couple admitted positive - what now?

[des1re06]

So, a couple floored me and admitted they're positive for genital warts. My initial reaction was, "why the f*ck are you swinging!!?"

I, of course, started looking into what it means and how it's transmitted.

Genital warts are very contagious. You can get them during oral, vaginal, or anal sex with an infected partner. You can also get them by skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal, or (rarely) oral sex with someone who is infected. About two-thirds of people who have sexual contact with a partner with genital warts will develop warts, usually within 3 months of contact.

If you are infected but have no symptoms, you can still spread HPV to your sexual partner and/or develop complications from the virus.

So, would you advise your immediate play group to avoid them, since they're obviously not taking themselves out of the game? They're still having oral and kissing (I witnessed this), and who knows what else.

It's incredibly selfish of them to still be showing up at swing events, in my opinion.

What do we do?

Thanks,

Mrs. D

[funcpl4life]

Originally Posted by des1re06

Genital warts are very contagious. You can get them during oral, vaginal, or anal sex with an infected partner. You can also get them by skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, anal, or (rarely) oral sex with someone who is infected. About two-thirds of people who have sexual contact with a partner with genital warts will develop warts, usually within 3 months of contact.

The symptom rate sounds high to me. I've heard (but can't confirm off the top of my head) that there are many more silent infections than what you show here. IOW, far more than 1/3 of the people with HPV never develop symptoms. I've heard estimates as high as 50% sexually active people will have the virus during their lifetime.

Originally Posted by des1re06

If you are infected but have no symptoms, you can still spread HPV to your sexual partner and/or develop complications from the virus.

Yes, it is possible to spread the virus asymptomatically.

I may be a little slow, but besides warts and cervical cancer, what complications? (There's that thing with newborns and their lungs but isn't that hella-rare?)

Originally Posted by des1re06

So, would you advise your immediate play group to avoid them, since they're obviously not taking themselves out of the game? They're still having oral and kissing (I witnessed this), and who knows what else.

I would talk to them. The immune system usually clears the virus within two years. Get more information and share your concerns with them. See what's up. When you have all the information you think you need, sit on it for 24 hours. Talk to them again before you talk to your play group. Give them the maximum chances to do the right thing.
Mr FC4L

[screaminggood]

Are you saying that they told you but not the people they're playing with? Is it possible that they told them as well, or do you know for a fact that they didn't?

[tribbles]

So, would you advise your immediate play group

I wouldn't tell anyone to avoid them. I would discuss HPV in general terms and find out what my play group knows.

BTDT and discovered no one cared. HPV is simply too widespread. (HSV-1 is also) "Oh, I had a wart, the doctor took care of it" was the most common response to questions about genital warts. The next most common comment was "I had a PAP test that wasn't normal and was treated. The doctor said it was from HPV but I'm good now. I just need lots of follow up tests."

And while the ladies were treated for HPV when the PAP was abnormal (and took a short break during treatment) their male partners still played on......cuz there is no test for HPV for guys.

Heck, with some studies showing oral cancers may be associated with HPV, one guy who has been treated for cancer, twice, and admits it may be from HPV, still plays. Could he pass it orally?

If someone really, really doesn't want to be exposed to anything, Don't Swing. The next safe way would be a very tight, closed, group to play with-and everyone is educated about all the different germies out there. If anyone in the group 'cheats' though.......


Most of the people we know are not educated enough about health to know when they are putting someone at risk for something. And the rest can be told of a wart and treatment and not know of any risk they are taking by playing with someone who knows they recently had a wart. (sigh).

We discovered this and decided to keep playing cuz the benefits are worth the risks to us. Same as those who do other risky hobbies.

[fun4Ds]

I'm sure this felt like a ton a bricks..... Wow!

Des, I'm gonna be honest. Here is what I would do and why.

I feel I want to treat people that I have had sex with, the same as I would want in return. For me, If I contracted any STD that I knew of, I would tell everyone that we have ever had sex with.

Our group is not that large, we can testify we know and remember every single person that we have ever had sex with.... in our lives.. None, have fallen off the face of the earth. Every one of them would tell you they know how I feel. It's who I am, and the ground I stand on. We all have to be somewhere. Its not about statics to me, the people I have had sex with are not just a number, they are and will always be more than that.

I don't expect everyone to agree how I feel. Like I say its just the ground I choose to stand on. If my idea of being open about contracting or coming in contact with those that have STD"S,, prevents some one from having sex with me. So be it. So far though, no one has turned me down because I would tell them I contracted something OR came in contact with someone who has knowingly.

Here is what I would do, but only because those I have had sex with or may possibly have sex with know how I feel beforehand. If you don't want people to know about STD's you might have or don't want others to know. I'm the last person you want to tell.

So for me having a friend in the group who told me this putting the weight on my shoulders. I say, "you tell our friends or I will..... And I will, its up to you !

Des, I'm in now way saying this is what should be done. We just feel this works for us.

[lovinher]

Close friends I would tell in a heartbeat because I would want them to tell me. Otherwise I would mind my own business and avoid playing with them. That said I give them credit for telling you.

The thing is I may continue to swing if we had it but all play partners would be told way in advance in the hopes of finding somebody who already has it. I don't think I could play with a couple even if they didn't have a problem with it. I wouldn't want that on my conscience.

Think about it, it would really really suck if you had it and couldn't play anymore. Who knows, if they are lucky they may find somebody who already has it and then everybody is happy. I have seen profiles on Swing Lifestyle where they mentioned it up front. So I have no right to say somebody with HPV should not swing at all. But swing "events"-I agree with you completely.

[good times]

We have friends who have HPV, they are not in the lifestyle but their experience with it got me thinking. Which led me to do a lot of research on HPV. Unfortunately, their is either a lot of BS out there regarding HPV, or very few of the people who have researched it can agree. The reason I say that is you can read the conclusions of five different studies, and all five will have totally different results with very little agreement on anything.

Their are a few general trends in what is believed about it though. The one that surprised me the most is that, depending on who you believe, anywhere from 40% to 90% of the population of the US is believed to have been exposed to HPV by the time they reach 40 years of age. Which implies that in all likelihood, if you believe this, either you or most of the people you have played with either has it or has been exposed to it. In which case, again if you believe the research that supports the claim, you have already built up an immunity to it, and are therefore not at risk or at least not at as high a risk.

So the bottom line for me would be, how long ago did they test positive and do they still test positive for HPV? If they are currently positive, then yes the temptation to tell my playmates about it is definitely there. Because frankly, I wouldn't want to play with someone who is currently positive for it, nor would I want to play with anyone who had played with them. Whether it would be right or wrong to tell others, I don't know, but then again, were I them, and found out I was positive for something like this, I wouldn't be swinging in the first place.

[J&D]

Had a co worker who at a wedding reception for another co worker announced to the group that she had herpes. She went on to say nothing to worry about as it is not active. Well the group cleared a space around her real fast as no one wanted to take a chance.

I guess it all depends on the person as to whether or not they think they are infectious or not.

[JustAskJulie]

I could be wrong, but from discussing this with a friend who has had genital warts, I was under the impression that once they have been treated (removed) it's done. So it becomes "we had HPV" not "we have it". If that is the case it would be important to know which it is. If someone told me that they had had a genital wart removed, it would not decrease the likelihood of my playing with them. If they told me they currently had a genital wart, then that would be a different story.

Also, from a previous thread that delved into HPV quite a bit there are quite a few strains of HPV the main two being the one that causes warts (an uncomfortable inconvienence at worst) and the one that causes genital cancer.... so again it would be important to know which one you are dealing with and if it has been/ can be treated.

The vaccine that is on the market treats the vaccinates against the ones that cause cancer but not against the ones that cause genital warts. So, while I know you can have the warts removed can you be treated after the fact for the type that can cause cancer?

To answer the original question. I would have to agree with Tribbles post above.

[des1re06]

She told me she currently had warts, not they were gone. She had planned to get them "burned" soon.

Yes, they were actively kissing and letting people perform oral on them at the event.

So, I felt uncomfortable, and we didn't play at all because of it.

I'm just asking how you'd feel at if this was told to you at a house party.

I know there are many different opinions in the scientific world about all sorts of STDs.

It's a close group who see each other regularly.

I was just a bit freaked. Yes, I'm thankful that she told me, but damn, why were they there in the first place. I have no idea if they told anyone else.

I'm not thinking we'll never get an STD, but are currently this minute clean and want to lower the risk if possible.

Mrs. D

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by des1re06

She told me she currently had warts, not they were gone. She had planned to get them "burned" soon.

Ummmm.......

I can't think of anything nice to say......

Its an amazing level of stupid mixed with honesty. You can't claim she just doesn't care about other people because she told you, yet at the same time, its just so damn...stupid.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by des1re06

She told me she currently had warts, not they were gone. She had planned to get them "burned" soon.

Yes, they were actively kissing and letting people perform oral on them at the event.

So, I felt uncomfortable, and we didn't play at all because of it.

Definately puts a spin on the situation. I have to wonder why she told you guys if she wasn't telling others? I'm hoping that they were telling others that they played with during the course of the night.

[lustylearning]

My husband had this idea a couple of months back when we were pondering the idea, "what would we ever do if..." If the couple is showing up at events, notify the event runner/club owner that you are aware a couple has this std. You don't even have to name names. The club owner could then make a general announcement or send a mass email or what have you, advising everyone to be tested. Everyone's awareness is heightened; hopefully everyone is tested; and such an announcement would make the couple think twice before sharing cooties.

[newbieswinger]

i think its illegal to knowingly have a STD and not tell anyone. i would contact the local health dept and ask about it

[VegasLee]

Ok, as someone that has been around this for over 30 years and a club host this is the type of nonsense that just pisses me off.

We are fucking adults here. You have something that can effect the health of other people stay the hell out of the clubs and lay off the playing with others until you have yourself cured. Take some personal responsibility for your own actions, be responsible and don't expose others to possible danger.

The only 100% safe way to never catch anything is to not play with others. Keep it in your pants but if you know you have something, or know someone has something, don't play with them.

As far at telling a club owner so they can MAKE A ANNOUNCEMENT TO GET TESTED. Get serious. They make that announcement and the club will be cleared out in a matter of seconds. You have a name, give it to them, let them tell the infected people to get out of their club. Let them do the responsible thing if the infected person won't do it their self.

We are not high school kids playing games here folks. We are grown adults, it is time that people act like it and take responsibility for what is going on in their life.

You know for a fact someone has something that could endanger the health of others, OUT THEM. If you can't do it, then tell the host. Get it taken care of. Don't act on rumors though, know what your talking about.

I am with Chicup on this one. This is just to damn stupid to even have to think about.