this day we will occationally hear friends from that weekend talk about it and wonder who it was. It was the organizers idea to keep our identities secret. That was a big relief to us, but we would have told people either way. Their health is a bigger priority then our reputation.