Been there. Done that. Had a good time.

[tribbles]

Is the info I have right...it takes up to 3 months after exposure for the blood test to show positive for HSV-2?

So, jnb, I wonder how safe the tests are? Someone could play last month, take the test and show negative while passing the virus on.....As for protection--
even protected sex didn't help one of the ones here on this thread........

It also made me wonder if that might be why people flirt, tease with you but back out then....they don't want to take the test to find out their status....or they take the test and decide not to tell.

We had one couple admit they don't do HIV tests cuz they do not want to know and as long as they feel healthy, they aren't getting any tests to learn otherwise.

[tnohcpl]

50's lady thanks so very much for u'r input about telling. u saved me money now i don't have to buy a tee shirt with "i have herpes" on it. LOL. the 2 couples that r swingers we know, we plan to tell them as to why we can't and won't swing with them. all our other friends we will just go on as nothing has happened, as that is the point the dr was making with what he said. as far a swinging for u the suggestion about the herpes group may be a route u may want to consider down the road. thanks again, and good luck. d&j

[jnbsmokin]

Tribbles,
You have a great point, I know hiv can take 6 months to show up. We have played 3 times in the past 3 years and were just tested again in November. It's something we do around our anniversary too(hence the Nov test even though we hadn't played since oct 06). The aids thing is scary, especially because people can carry it for 10 years + before showing symptoms. And if our testing policies scare people away, well I consider that a very good thing, because it most likely means that they would ruin our "clean streak". And that's something I can't abide. After all, if we can't be very picky and strict about who we have sex with, then what can we be picky about, you know? We are only after clean naughty fun, if that makes sense...

[funfrkycpl]

Unfortunately this is one of the risks that all of us that are active in the lifestyle take. You can take every possible precaution, including testing, but nothing will protect you %100. We applaud 50sLady for her openness and honesty about her situation. We also respect your decision to not participate in the lifestyle any longer, but there are sites for swingers with herpes if you change your mind. We did a search and came up with this one, HSwing.com - A Sex and Swingers Community for Adults with Herpes

If everyone knew the exact number of swingers with herpes there would probably be a lot less people in the lifestyle.

[graygo98]

Originally Posted by toomuchfun

The only way we could have been safer would be using condoms / dental dams during oral.

If you find out you have HSV1, then you mayknow the answer to that one.

If your playmate was one of the 75% plus of the people on this board that have HSV1, but was in the minority that showed symptons and shedding, then she could have transferred it to you through oral sex. (Heck, even if it turns out to be HSV2 it could still have been transmitted to you through a BJ, its just a little less likely.)

What's my point? Well, anything other than sex with you spouse has risks. Even fully rubbered, dams and all, there are still risks. You can minimize them but not avoid them. Second, even though I definitely feel for both the OP and toomuchfun and would not want to trade places with any of them, they are not in such a different space than most of you reading this post. Most of you already have herpes in one form or another but are blissfully asymptomatic.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by jnbsmokin

Trading full test results is absolutely mandatory for any sort of unprotected fun, and if they have played since the test, it's completely protected or not at all.

Originally Posted by jnbsmokin

This is exactly why we ask how often people play before we mention tests. We attack this issue head on in the second email, letting people know, we only play with test results, and only if they have had completely protected sex since the last test, and they must be willing to submit to a test 2 weeks prior to playing with us. Most hiv/aids tests take up to 2 weeks for results. We have no issue doing the same. One of our mfm was with a good friend of ours, he still had to get tested! I only say nasty, because of them being willing to spread it, the honest and up front people with stds get nothing but respect from us. I suppose in my temper, I didn't make that clear.

I'm curious do you ONLY Play with people who will exchange test results or do you only play BAREBACK with people who will provide test results. Your two posts said different things so I'm a bit curious there.

[funfrkycpl]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I'm curious do you ONLY Play with people who will exchange test results or do you only play BAREBACK with people who will provide test results. Your two posts said different things so I'm a bit curious there.

We were a little confused by that ourselves.

[toomuchfun]

Well blood tests came back and said HSV1 so most likely we got it from oral.

Even knowing that's most likely how we got it, I don't know that we would have changed anything. With perhaps the exception of requiring test results with all playmates.

[widowerman]

I was never too worried about “sex disease” however, I don’t think of myself as immortal. Unfortunately my “partner” caught a case of them herpes from some partner because she let her guard down too much. She had unprotected sex with a guy who was notorious for screwing everything and anything without protection. His bad, her weakness. Personally I have not been with her for some many months now, but not because of the fear, actually it’s of all things, the cost of gas. My swinging has dropped to a nothing due to distance from my partner, my depression and of course, gas prices. Depression? That’s the way things are because my wife died, not of a sex disease or a car accident but because of a silly thing like cancer. You can protect against a “sex disease”, but what of cancer? She did not smoke, was more of a vegetarian, she was always active but she gets cancer. Why does the wheel turn that way? So you took a chance with sex and you came away with a buggy? So what. Are you a life lesson to us all? Yes, but it is what we want to do. We take the warning and fight the best fight. Is sex the end of it all? For a moment it is Eden, but even Eden has a snake. Should we stop? Why? Just be careful and enjoy. The next few breaths you take will never be lived again. Enjoy sex, life, a book, a movie, a story – all of the things around you. They are there for you and me.

Hey I like the lifestyle, would do more but time and distance are my enemies. I like my partner, she introduced me to the style, but I won’t abandon her. She is my almost “next best friend”. My wife when she was alive and even now is and always will be my best friend. Although I did not swing with my wife, in fact I would never have thought of it, she was many lovers as she was one. But now she is gone and I move on.

Will I reject my partner? No. She is a friend of mine. Have protected sex, yes you should always practice it. Live a good life, love what you want and take a tumble with something exciting. Why not?

[wondertwinpwers]

50s lady,
Even though you put yourself at risk-i.e., herpes.....just want you to know, as you probably already do:
1)herpes can be contracted even when no lesion is present in the partner.
2)sometimes lesions present inside the vaginal cavity-and you don't have symptoms
3)according to my physician friends--herpes is very prevalent in the middle to upper class (count yourself lucky, i guess)LOL
Just know my friend, you are not alone!!! There are very many people who share this also.

Now to everyone else......syphilis is on the rise! Be very careful!

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by toomuchfun

Well blood tests came back and said HSV1 so most likely we got it from oral.

Even knowing that's most likely how we got it, I don't know that we would have changed anything. With perhaps the exception of requiring test results with all playmates.

HSV1 is cold sores....by the time the age of 50 90% are positive. Educate those you played with and good odds at least HALF are positive and don't understand it.

We are most likely positive for it simply due to age and exposure....neither of us have ever had a cold sore on the lips. We know that doesn't mean we don't have it.

HSV3 positive HSV4 positive and HSV6 positive and good odds on HSV5.....(I hope I have all the numbers after HSV right )

Now all of you, go figure out your positives....betcha most of you are also positive for 1,3,4, and 6 and many for 5 as well.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by tribbles

HSV3 positive HSV4 positive and HSV6 positive and good odds on HSV5.....(I hope I have all the numbers after HSV right )

Now all of you, go figure out your positives....betcha most of you are also positive for 1,3,4, and 6 and many for 5 as well.

Ok, I'll admit it, I'm familiar with 1 & 2, but what are the others? Got a list somewhere?

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Ok, I'll admit it, I'm familiar with 1 & 2, but what are the others? Got a list somewhere?

Lazy, much?

Chickenpox 3 (shingles is the same)
Mono 4
cytomegalovirus 5
Roseola infantum 6

I'll grant you until I took microbiology I did not know either.

[good times]

Also, did you know that if you are positive for HSV antibodies of any kind, you are more resistant to contracting it from others than those who are not. Note, I am not recommending you go expose yourself to build up your resistance, I just found that an interesting result of one of the more recent studies. I think that is also the same study that found that 85-90% of people over the age of 50 will test positive for HSV of some type.

[good times]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Lazy, much?

Chickenpox 3 (shingles is the same)
Mono 4
cytomegalovirus 5
Roseola infantum 6

I'll grant you until I took microbiology I did not know either.

The list I have is slightly different.

HSV1 - cold sores
HSV2 - genital Herpes.
HSV3 - chickenpox, and herpes zoster or shingles.
HSV4 and HSV5 - mononucleosis
HSV6 and HSV7 - roseola
HSV8 - Kaposi's Sarcoma, These tumors are found in people with AIDS and are otherwise very rare.