Oral question

[hot4you]

I think the following might be considered "DUH" questions but I would like to know and have no other resource. My man and I have had experience with one couple only and are moving on. This couple are people we've known for a while and know them to be disease free. I know safe sex is practiced in the LS but was wondering about oral since we love doing it. With our limited experience I was concerned about...the clear fluid (semen?) that comes from a man...and what about any moisture that comes from a women...is it possible to transmit anything via that? We are d/d free and want to remain that way but really want to play. How is oral sex handled at a club or party?

[SexyNSingle]

A lot of it boils down to self policing in my opinion. If a person is very conscious of his/her hygiene then chances are you will be just fine. If you are worried about STD's etc., perhaps all of you could go and get tested and that way you would all be assured one way or the other.

[tribbles]

Read up on STD's. Yep, you can catch plenty of them orally and no, there are not always signs of infection.

It's simply a risk many of us are willing to take for fun.

[olycouple]

This is one of my major concerns, too. As a newbie who is currently soft swing only...oral is the only type of "sex" I'm willing to have with anyone other than my mate. Ironically, it's almost more dangerous because I'm assuming most people choose not to use condoms during oral sex (though many do during intercourse)...and well, I don't know how a woman could manage to "cover anything" during cunnilingus (I've heard of female condoms but I have no idea what they actually look like or how they work). I've also read on this board that there are some very thin condoms that may be a possibility for BJs. I guess that would probably be the only safe way to conduct oral sex. I personally can't imagine giving head through a condom...the sensations just aren't the same for either partner. Of course, I haven't tried those extra thin condoms. I guess I'd say, only play with those you trust. Sucks, I know, but...it's the safest way to go. But, then, as many say on this board...there's a certain amount of risk in everything, how much are you willing to accept?

[SweetandSalty1]

DH and I haven't started swinging yet but we have both agreed that we will have a condoms only policy inluding oral sex unless we really get to know a couple and know for sure that they are std free.

[MrsHidalgo]

Most of the time, we only play with couples or singles that we know and have known for quite a while. When we DO play with someone new (which is very rare) I have to agree that it's a little concerning. But, I just can't picture oral with condoms. I like the completion and the taste.

[highlander]

The other thing you can do if you tend not to use condoms during oral play is limit your play to partners with recent STD test results. The significance of those results will degrade over time. Still someone with 3 month old test results is less likely to have something nasty that someone that has never been tested(who may have something and just not know it).

Now, it is a lot easier to ask someone for test results if you can show them yours.

[sweet_tna]

Yes, there are risks for STDs with oral sex. Testing, condoms, and selectivity of partners can all help reduce the risks, but they're always present. You can use condoms, but most couples (in our experience) opt to go without for oral.

You have to decide what risks you're willing to accept.

=)

[Alura]

A doctor, a playmate, once told me, "There is very little risk of getting a virus type of STD (Herpes or Aids) from oral sex. The mouth and stomach have some very powerful chemicals in which viruses, which are quite fragile, cannot survive. The vagina, and particularly the colon, are not so protected.

That leaves bacteria-caused STDs such as Gonorrhea and Syphilis which can be cured with a simple shot of antibiotics.

That leaves a rare transmittal called "piggyback." If a person has both Aids and Syphilis, an Aids-infected syphilis or gonorrhea "germ" can carry the Aids virus into the bloodstream. Penicillin will kill syphilis or gonorrhea but not Aids. The worst risks of this is from unprotected anal sex.

I'd strongly recommend anyone to do more research before deciding to accept my friend's assessment.

Mr. Alura

[midnightplayer]

I being a married man playing alone, (my wife is not willing to engage in the lifestyle), is as concerned as a married couple. I feel relatively safe in a bi, couple relationship and not so comfortable playing with males in a couple situation where the male goes off and has mm play. This is a worry, because bi and gay men tend to go to book/video shops, bath houses, and porn movies houses for casual, anomomus sex with men they don't know and have not understanding of their background. Couples tend to be more concerned about whow they get naked with and make reasonably sure their playmates are careful.

[highlander]

Originally Posted by midnightplayer

I being a married man playing alone, (my wife is not willing to engage in the lifestyle), is as concerned as a married couple. I feel relatively safe in a bi, couple relationship and not so comfortable playing with males in a couple situation where the male goes off and has mm play.

Here's the thing about sexual history, you really can't be sure of what someone tells you. Many folks will be very honest here-but the extreme cases won't be.

That is one reason why stuff like testing and condoms that take this out of the realm of opinion is valuable.

[highlander]

Originally Posted by Alura

That leaves a rare transmittal called "piggyback." If a person has both Aids and Syphilis, an Aids-infected syphilis or gonorrhea "germ" can carry the Aids virus into the bloodstream. Penicillin will kill syphilis or gonorrhea but not Aids. The worst risks of this is from unprotected anal sex.

I'd strongly recommend anyone to do more research before deciding to accept my friend's assessment.

I think your friend is basically right. I don't think the details of the 'piggyback' phenomena are well understood yet though. I've seen speculation that there may be some other forms of piggyback beyond the two that doc mentioned
(specifically cofactors that are otherwise benign).

Anyhow, my feeling is that testing is so non-invasive, that it is simply a wonderful precaution to take.

I'm not going to tell anyone _not_ to take any reasonable precaution they need to feel safe.