Penis contact: at what point should a condom be required?

We have been swinging about six years. Recently while at a couples home for our 1st sex with them, The male was rubbing my vagina up and down with his penis WITHOUT A RUBBER. We were super clear with them about our ALWAYS policy with condoms. I was concerned at the time about the open vaginal penis contact. I did not ask the male to stop however. It was in the HEAT of the moment and FELT GREAT lol. I have started thinking how bad is it to allow penis contact without protection? If i'm ever in a situation again like that what would be a non-rude way of saying that's too far 4 me? We are into full swaping I am freaked about the penis contact thing thou. I told the male the next day that I was not too happy about that happening. He was 100% fine with that and said he was caught up in the moment also. The questions are how taboo is penis vagina open contact? What are the std risk? Should I even be so freaked out about this?

[dave_susie2001]

How much contact is too much? It depends on what your comfort level is.

Of course there is some amount of risk associated with penis/vagina contact. Just like there is some amount of risk in penis/mouth contact.

If you feel strongly about condom use, by all means use them. If someone crosses your threshold for comfort, stop them and make them put on a condom. "Caught up on the moment of passion" is the reason there are so many teenage mothers out there.

You have your comfort zone and your rules. Stick to them, or re evaluate and change them. But the time to change the rules isn't in the middle of the game. Just my two cents worth...

[OhioCouple]

I think everything that Dave and Susie had to say was right on target. Keep within your comfort zones. Since you had already expressed your rules with the other party and you had concerns when those rules were being broken or stretched you needed to stop the activity and speak up immediately.

I doubt seriously that you could have been exposed to an STD for just the outer contact but it is also important to remember that any sort of physical contact with another person can expose you to the risk of an STD if the other person is infected, whether you use a condom or not. Condoms are not fool proof but certainly gives you more protection than un-protected sex. (And piece of mind.)

Lori

[Tellya Later]

you went to far as both sperm and I'm guessin HIV can be found in the precum.

[ciscosv]

There are risks. Herpes and genital warts would my main concerns. Those STD's are on the skin. Like the previous poster stated, precum can also cause problems.

[Brit_Pair]

With Tellya Later and ciscosv on this thread. Unless you're very sure of a partner's sexual history/state of health, some form of barrier protection is the way to go. Equally so with regards to unwanted reproduction, unless you're certain that you won't end up pregnant.

We met with this couple again just today....he did it again!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him I don't want any unprotected contact b 4 we ever came over. I did ask him to stop but, we will not see thses people again. I'm very annoyed over this.

[Brit_Pair]

Seems like he's a self-gratifying jerk. Give him the widest berth possible.

[DragonsLair]

I agree with you on not seeing this couple again. He's not worried about you or what you want. He sounds like he's only out for himself. Once was forgivable, an in the heat of the moment thing, but to do it twice was on purpose. You're better off finding new playmates. Ones who'll respect your limits.

Best of luck.

DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

[OhioCouple]

I agree with both Brit_Pair and Dragonslair. Get as far away from these people as possible. Anytime someone intentionally breaks a set ground rule, it is unacceptable. This second incident proves that perhaps the first time wasn't all that unintentional.

Lori

[b smith]

Hi, you are right to be concerned and it is an excellent rule to have. However the risk, I believe, is dependent on several factors which includes such things as his sexual history, if vagianl penetration occured without a condom, if he had a pre-emission while he had the contact, and if he ejaculated without a condom. Assuming he did not ejaculate without a condom or penetrated you vagina without a condom it is my feeling the risk of STD's is fairly low. In putting your mind at ease, I would recommend that you get seen by your family doctor or public health office to be screened but I am fairly confident if that is all that occurred you did not pick up anything.

[ciscosv]

All I can say is....What a D---.